A Bit Of A Laugh

[cpt_azad]

Q. How many Freudian analysts does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A. Two, one to screw in the light bulb and one to hold my penis, I mean the ladder.


LMFAO

we all lost postcounts and got demoted, but it doesn't matter, because at the end of the day Baccyman and Hippychick are the 2 most important members of this forum (my opinion, not yours, admit it, without these 2 people this forum would be so dead).

now:

q: how many damned apes does it take to screw in a light bulb?
a: 100. 1 to screw the light bulb in, and 99 to throw feces at each other!

LMFAO, family guy kicks ass.

[hobbes]

Bunny Farts

Bunnies don't fart

Reported!

[cpt_azad]

Bunnies don't fart

Reported!

grumpy old bastard, reported





















joke

[baccyman]

Do you know why Noah didn’t fish very often?
He only had two worms.



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AMNESIA: Condition that enables a woman who has gone through labour to make love again.
DUMBWAITER: One who asks if the kids would care to order dessert.

FAMILY PLANNING: The art of spacing your children the proper distance apart to keep you on the edge of financial disaster.

FEEDBACK: The inevitable result when your baby doesn't appreciate the strained carrots.

FULL NAME: What you call your child when you're mad at him.

GRANDPARENTS: The people who think your children are wonderful even though they're sure you're not raising them right.

HEARSAY: What toddlers do when anyone mutters a dirty word.

IMPREGNABLE: A woman whose memory of labor is still vivid.

INDEPENDENT: How we want our children to be as long as they do everything we say.

POW: The first word spoken by children with older siblings.

PUDDLE: A small body of water that draws other small bodies wearing dry clothes into it.

SHOW OFF: A child who is more talented than yours.

STERILIZE: What you do to your first baby's pacifier by boiling it and to your last baby's pacifier by blowing on it.

TOP BUNK: Where you should never put a child wearing Superman pajamas.

TWO MINUTE WARNING: When the baby's face turns red and she begins to make those familiar grunting noises.

VERBAL: Able to whine in words.

WHODUNIT: None of the kids that live in your house..

WEEKEND: When Dad gets to play golf while Mom catches up on the laundry, cleans the house, runs errands, etc.

[Shiranai_Baka]

Do you know why Noah didn’t fish very often?
He only had two worms.

LOL thats a good one

[baccyman]

A man met a beautiful lady and he decided he wanted to marry her right away. She protested, "But we don't know anything about each other."He replied, "That's all right; we'll learn about each other as we go along." So she consented, and they were married, and went on a honeymoon to a very nice resort.
One morning, they were lying by the pool when he got up off his towel, climbed up to the 10 meter board and did a two and a half tuck gainer, entering the water perfectly, almost without a ripple. This was followed by a three rotations in jackknife position before he again straightened out and cut the water like a knife. After a few more demonstrations, he came back and lay down on his towel.

She said, "That was incredible!"

He said, "I used to be an Olympic diving champion. You see, I told you we'd learn more about ourselves as we went along."

So she got up, jumped in the pool and started doing laps. She was moving so fast that the froth from her pushing off at one end of the pool would hardly be gone before she was already touching the other end of the pool. She did laps in freestyle, breast stroke, even butterfly!

After about thirty laps, completed in mere minutes, she climbed back out and lay down on her towel, barely breathing hard.

He said, "That was incredible! Were you an Olympic endurance swimmer?" "No, she said, 'I was a hooker in Memphis and I worked both sides of the Mississippi River."



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A young Japanese girl had been taught all of her life that when she married she was to please her husband and never upset him. So the first morning of her honeymoon when the young Japanese bride crawled out of the bed after making love and she stooped down to pick up her husband's clothes and she let out a big fart.
She looked up and said, "Excuse please, front hole so happy back hole whistle!"

[baccyman]

I need some advice on what could be a life changing decision.

I've suspected for some time now that my girlfriend has been having an affair. The usual signs. Phone rings, I answer, someone hangs up.
She started going out 'with the girls' a lot recently although when I ask which girls it is always "Just some friends from work, you don't know them".
I always look out for her taxi coming home but she always walks down the drive although I can hear a car setting off. As if she has got out of the car round the corner. Why? Is it not a taxi?
I once picked her mobile up just to see what time it was and she went beserk and screamed that I should never touch her phone again and why was I checking up on her.

Anyway, I have never approached the subject with my g/f. I think deep downI just didn't want to know the truth but last night she went out again and I decided to check on her.
I decided I was going to hide behind my car which would give me a veiw of the whole street so I could see which car she gets out of. It was whilst crouched behind my car that I noticed rust around my rear wheel arch.

Should I take it into a body repair shop or should I buy some stuff and try to repair it myself?

[hippychick]

LOL Baccy you got me there...I was like awww poor guy and ready to kick your GF butt for ya.

[baccyman]

A young lady comes home from a date rather upset. She tells her mother, "Lenny proposed to me an hour ago." "Then why are you sad?" her mother asks. "Because he also told me he is an atheist," the girl responds. "Mom, he doesn’t even believe there’s a hell." Her mother replies, "Marry him anyway. Between the two of us, we’ll show him how wrong he is."

[cpt_azad]

A young lady comes home from a date rather upset. She tells her mother, "Lenny proposed to me an hour ago." "Then why are you sad?" her mother asks. "Because he also told me he is an atheist," the girl responds. "Mom, he doesn’t even believe there’s a hell." Her mother replies, "Marry him anyway. Between the two of us, we’ll show him how wrong he is."