At this precise moment in time I'm curling an imaginary one out, as it were. Sat down on the bowl yet my jeans remain pulled up, browsing on my mobile telephone.
I've come home to visit the family after quitting smoking a few months ago and since then I've become dependent on eCigs.
I've got a pretty nice set-up, a 1000mAh battery, 30ml Tank on top (wickless of course). Anywai, smokings a big no, no here after various cancer related deaths in and around t'family and even though I no longer smoke the eCig would of course raise questions and cause an equal amount of disgust. So I'm reduced to hiding it for the duration of this weekend, fleeing to the toilet when I feel the urge.
The eLiquid in question is cherry scented, due to me not being a real man and also it's fucking delightful. But the problem is it leaves behind a cherry smell.
So the problem is I'm having to excuse myself to go what they'd presume to be number 2, quite frequently. And leave in my trail a cherry scent.
There's further issues in that all this deceit is cutting into my violent masturbation time and so two days becomes an eternity.
Perhaps fake having violent fruit based diarrhea which would allow for some sobbing and shaking which of course is all part of self-abuse?
When did life become so complicated
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