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Thread: New Legs For Meg And Re-schmuck Canada Fund. Unite and Make More Matter Mean More.

  1. #391
    IdolEyes787's Avatar Persona non grata
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    I personally play the odds and avoid hospitals because they seem to be a magnet for death and disease.
    "Better to swim with sharks or dance barefoot in rattlesnake territory than go to an ER". That's not only my motto but statistically sound advice.
    Respect my lack of authority.

  2. Lounge   -   #392
    Stehle's Avatar Poster
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    Okay, Quick Update...

    You guys got me thinking... (I know very hard to do. )...

    The ex-wife and I arrive... very few cars in parking lot... (we gear up)... we enter the back way, I see five or six receptionists... it's not like a tomb, but more like a ghost town... seemingly devoid of patients... I sign waiver forms... (I used "Jimmmi Hendrix", I always use fictitious or dead people's names when signing anything the last 20 years... saved me $60K+ in USD back in '00, with a squiggly "X"" but that's another story.)

    As always, the receptionist never notices and she sez, "I'll date it". It was Friday the13th! (Now let it be known I revel in that shite.), so we make our way to the elevators out of sight...

    We each don our appropriate gear... (portable spray anti-bacterial stuff and wipes of the same ilk)... like a cigar sized tubes & pocket tissue packs elevator buttons... we were like pros, using the former to hit elevator walls and the latter to hit elevator buttons.

    Door levers were a breeze. It reminded me of and I thought of old "Strike Back's" (I swear I imagined yelling "CLEAR!" at every door or corner!)... but didn't.

    The doc's and their PA tell me were finishing the RIGHT side again, but painfully this time! (The PA notices quickly notices my signature this time... I think games up!... WAIT!... He nods and gives me a quick wink!

    They treated me like royalty after that... pumping me so full of Xanax and they ask me can I still talk? Why? (I'll find out 30 minutes later.)

    I hear in the background how all their patients opted out, or rescheduled because it was Friday the13th... 30 minutes later...

    Doctor's Frankenstein hit me with electrodes! They zap me repeatedly... "can you feel that? YES! .... how about that? NO! (Picture a T.E.N.S. Unit set on high if you've felt them before.)

    30 minutes later the PA has me in a wheelchair rolling me out, he does all the touching shite, so the ex and I are totally safe.

    (I still am a bit groggy at this point... chin down and stuff.) Only one other patient ever seen. He asked us the date.

    He helps me in the passenger side of the car were I notice he's been hiding a small bag. Hmm...

    He says, "For sleepy time if you need any this weekend... Jimmy!" and smiles.



    (The way home... Samples... full of small boxes, blister packs and the like. I recognized them all!)

    I have 2 more procedures for the LEFT side, 1 wimpy like before and 1 electrifying like yesterday. All ore-approved about 2 weeks apart.

    Can't Wait!


    I truly hope this other stuff burns out by then.
    “Life has become immeasurably better since I have been forced to stop taking it seriously.” ― Hunter S. Thompson

  3. Lounge   -   #393
    Stehle's Avatar Poster
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    Quote Originally Posted by megabyteme View Post
    You guys really know how to hijack a thread


    May you both get the machines that go *'ping'*!
    It did go *PING* ...hope we both did good. Thanks for the loaner Meg.

    (Yet... so did I!)
    Last edited by Stehle; 03-14-2020 at 05:21 PM. Reason: 'nuff said.
    “Life has become immeasurably better since I have been forced to stop taking it seriously.” ― Hunter S. Thompson

  4. Lounge   -   #394
    Stehle's Avatar Poster
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    Quote Originally Posted by IdolEyes787 View Post
    I personally play the odds and avoid hospitals because they seem to be a magnet for death and disease.
    "Better to swim with sharks or dance barefoot in rattlesnake territory than go to an ER". That's not only my motto but statistically sound advice.
    It is... yesterday was a fluke* for me.

    (Does dispatching 6' alligators about 3ft from your house count?)

    *Btw... that's also a very tasty fish.
    Last edited by Stehle; 03-14-2020 at 05:34 PM. Reason: 'nuff said.
    “Life has become immeasurably better since I have been forced to stop taking it seriously.” ― Hunter S. Thompson

  5. Lounge   -   #395
    megabyteme's Avatar RASPBERRY RIPPLE BT Rep: +19BT Rep +19BT Rep +19BT Rep +19
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    You escaped every virus *but*... the ones that have been on that wheelchair long enough to become sentient. Your backside is now more nearly as infected than as Idol's...

    Congrats on another successful round. You got this, Jimmy!

    I got irritated with work again and took another 6 days off.
    Quote Originally Posted by IdolEyes787 View Post
    Ghey lumberjacks, wolverines, blackflies in the summer, polar bears in the winter, that's basically Canada in a nutshell.

  6. Lounge   -   #396
    Stehle's Avatar Poster
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    Quote Originally Posted by megabyteme View Post
    You escaped every virus *but*... the ones that have been on that wheelchair long enough to become sentient. Your backside is now more nearly as infected than as Idol's...

    Congrats on another successful round. You got this, Jimmy!

    I got irritated with work again and took another 6 days off.
    You are so... BAD! ...don't forget they wiped it down with that anti-bacterial juju ex saw to that.. remember I was out of it.

    (Momma always told me there is one in every crowd and she was right.)


    You'll get paid I here.
    “Life has become immeasurably better since I have been forced to stop taking it seriously.” ― Hunter S. Thompson

  7. Lounge   -   #397
    j2k4's Avatar en(un)lightened
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    Whenever you're referring to these sorts of "identity" issues, it's helpful to be more specific, so one can tailor one's laughter appropriately.
    "Researchers have already cast much darkness on the subject, and if they continue their investigations, we shall soon know nothing at all about it."

    -Mark Twain

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