A Bit Of A Laugh

[whitesnake]

haha

[bigboab]

A man who thought he was John the Baptist was disturbing the neighborhood, so for public safety, he was committed. He was put in a room with another crazy and immediately began his routine, "I am John The Baptist! Jesus Christ has sent me!"
The other guy looks at him and declares, "I did *not*!"

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Doctor : "What is three times three?"
Person 1 : 274
The doctor rolls his eyes and looks up at the ceiling, and asks the second man, "It's your turn. What is three times three?"
Person 2 :"Tuesday,"
The doctor shakes his head sadly, then asks the third man, "Okay, your turn. What's three times three?"
Person 3 : "Nine"
Doctor : "That's great! How did you get that?"
Person 3 : "Simple just subtract 274 from Tuesday."

[kaustav]

1 year has 365 days.
if Tuesday was the 291st day, then that mans good at maths, and remembering dates. Microsoft could use him.
3 years between xp and vista is not the same as the time between xp and the last 1, of course people LOVE xp now. And yet it sucks.

[saleem1090]

Freshman Guide to Bra Removal

OBJECTIVE
To disengage said bra without looking like an idiot.
WHAT YOU NEED
1) Girl with bra
2) Two functional hands
3) Common Sense

TECHNIQUES
1) THE HOUDINI HUG -- Using sleight-of-hand, place arms around girl and unhook bra. Try to refrain from saying, "Ta-da!"
2) MCGYVER'S OFF-THE-SHOULDER SLIDE -- An alternative method to use after ten minutes of unsuccessful hugging.
3) HILTON'S LAST RESORT -- Beg like a dog and learn to absorb the harsh sound of wicked laughter.

DO NOT USE: scissors, blowtorch, pliers, wire strippers, cutlery, Black Magic, staple remover, chainsaw, brute strength, CB4, set of lock picks, or chisel and hammer.

WARNING: When removing a bra you should not say the following:
1) "I really want to thank you for this."
2) "Dammit! I thought they were bigger."
3) "Do you have any cereal?"