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Thread: Last one to post wins the internets

  1. #351
    JPaul's Avatar Fat Secret Agent
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    Mrs JP (and others) once spent a night drinking with a chap she had only been introduced to as Douglas.

    They had to part company as they were told they had to go through for the speech, an unfortunate addition to the free bar. They all agreed to return to the bar afterwards, hoping the intervening period wasn't too boring.

    She was predictably surprised when Douglas Adams was introduced to give said speech.

    Fortunately he started by telling Mrs JP that he would try not to make it too boring and that they could compare notes afterwards.

    True Story.

  2. Lounge   -   #352
    chalice's Avatar ____________________
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    Quote Originally Posted by JPaul View Post
    Mrs JP (and others) once spent a night drinking with a chap she had only been introduced to as Douglas.

    They had to part company as they were told they had to go through for the speech, an unfortunate addition to the free bar. They all agreed to return to the bar afterwards, hoping the intervening period wasn't too boring.

    She was predictably surprised when Douglas Adams was introduced to give said speech.

    Fortunately he started by telling Mrs JP that he would try not to make it too boring and that they could compare notes afterwards.

    True Story.
    Class.

  3. Lounge   -   #353
    JPaul's Avatar Fat Secret Agent
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    Quote Originally Posted by chalice View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by JPaul View Post
    Mrs JP (and others) once spent a night drinking with a chap she had only been introduced to as Douglas.

    They had to part company as they were told they had to go through for the speech, an unfortunate addition to the free bar. They all agreed to return to the bar afterwards, hoping the intervening period wasn't too boring.

    She was predictably surprised when Douglas Adams was introduced to give said speech.

    Fortunately he started by telling Mrs JP that he would try not to make it too boring and that they could compare notes afterwards.

    True Story.
    Class.
    It was even more class when she told me the story the following morning, adding that she had got me signed copies of all of the books.

    I, reasonably I thought, asked where they were. To which she replied something like "I have absolutely no idea".

    I then inquired, again perfectly reasonably to my mind, "Why the feck did you tell me that part then".

    How we laughed.

    Another True Story.

  4. Lounge   -   #354
    chalice's Avatar ____________________
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    Ha. Double class. Though it's not that funny. That poor genius is dead now.

  5. Lounge   -   #355
    JPaul's Avatar Fat Secret Agent
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    Nah, she's still alive and well mate.

    Did I tell you she finished her Open Uni thing. Got a BSc (Hons), first class no less.

    At least we know where the wean gets it from.

  6. Lounge   -   #356
    chalice's Avatar ____________________
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    Triple class to the max.

  7. Lounge   -   #357
    manker's Avatar effendi
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    Quote Originally Posted by JPaul View Post
    Nah, she's still alive and well mate.

    Did I tell you she finished her Open Uni thing. Got a BSc (Hons), first class no less.

    At least we know where the wean gets it from.
    Was it the milkman.

    I used to chide my sister that she was the fruit of our milkman's loins because she's my younger sister, I imagine everyone does that kind of thing.
    Fairly recently, my Mam told me that the milkman had sadly died. I asked my sister how she was bearing up and she shot me a look of pure hatred.
    I gave the universal shrug for 'what the fuck did I do?' and went on with my Sunday dinner.
    Later the same day it was explained to me that she got really upset each time I said it and actually believed it for a time.

    My sister, I mean, my mother always suspected that I was winding her up, one assumes.
    Point is that they waited to clue me into the havoc I was wreaking until during my fourth decade on the planet. So I'm basically blameless.
    I plan on beating him to death with his kids. I'll use them as a bludgeon on his face. -

    --Good for them if they survive.

  8. Lounge   -   #358
    Something Else's Avatar sex a wolf in a bag BT Rep: +70BT Rep +70BT Rep +70BT Rep +70BT Rep +70BT Rep +70BT Rep +70BT Rep +70BT Rep +70BT Rep +70BT Rep +70BT Rep +70BT Rep +70BT Rep +70
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    How is Womanker, or is it Mankita, or Mankini. I forget.
    Now go away.

  9. Lounge   -   #359
    manker's Avatar effendi
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    It's manketté, I guess as homage to Pierre the milk. Yeah, she's doing well after the counseling and all.
    I'll tell her you asked.
    I plan on beating him to death with his kids. I'll use them as a bludgeon on his face. -

    --Good for them if they survive.

  10. Lounge   -   #360
    Barbarossa's Avatar mostly harmless
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