Atmospherically speaking, I might suggest a change to the commencement of your opening paragraph....what you have is fine but could be enhanced and improved upon without becoming overtly descriptive....

I suggest...hmm, let me think now... "It was a dark and stormy night....."
Oh, but then you'd have to rewrite it for nighttime and the Dolphins would have to go, Dorphon wouldn't be able to see the dance of death at night, and......and......

Oh! Forget it!

You did fine for your first draft. I'd like to see some more though.

Thank you for using your spell-check (even more kudos if you're simply a good speller).....hope this practice spreads to other areas of the Forum.

mrlessk