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Thread: Divorced Parents

  1. #1
    With so many baby-boomers getting (or already) divorced there are a hell of a lot of people growing up with split families. This is something that a lot of kids have to go through and work out how to have relationships with both their mum and dad. Sometimes one parent is completely out of contact, but what happens if they come back? Or if both parents want to have a relationship with their children, but being divorced, don't like each other?

    Mine both said they would always love me no matter what. Only trouble is, I have the curse of loving both of them no matter what, and I know that with all the reaons for the divorce, they hate each other.

    I'm 21, and now that I'm an adult, I'm trying to work out all the other things in life as well as this, so if anyone has advise, or stories or anything helpful to say, I'd be interested.

    Cheers

  2. Lounge   -   #2
    SniperInTheShadows's Avatar Poster
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    I'm not sure if asking other peep's will be as helpful as your hoping Alex, as they can tell you what they did to get through it but in the end it's really something that you need to find a way of getting through, a way that suits you

    I could offer you my experiences but even after almost 10 year's of my parent's getting divorced i'm still not ok with it and it still affect's my life in various way's

    The main thing I can really say is that it will be with you your entire life, but try not to let it rule your life and don't think that just because your parent's had prob's that you'll end up with them as you aren't your parent's and thing's will be different for you

    Another thing that may help make it a little easier is to talk to your parent's, or to your friend's if your close enough to them and ask them if they'd mind you talking to them sometimes if your feeling bad

    I wish you all the best in dealing with this, and if I do think of anything else that may help you then i'll post again

    Sniper.

  3. Lounge   -   #3
    Cheers, its just nice to know that other people are in the same boat

  4. Lounge   -   #4
    UKMan's Avatar Poster
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    Cant really add much to Snipers post.

    But being a child of divorced parents and looking back in retrospect, just try to understand them and let them sort it out. The important thing for you is to know they still love you and that you show them you are not gonna take sides and that you love them both equally.

    Good luck
    Peace
    UKMan

  5. Lounge   -   #5
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    I'm not sure what it is you are looking for but here goes...

    my parents divorced when I was 9 and hated each other with a passion.... it was extremely hard as a child living with the constant sniping and putting each other down. It wasn't till I was about 18 that I was able to say to them both "Love you both dearly but I am sick of being in the middle of your fights.. if you have nothing nice to say about each other to me then say nothing".... or words to that affect.
    I am now 35 and live in another country away from my family, I got married last year and managed to have both parents and their partners not only at my wedding but living in my house together for a week, it had it's moments but all worked out in the end.....

    don't let yourself get lost in their divorce, and make sure you let them know that.
    <span style='color:blue'><span style='font-family:Courier'>The biggest room in the world is the room for improvement.....</span>
    <span style='color:red'><u>Don't Go Here.........</u></span></span>

  6. Lounge   -   #6
    Originally posted by Alex H@24 November 2003 - 03:50
    Cheers, its just nice to know that other people are in the same boat&nbsp;
    Alex,

    Both your parents love you, not even room for debate. The problem is between each other.

    I will tell you that despite the fact that men are concerned about "sex" and women "relationships" they are both enamored by the baby.

    You have no "curse", just a conflict.

    I will be the first to say that women are for "sex for children", but I will collapse when it comes to my own "boy/girl". Every parent loves his child although the overall relathioship may fail.
    Aren't we in the trust tree, thingey?

  7. Lounge   -   #7
    SniperInTheShadows's Avatar Poster
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    @ Alex - Yw Sometimes it&#39;s difficult to believe that other&#39;s have been through what your going through, but there alway&#39;s is someone who&#39;s been through it so you aren&#39;t alone.

    @ UKMan - Knowing how intelligent and smart you are, from having read alot of your post&#39;s, your saying that there&#39;s not much you could add to what I said doesn&#39;t make me feel as dumb as I usualy do Thank&#39;s

    @ ang3968 - Soz to hear that you had it so rough when your&#39;s went through it It&#39;s great though that you found the strength to get through it and to let them know how you felt about their putting you in the middle of it&#33; I don&#39;t know if this will mean anything to you given we don&#39;t know each other but I have alot of respect for you for taking control of your life so well

    Sniper.

  8. Lounge   -   #8
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    Originally posted by SniperInTheShadows@24 November 2003 - 13:03
    @ ang3968 - Soz to hear that you had it so rough when your&#39;s went through it It&#39;s great though that you found the strength to get through it and to let them know how you felt about their putting you in the middle of it&#33; I don&#39;t know if this will mean anything to you given we don&#39;t know each other but I have alot of respect for you for taking control of your life so well

    Sniper.
    thank you... it does mean something
    <span style='color:blue'><span style='font-family:Courier'>The biggest room in the world is the room for improvement.....</span>
    <span style='color:red'><u>Don't Go Here.........</u></span></span>

  9. Lounge   -   #9

  10. Lounge   -   #10
    Hi Alex... it&#39;s tough isn&#39;t it? My parents divorced when I was fifteen, and I didn&#39;t realise til years later how much effect it had on me. But it&#39;s just one of life&#39;s little curve balls that get thrown your way and you will deal with it. My parents have now been divorced for more than 20 years... they only ever see each other at family &#39;occasions&#39; and they get along pretty well then... but have virtually no other contact with each other.

    I have a 25 year old daughter and I was divorced when she was 6. She loves us both desperately as well.... she lived with me until she was 12 and then she went to live with her Dad. It was all very difficult and heartbreaking but we&#39;ve all come thru it. We all care about each other very much .... and in ways we still feel like a family. A lot of this will depend on your parents.... if they can not be bitter it will be much easier all round.

    My ex and I have had our bitter times ..... when she went to live with him mostly... but basically we have stayed friends and if one has a major problem in their life somehow they always seem to call the other. I hope this happens for your parents ... it&#39;s not going to be easy .... but nothing is. I hope this helps a little?

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