A Bit Of A Laugh

[baccyman]

they only count as one post . you will notice that my post count is 81 . and i don't want to spoil you by posting everything at once . hope that you all enjoy them

[baccyman]

First-year students at Med School were receiving their first anatomy class with a real dead human body. They all gathered around the surgery table with the body covered with a white sheet.
The professor started the class by telling them, "In medicine, it is necessary to have 2 important qualities as a doctor. The first is that you not be disgusted by anything involving the human body."

For an example, the Professor pulled back the sheet, stuck his finger in the butt of the corpse, withdrew it and stuck his finger in his mouth. "Go ahead and do the same thing," he told his students.

The students freaked out, hesitated for several minutes, but eventually took turns sticking a finger in the butt of the dead body and sucking on it. When everyone had finished, the Professor looked at them and told them, "The second most important quality is observation. I stuck in my middle finger and sucked on my index finger. Now learn to pay attention."

[scribblec]

keep em coming mate and dont listen to that noob sayong bout post count!!

[baccyman]

Miss Bea was in her eighties, and much admired for her sweetness and kindness to all.
The pastor came to call on her one afternoon early in the spring, and she welcomed him into her Victorian parlor. She invited him to have a seat while she prepared a little tea.

As he sat facing her old pump organ, the young minister noticed a cut glass bowl sitting on top of it, filled with water. In the water floated, of all things, a condom.

Imagine his shock and surprise. Imagine his curiosity! Surely Miss Bea had flipped or something...! But he certainly couldn't mention the strange sight in her parlor.

When she returned with tea and cookies, they began to chat. The pastor tried to stifle his curiosity about the bowl of water and its strange floater, but soon it got the better of him, and he could resist no longer.

"Miss Bea," he said, pointing to the bowl, "I wonder if you would tell me about this?"

"Oh, yes," she replied, "isn't it wonderful? I was walking downtown last fall and I found this little package. It said to put it on the organ, keep it wet, and it would prevent disease. And you know... I haven't had a cold all winter!"

[baccyman]

In the 16th and 17th centuries, everything had to be transported by ship. It was also before commercial fertilizer's invention, so large shipments of manure were common. It was shipped dry, because in dry form it weighed a lot less than when wet. But once water (at sea) hit it, it not only became heavier, but the process of fermentation began again, of which a by-product is methane gas.
As the stuff was stored below decks in bundles you can see what could (and did) happen. Methane began to build up below decks and the first time someone came below at night with a lantern, BOOOOM!

Several ships were destroyed in this manner before it was determined just what was happening. After that, the bundles of manure were always stamped with the term "Ship High In Transport" on them which meant for the sailors to stow it high enough off the lower decks so that any water that came into the hold would not touch this volatile cargo and start the production of methane.

Thus evolved the term "S.H.I.T ", (Ship High In Transport) which has come down through the centuries and is in use to this very day.

You probably did not know the true history of this word. Neither did I. I always thought it was a golf term.

[baccyman]

A salesman, who is getting ready for his next trip, asks his wife to include a condom in his suitcase. His wife instantly asks "Why?"
He replies, "Just a reminder if I want to try something different."

She grabs a bar of soap, drops it into one of his socks, swings it in the air, and WHAM!!! swings it up between his legs.

After much pain, and gathering his composure, he asks, "Why the hell did you do that?"

She replies, "Just a reminder if you want to try something different."

[baccyman]

A man and his wife got into bed for the night. The wife had curled up ready for sleep and the husband put his bed lamp on to read a book. As he was reading, he stopped and reached over to his wife and started fondling her pussy. He did this only for a very short while then stopped and went back to reading his book.

The wife got up and started stripping in front of him. The husband was confused and asked, "What the hell are doing, taking all your jammies off?" The wife replied, "You were playing with my pussy. I thought it was foreplay for
something a bit heavier".

The husband said, "Hell no! I was just wetting my fingers so I could turn the pages.

[baccyman]

The Pope was finishing his sermon. He ended it with the Latin phrase "Tuti Homini" .... Blessed be Mankind.
A woman's rights group approached the Pope the next day to mention that he blessed all Mankind but not Womankind.

The next day, after His sermon, the Pope concluded by saying, "Tuti Homini, et Tuti Femini" .... Blessed be Mankind and Womankind.

The next day a gay-rights group approached the Pope. They said they noticed that he blessed mankind and womankind, and asked if he could also bless gay people. The Pope said, "Of course."

The next day the Pope concluded his sermon with, "Tuti Homini, et Tuti Femini, et Tuti Fruiti."

[baccyman]

Announcement from Pfizer:
Pfizer Corp. announced today that VIAGRA will soon be available in liquid form and will be marketed by Pepsi Cola as a power beverage suitable for use as a mixer. It will now be possible for a man to literally pour himself a stiff one. Obviously we can no longer call this a soft drink, and it gives new meaning to the names of "cocktails", "highballs" and just a good old fashioned "stiff drink".

Pepsi will market the new concoction by the name of: "MOUNT & DO.

[baccyman]

A blonde got a dent in her car and took it in to the repair shop. The repairman, noticing that the woman was a blonde, decided to have a wee bit of fun. So he told her that all she had to was take it home and blow in the tailpipe until the dent popped itself out.
After 15 minutes of this, the blonde's blonde friend came over and asked what she was doing. "I'm trying to pop out this dent, but it's not really working."

"Duh. You have to roll up the windows first!"