Can anybody talk me down from buying a bicycle?

[mjmacky]

I was wearing my predator's asshole t-shirt, true story. If that doesn't demand subservience, I don't know what will.

You didn't tear the shirt did you?



-doobs

Camouflage still intact. My shin took the the dive for all my body parts, the clothing, and the bike. On top of that I must have been up and back on the bike in less than half a second. It all happened so fast that I didn't have time to call them selfish cunts or stalk them with laser beams.

[brotherdoobie]

I decided to ride my daughter's bike to pick up some doobage last summer and wrecked it twice in five minutes. I laid on the front brakes both times.

Mind you, I had polished off a liter of Busmills before the trip. But still ...


-doobs.

[Artemis]

I decided to ride my daughter's bike to pick up some doobage last summer and wrecked it twice in five minutes. I laid on the front brakes both times.

Mind you, I had polished off a liter of Busmills before the trip. But still ...


-doobs.

Slightly less athletic, but still with copious amounts of alcohol as a theme, I went to dinner one night with my wife at rather upscale restaurant, and during the feast was caught up in showing off my knowledge of agreeable local wines. It was a great night, the wife was suitably impressed and rosey cheeked, and I was quite merrily warm and relaxed myself. We returned home (not of our own volition), to find a pony had gotten out on to a whole paddock by itself. Right you bastard! we got out the quad bikes and chased the smartarse around that paddock with the bikes till it's eyes were bugging out. Not very PC, but something I still remember and have a quiet cackle about every now and then.

[IdolEyes787]

On top of that I must have been up and back on the bike in less than half a second. It all happened so fast that I didn't have time to call them selfish cunts or stalk them with laser beams.

Adrenaline brought on by extreme embarrassment will do that to you.

[mjmacky]

to find a pony had gotten out on to a whole paddock by itself. Right you bastard! we got out the quad bikes and chased the smartarse around that paddock with the bikes till it's eyes were bugging out.

I take it you had more horsepower.

[mjmacky]

On top of that I must have been up and back on the bike in less than half a second. It all happened so fast that I didn't have time to call them selfish cunts or stalk them with laser beams.

Adrenaline brought on by extreme embarrassment will do that to you.

I wish I crashed into them.

[Biggles]

Bloke I know cycles to the station, leaves it locked up in the cycle locks, and gets the train to work.

A couple of months ago he had his bike stolen, "fair enough" he thought, shit happens, so he claimed it on the insurance and bought a better bike.

A few weeks later that got stolen too, (even though locked in a CCTV area blah blah blah), so he claimed that on the insurance too and bought an even better bike...


Last week the bike thief got sent to jail. Result! It was in the local paper and everything.


Anyway, yesterday when cycling home he appears to have gone round a bend too fast and fell off this super duper bike, ripping a hole in his suit and all kinds of shit.

So there you are.

This has really nothing to do with what you're asking, by the way, except that it too involves bikes.

And an imbecile.

As a bleeding heart liberal I think bike thieves should have their dicks* nailed to a busy main road.


*Still attached to their bodies obviously...I'm not an inhuman monster.

[mjmacky]

Took it out for a planned 50 mile ride today (round trip to and from my brother's). Ended up doing 25 miles and having my brother drive us back home. My neck and ass were fucking killing me. The bike is clearly way too small for me (when I thought it might only be slightly too small when I bought it). I have the seat adjusted comfortably, but I can't in any way ride erect, I'm having to lean too far forward (the handlebars don't go any higher). I'm also afraid to put too much weight on the seat itself by riding with no hands as I have it extended just about as far as the indicator allows.

I want to install an extension for the handlebars, but the guy at the bike shop refused to even advise any solutions other than "it won't be safe" and "your bike is too small for you" (I think he didn't give a shit since I didn't buy it there) :/
I'm thinking I can an install some sort of square or u-shaped bar with an extra clamp, is this workable or am I going to end up putting too much torque on the whole fork mechanism?

[ckrit]

Maybe swap the bar for a trekking/butterfly bar, or a bullhorn bar (bullhorn bar won't do much, however), or get something like this: http://www.chainreactioncycles.com/M...?ModelID=51648

A longer stem from there might help too.

Gonna look silly if the angles end up extreme, though.




I'm sorry about not linking you a fitting tool or a diagram of some sort, I guess I thought you'd thought of it already.

http://www.competitivecyclist.com/za...LCULATOR_INTRO
http://www.ebicycles.com/bicycle-too...izer/road-bike

etc.


I've got a pretty good notion of what size road (and what size mtb) frame I should have by now, so I just check if the manufacturer does something particular with frame sizes and up- or downscale a size accordingly if necessary, before buying. Or have, the two times I picked up new frames for myself (not whole bikes. The last bike I bought I checked in the store (one-size folding bike), and the one before that, I checked my existing bike, then used a couple of fitting tools for good measure).





edit: if the bar is simply too low, a steam raiser might work too. Scroll down a bit for examples: http://sheldonbrown.com/harris/stems/index.html

Or you could just get a new fork and stick a bunch of spacers under the stem, and cut the steerer tube higher.


Obviously, anything I suggest comes with the qualification that it'll potentially make the bike look bad, will tack on weight, and people might call you a nub/fred.

editII: The very first thing I'd do is check whether you can move the saddle any further back, and look at a longer stem, or one with steeper rise, or both. If you're really lucky, that might be workable.

[IdolEyes787]

I'm going to try and be helpful as I can but whereas anyone with any experience could tell you precisely what is wrong within 10 seconds of seeing you ride this is all going to be throwing shite out there and see if any sticks.

Fifty miles is an extraordinarily long way to ride for a novice so I'd be surprised if a lot of things didn't end up hurting.Since it's your "ass" and neck though I would first suggest the "unaccustomed stress" thing before starting to panic and throw good money after bad.Other than that a "sore ass" is usually a symptom of having your saddle tilted forward instead of level or preferably very slightly backward to hold you in place and distribute the stress properly on your pubic bones / coccyx.Neck pain could be attrutibrted to the same thing -putting too much weight forward.

As for sizing going old school to simplify to something you can check in a few seconds.Stand over your bike wearing whatever shoes you wear when you ride(feet on either side of the top tube).Lift the handlebars/front wheel up.You should have about 2 inches of clearance.Anything close 1-4 inches you can live with.Greater than that you may have a problem.

Next thing when you sit on your bike you should (again shoes will have a big effect here) and place your heels on the pedals you be able to "backpedal" and have your legs fully extended (but in solid contact with the pedals) at the point of greatest stretch.That will ballpark you to correct saddle height and if your current seatpost is long enough.
Next still sitting on your bike place the cranks parallel to the ground and with the bll of you feet over the spindles of your pedals a plumb line should intersect the bony protrudence just under your kneecap.Slide your saddle forward/back until you achieve this.
Lastly with the top of your handlebars somewhere between 1-4 inches below the top of you saddle (height of bars determined more by hip flexibility than anything else) and hands on handlebar drops your front axle should be obscured or at least in danger of it.

Note cycling shoes/clipless pedals have a big effect on what the optimal height is but since you are setting up to ride a TT in the Tour de France I think if you give your body time to adapt then anything ballpark will do until ,if ever you decide you want to really start pushing.

PS Snee probably knows more about everyday stuff than I do, so understand everything I say is merely suggestion.That and a pro "breaking in " a slight variation in setup would be seriously fucked on a straight out of the box 50 miles.Don't believe me then try typing for 2 hours straight and tell me if your fingers don't hurt.