A Bit Of A Laugh

[baccyman]

A blonde is sitting at home one day when she decides she's sick of hearing all those blonde jokes, so she decides to dye her hair brown. To see if it works, she goes to a farm.
She walks up to the farmer and says, "If I can guess how many sheep you have, can I take one home?"

The farmer kinda chuckles to himself, and then replies, "Sure, why not?"

The blonde pulls out a calculator and does a whole bunch of calculus and trig equations and comes up with a number. She says to the farmer, "There are 314 sheep out there."

The farmer looks at her with a shocked expression and says, "You're right! Go take your pick".

The blonde takes a few minutes to pick a sheep, waves to the farmer, and leaves.

She's sitting at home the next day when she hears a knock on her front door. She opens it and finds the farmer standing there, holding his hat. He says to her, "If I can guess your real hair color, can I have my dog back?"

[hippychick]

A blonde is sitting at home one day when she decides she's sick of hearing all those blonde jokes, so she decides to dye her hair brown. To see if it works, she goes to a farm.
She walks up to the farmer and says, "If I can guess how many sheep you have, can I take one home?"

The farmer kinda chuckles to himself, and then replies, "Sure, why not?"

The blonde pulls out a calculator and does a whole bunch of calculus and trig equations and comes up with a number. She says to the farmer, "There are 314 sheep out there."

The farmer looks at her with a shocked expression and says, "You're right! Go take your pick".

The blonde takes a few minutes to pick a sheep, waves to the farmer, and leaves.

She's sitting at home the next day when she hears a knock on her front door. She opens it and finds the farmer standing there, holding his hat. He says to her, "If I can guess your real hair color, can I have my dog back?"

LOL and I told him "hell no" and I kept the dog...

[cpt_azad]

LOL and I told him "hell no" and I kept the dog...

lol

[baccyman]

A guy walks into a shrink's office complaining of trouble with women. The shrinks asks him what he looks for in a woman, and the guy replies, "Big tits."
The shrink says, "No, I meant for a serious relationship."

The guy replies, "Oh, seriously big tits."

"No, no, no. I mean what do you look for in the one woman you want to spend the rest of your life with?"

The doctor looked kind of worried as the guy sat there on his couch laughing... "Spend the rest of my life with one woman? No woman's tits are that big!"



--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Several years ago, the Catholic Church required women to wear a head covering in order to enter the sanctuary. One Sunday a lady arrived without her head covering. The priest informs her that she cannot enter without it.
So she leaves and a few moments later the lady comes back wearing a brassiere tied to her head. And it is abundantly obvious from the bouncing and giggling where the brassiere came from. The shocked priest says, "Madam, I cannot allow you to enter this holy place without wearing a brassiere."

"But Father, I have a divine right," she informs.

"Yes, I see. And your left one isn't bad either, but you still cannot enter THIS church like that!"

[cpt_azad]

A guy walks into a shrink's office complaining of trouble with women. The shrinks asks him what he looks for in a woman, and the guy replies, "Big tits."
The shrink says, "No, I meant for a serious relationship."

The guy replies, "Oh, seriously big tits."

"No, no, no. I mean what do you look for in the one woman you want to spend the rest of your life with?"

The doctor looked kind of worried as the guy sat there on his couch laughing... "Spend the rest of my life with one woman? No woman's tits are that big!"

[baccyman]

A lady walks into a sex store and says to the salesman, "Where are the dildos?"
The clerk points and says, "On the wall over there."

She looks and says, "I want one of the red ones."

The salesman says, "No, lady. The dildos are the ones next to the fire extinguisher."



--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Alex was a sports fan whose face was always either buried in the sports pages or transfixed by the television screen. One night as he lay in bed next to his wife watching a football game, she got up, walked across the room and unplugged the TV.
"Hey," Alex shouted, "what do you think you are doing?"

"I’m sick of sports, I’m sick of TV," she replied. "You haven’t touched me in months. We’re going to talk about sex right now!"

"OK, OK. So," he asked after a moment, "how often do you think Brett Favre gets laid?"

[cpt_azad]

lol

[ilw]

Just thought i'd say thanks baccyman, I read your additions most days and i think i've read the entire thread (i'm not gonna go back and check )
Cheers for the effort you put in

[Rat Faced]

A lady walks into a sex store and says to the salesman, "Where are the dildos?"
The clerk points and says, "On the wall over there."

She looks and says, "I want one of the red ones."

The salesman says, "No, lady. The dildos are the ones next to the fire extinguisher."



--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Alex was a sports fan whose face was always either buried in the sports pages or transfixed by the television screen. One night as he lay in bed next to his wife watching a football game, she got up, walked across the room and unplugged the TV.
"Hey," Alex shouted, "what do you think you are doing?"

"I’m sick of sports, I’m sick of TV," she replied. "You haven’t touched me in months. We’re going to talk about sex right now!"

"OK, OK. So," he asked after a moment, "how often do you think Brett Favre gets laid?"

[cpt_azad]

Just thought i'd say thanks baccyman, I read your additions most days and i think i've read the entire thread (i'm not gonna go back and check )
Cheers for the effort you put in

same here, i've read all the pages since day 1 of this thread, baccyman ur da best