I think I just end up getting trolled on dating sites

[mjmacky]

I'll read your Maryspaz later

It took me a good 5 tries to not read that as marzipan. I would have caught on sooner, but I was distracted with the thought of, "how did you know it was sweet without reading it?"

[Squeamous]

You missed the read earlier squeams, but I don't actually meet most women online. I meet them through friends and at school or social functions related to the people at my school. But do go on about how to successfully utilize a dating site.

And I'm relatively candid on here compared to the atmosphere. I tried for awhile to remain completely anonymous and private, but that goes against my inherent nature. It still doesn't compare to how I am in person, and I do ascribe to honesty trumping all things. My discretion policy involves not saying anything at all. If my mouth is to be running, it's going to express an honest thought. You may find that selfish and insensitive, but I'm really not interested in participating in all the little games everyone plays with information and distortion. Actually, I should amend that and say that I can enjoy the fun of it in the short term, I can be a very convincing fibber, but I always immediately disclose with "no, I'm just kidding" once I've got them convinced. It's probably very annoying, but I'm working toward my final point.

You're presenting ways to sell me off more effectively as if I'm a catch to be had. I pose that I'm not, and am a much more difficult person to deal with then the common lot, emotionally and intellectually. Plus, there's always the chance that I might physically rough a girl up (which I imagine can also be very annoying). I'm not a striker, just a grappler. On top of all that, I'm slightly overweight and average looking. Like, what are you really trying to accomplish here? Despite all of that, I do rather fine on my own, and most of my complaints are the type of people I meet. So, perhaps point out what you are are trying to get out of this? Molding a jaded egotistical little man into a proud, white, vital man of society? Have you been trying to do that all along?

I think the worst dishonesty anyone can exhibit is lying to themselves. You can be as honest and brash as you like with other people but if you can't do so with yourself that's pretty pathetic. It seems to me this whole way of life is built on one big falsehood: that you can have your cake and eat it. How many times must people experiment with the darker reaches of their psyches (and other people's), before they learn not to trifle with them? I know what you've all been doing: just be practical, be rational, be logical, don't be like all the other drones who have nothing but their instincts to fall back on. But don't you feel that disassociation of feeling and deed creates something of a vacuum of.....anything? Any feelings at all? It just creates an emotional landscape of beige where people can act out in the most heartless ways without even realising it.
I don't want to make you into a strong, vital white man. I don't think you're a great catch either. You seem a bit fucked up. I guess what I'm asking you to do is not impose your fucked-up quite so much on the world around you and maybe try to be a bit more thoughtful and less silly. I'd like you to meet a woman you could have an easy, loving relationship with, and I don't think you will get that starting from such inauspicious beginnings. Even if you meet a nice lady, how good will things turn out against this very unconventional back drop? I also think you need to stop being a coward. The option is not just 'be with someone I don't care for until I find someone I do'. Why don't you try being on your own for a bit? If you wait for life to happen to save you from having to make a decision it will, and it will blow up in your face. Controlled demolition is better.

[Artemis]

Will you marry me Squeamous?

[Squeamous]

Will you marry me Squeamous?

Only if you sign a pre-nup relinquishing any rights to my balustrade

[Artemis]

Will you marry me Squeamous?

Only if you sign a pre-nup relinquishing any rights to my balustrade

Of course, it was more out of admiration at your brutal honesty, a trait I have always admired in others, it leaves no confusion, you understand exactly where you stand, often dumbstruck by the brutal truth, but in no confusion at all at what the other person is thinking.
Your balustrade is safe, and the commute to tell you that I no longer want to talk to you would be prohibitive, enough to give even a hardened stalker even with a great bonus, pause ().

[Squeamous]

Of course, it was more out of admiration at your brutal honesty, a trait I have always admired in others, it leaves no confusion, you understand exactly where you stand, often dumbstruck by the brutal truth, but in no confusion at all at what the other person is thinking.
Your balustrade is safe, and the commute to tell you that I no longer want to talk to you would be prohibitive, enough to give even a hardened stalker even with a great bonus, pause ().

^
Oh no. Now I'm starting to sound like Mary (moment of crashing self-awareness ensues ). It's only when honesty and good communication aren't there that you realise how important it is. I've had something of en epiphany in that regard of late.

[mjmacky]

I think the worst dishonesty anyone can exhibit is lying to themselves. You can be as honest and brash as you like with other people but if you can't do so with yourself that's pretty pathetic. It seems to me this whole way of life is built on one big falsehood: that you can have your cake and eat it. How many times must people experiment with the darker reaches of their psyches (and other people's), before they learn not to trifle with them? I know what you've all been doing: just be practical, be rational, be logical, don't be like all the other drones who have nothing but their instincts to fall back on. But don't you feel that disassociation of feeling and deed creates something of a vacuum of.....anything? Any feelings at all? It just creates an emotional landscape of beige where people can act out in the most heartless ways without even realising it.
I don't want to make you into a strong, vital white man. I don't think you're a great catch either. You seem a bit fucked up. I guess what I'm asking you to do is not impose your fucked-up quite so much on the world around you and maybe try to be a bit more thoughtful and less silly. I'd like you to meet a woman you could have an easy, loving relationship with, and I don't think you will get that starting from such inauspicious beginnings. Even if you meet a nice lady, how good will things turn out against this very unconventional back drop? I also think you need to stop being a coward. The option is not just 'be with someone I don't care for until I find someone I do'. Why don't you try being on your own for a bit? If you wait for life to happen to save you from having to make a decision it will, and it will blow up in your face. Controlled demolition is better.

I don't see where you tried to demonstrate that I was lying to myself, did you just go off on a tangent? Where is my cake? Your entire argument hinges on this cake, which is a prerequisite of consumption. You would have me eating crow, or a shoe, neither being that tasty.

Additionally, you seem to want to curb experimentation with life and the psyche, and claim that doing otherwise is cowardice? You've got things muddled and it might be because you seem to be heavily invested in the concepts on display. Not that I'm rejecting it outright, but there's too many mixed messages that probably stem from you forgetting some of the details. You can label me as fucked up, it's a label I don't really mind, but my approach has been driven by logical retaliation to each of the situations I've been dealt.

I am already alone, but this isn't actually a cry for help. There seems to be a drive to break down the theory of my personal lifestyle, and I'm happy to oblige, but the original point of the thread was to showcase some of the recent silliness I've come across. To read into it any further than that is a stretch of your own imagination. I'm not discouraging it, though, I just want to make sure that's clarified so that you can enjoy a little more breathing room. Continue your analysis if you will.

[mjmacky]

Oh no. Now I'm starting to sound like Mary

Now you're just flattering yourself.

[Artemis]

I think the worst dishonesty anyone can exhibit is lying to themselves. You can be as honest and brash as you like with other people but if you can't do so with yourself that's pretty pathetic. It seems to me this whole way of life is built on one big falsehood: that you can have your cake and eat it. How many times must people experiment with the darker reaches of their psyches (and other people's), before they learn not to trifle with them? I know what you've all been doing: just be practical, be rational, be logical, don't be like all the other drones who have nothing but their instincts to fall back on. But don't you feel that disassociation of feeling and deed creates something of a vacuum of.....anything? Any feelings at all? It just creates an emotional landscape of beige where people can act out in the most heartless ways without even realising it.
I don't want to make you into a strong, vital white man. I don't think you're a great catch either. You seem a bit fucked up. I guess what I'm asking you to do is not impose your fucked-up quite so much on the world around you and maybe try to be a bit more thoughtful and less silly. I'd like you to meet a woman you could have an easy, loving relationship with, and I don't think you will get that starting from such inauspicious beginnings. Even if you meet a nice lady, how good will things turn out against this very unconventional back drop? I also think you need to stop being a coward. The option is not just 'be with someone I don't care for until I find someone I do'. Why don't you try being on your own for a bit? If you wait for life to happen to save you from having to make a decision it will, and it will blow up in your face. Controlled demolition is better.

I don't see where you tried to demonstrate that I was lying to myself, did you just go off on a tangent? Where is my cake? Your entire argument hinges on this cake, which is a prerequisite of consumption. You would have me eating crow, or a shoe, neither being that tasty.

Additionally, you seem to want to curb experimentation with life and the psyche, and claim that doing otherwise is cowardice? You've got things muddled and it might be because you seem to be heavily invested in the concepts on display. Not that I'm rejecting it outright, but there's too many mixed messages that probably stem from you forgetting some of the details. You can label me as fucked up, it's a label I don't really mind, but my approach has been driven by logical retaliation to each of the situations I've been dealt.

I am already alone, but this isn't actually a cry for help. There seems to be a drive to break down the theory of my personal lifestyle, and I'm happy to oblige, but the original point of the thread was to showcase some of the recent silliness I've come across. To read into it any further than that is a stretch of your own imagination. I'm not discouraging it, though, I just want to make sure that's clarified so that you can enjoy a little more breathing room. Continue your analysis if you will.

In highlighting the recent silliness you have come across you have also managed to highlight some of your own personal silliness, which is the point Squeamous is trying to make. The fact that you do not see it as silly, is down to your own self involvement, but the quintessential nub of what others are trying to say to you is how can you move on if you are still living in the past?
If it is simply the convenience of having the relationship there, even though it has become loveless, like not getting rid of the old pair of slippers even though one of the toes peeps out because you've had them for so long, then from my own point of view and probably others out there, the term emotional cowardice fits. By this I mean that if the relationship has degenerated to the point where it is truly loveless and where you find amusement in friends discomfiture at sneaking around while trying to fuck her, then why on earth are you still in the relationship/marriage/living arrangement/fucked up cohabitation?
There can be no 'new' relationship with the mouldering corpse of the old one still in the air unless you are almost completely devoid of emotion, which would preclude any real intimacy anyway. So this is where the term emotional cowardice is being applied, simply because Squeamous (and myself ) believe based on what you have posted (with the obvious caveat that you may yet again simply be trolling), that you need to sever the gangrenous limb that is your marriage if you are to move forward and have a healthy and happy beginning to another relationship, and that you are being an emotional coward in not doing so, but in clinging to the tattered remains.

[manker]

Plus won for Mary ditching the wife and starting again in an apartment that isn't predominantly beige.