A Bit Of A Laugh

[cpt_azad]

The closest one is in the gas station three blocks down the street

lmao keep em coming

[baccyman]

Now that food has replaced sex in my life,
I can't even get into my own pants.


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I got a sweater for Christmas.
I really wanted a screamer or a moaner.


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A good friend will come and bail you out of jail...
but, a true friend will be sitting next to you saying, "Damn...that was fun!"-


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Everybody knows that no matter how much you're in love when you get married, at one point or another the honeymoon is over. That's when the excuses start. I've used them, you've used them and believe it or not, my wife has used them. Following is a top ten list of some of the best excuses to get out of having sex with your significant other.
10. I'd love to honey, but I just banged your sister.

9. We're out of paper bags for your head again.

8. You haven't shaved in so long I'm afraid I'd feel I was making love to Big Foot.

7. You're 20 bucks short.

6. We're out of gin again.

5. I used my last sponge for the dishes.

4. Sorry, this isn't a conjugal visit.

3. I can't tonight, honey, I spent myself earlier today watching all those pornos.

2. Only if you put on this wig and talk like a Chinese hooker.

And the number 1 excuse to not have sex with your wife:

1. Your gynecologist just called - you still have crabs and you know how I don't like seafood.

[baccyman]

A young man was in the backyard fooling around with his new girlfriend on a very dark night.
After a short time, he offered to go down on her.... and she gladly dropped her knickers.

About 20 minutes later, he looked up at her with his glazed face and said, "I really like you a lot, but you have the hairiest crotch I've ever eaten!"

"I'm not surprised that you feel that way," she said. "You've been eating the lawn for the last five minutes!"



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A firefighter is working outside the station when he notices a little girl in a little red wagon with little ladders on the sides, a garden hose coiled in the middle, and wearing a firefighter's helmet. The wagon is being pulled by her dog and her cat.
The firefighter takes a closer look. "That sure is a nice fire-truck," the fire fighter says with admiration.

"Thanks," the girl says.

The firefighter notices the girl has tied the wagon to her dog's collar and to the cat's testicles.

"Little Partner," the firefighter says, "I don't want to tell you how to run your rig, but if you were to tie that rope around the cat's collar, I think you could go faster."

The little girl replies thoughtfully, "You're probably right, but... then I wouldn't have a siren.

[baccyman]

Two girlfriends were speeding down the highway at well over 98 mph. "Hey," asked the brunette at the wheel "Any cops following us?" The blonde turned around and had a long look at the road behind them. "Yeah, looks like it" "Are his flashers on?" The blonde turned around again......
Lemme see.... "Yup....nope....yup....nope....yup....nope....yup..."



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Jenny's husband, Charley, was a male chauvinist. Even though they both worked full-time, he never helped around the house. Housework was woman's work!
But one evening Jenny arrived home from work to find the children bathed one load of clothes in the washer and another in the dryer, dinner on the stove, and the table set. She was astonished--something's up.

It turns out that Charley had read an article that said wives who worked full-time and had to do their own housework were too tired to be romantic. The night went well and the next day she told her office friends all about it.

"We had a great dinner. Charley even cleaned up. He helped the kids do their homework, folded all the laundry and put everything away. I really enjoyed the evening."

"But what about afterward?" asked her friends. "Oh, that was perfect too. Charley was too tired!"



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A man walks into the dentist's office and after the examination the dentist says, "that tooth has to come out. I'm going to give you a shot of Novocain and I'll be back in a few minutes."
The man grabs the doc's arm, "No way. I hate needles I'm not having any shot!"

So the dentist says, "okay, we'll have to go with the gas."

The man replies, "Absolutely not. It makes me very sick for a couple of days. I'm not having gas."

So the dentist steps out and comes back with a glass of water, "here," he says. "Take this pill."

The man asks "What is it?"

The doc replies, "Viagra."

The man looks surprised, "will that kill the pain?" he asks.

"No," replies the dentist, "but it will give you something to hang on to while I pull your tooth!"

[100%]

Who posted in: A Bit Of A Laugh
Poster Posts
baccy_man 441
Autumn Fox 24
ROSSCO_2004 12
cpt_azad 10
scribblec 4
ashutosh_cool16 4
zinc1 3
Bowen747x 3
bujub22 3
barbarossa 2
Mat_At_Home 2
Rip The Jacker 2
j4y3m 2
vivitron 15 2
Aurora 1
Prince of Darkness 1
Wolfmight 1
Voetsek 1
PauDoce 1
Infested Cats 1
sir waffle 1
teju2k 1
Rotten_Apple 1
ziggyjuarez 1
Mr. Elmo 1
Homme 1
jetje 1
twister203 1
test2speed 1
RGX 1
free2bp2p 1
danyj 1
h121589 1
destroyerofevil 1
FuNkY CaPrIcOrN 1
Neo 721 1
spazola 1
Fruden 1
dark_shadow_133 1
[B][O][T] 1
Dray_04 1
virusgenerator 1
solarmax 1
Radical0822 1

[Autumn Fox]

Originally posted by Zedaxax@17 June 2004 - 13:59
[b] Who posted in: A Bit Of A Laugh
Poster Posts
baccy_man 441
Autumn Fox 24
ROSSCO_2004 12
cpt_azad 10
scribblec 4
ashutosh_cool16 4
zinc1 3
Bowen747x 3
bujub22 3
barbarossa 2
Mat_At_Home 2
Rip The Jacker 2
j4y3m 2
vivitron 15 2
Aurora 1
Prince of Darkness 1
Wolfmight 1
Voetsek 1
PauDoce 1
Infested Cats 1
sir waffle 1
teju2k 1
Rotten_Apple 1
ziggyjuarez 1
Mr. Elmo 1
Homme 1
jetje 1
twister203 1
test2speed 1
RGX 1
free2bp2p 1
danyj 1
h121589 1
destroyerofevil 1
FuNkY CaPrIcOrN 1
Neo 721 1
spazola 1
Fruden 1
dark_shadow_133 1
[O][T] 1
Dray_04 1
virusgenerator 1
solarmax 1
Radical0822 1

[baccyman]

Originally posted by Zedaxax@17 June 2004 - 14:59
[b] Who posted in: A Bit Of A Laugh
Poster Posts
baccy_man 441
Autumn Fox 24
ROSSCO_2004 12
cpt_azad 10
scribblec 4
ashutosh_cool16 4
zinc1 3
Bowen747x 3
bujub22 3
barbarossa 2
Mat_At_Home 2
Rip The Jacker 2
j4y3m 2
vivitron 15 2
Aurora 1
Prince of Darkness 1
Wolfmight 1
Voetsek 1
PauDoce 1
Infested Cats 1
sir waffle 1
teju2k 1
Rotten_Apple 1
ziggyjuarez 1
Mr. Elmo 1
Homme 1
jetje 1
twister203 1
test2speed 1
RGX 1
free2bp2p 1
danyj 1
h121589 1
destroyerofevil 1
FuNkY CaPrIcOrN 1
Neo 721 1
spazola 1
Fruden 1
dark_shadow_133 1
[O][T] 1
Dray_04 1
virusgenerator 1
solarmax 1
Radical0822 1

you forgot yourself

[tesco]

Originally posted by Zedaxax@17 June 2004 - 08:59
[b] Who posted in: A Bit Of A Laugh
Poster Posts
baccy_man 441
Autumn Fox 24
ROSSCO_2004 12
cpt_azad 10
scribblec 4
ashutosh_cool16 4
zinc1 3
Bowen747x 3
bujub22 3
barbarossa 2
Mat_At_Home 2
Rip The Jacker 2
j4y3m 2
vivitron 15 2
Aurora 1
Prince of Darkness 1
Wolfmight 1
Voetsek 1
PauDoce 1
Infested Cats 1
sir waffle 1
teju2k 1
Rotten_Apple 1
ziggyjuarez 1
Mr. Elmo 1
Homme 1
jetje 1
twister203 1
test2speed 1
RGX 1
free2bp2p 1
danyj 1
h121589 1
destroyerofevil 1
FuNkY CaPrIcOrN 1
Neo 721 1
spazola 1
Fruden 1
dark_shadow_133 1
[O][T] 1
Dray_04 1
virusgenerator 1
solarmax 1
Radical0822 1

Did you actually go through the list and count how many times each person posted? or is their something u click to sort them or something lol.?

[100%]

Click on the XXXnumber of Replies on the front page to the right of the topic

in this case 537 or something

[tesco]

baccy_man 442
Autumn Fox 25
ROSSCO_2004 13
cpt_azad 10
scribblec 4
ashutosh_cool16 4
zinc1 3
Bowen747x 3
bujub22 3
barbarossa 2
Rip The Jacker 2
Mat_At_Home 2
vivitron 15 2
j4y3m 2
Zedaxax 2
Fruden 1
dark_shadow_133 1
[B][O][T] 1
Dray_04 1
virusgenerator 1
solarmax 1
Radical0822 1
Infested Cats 1
Aurora 1
Prince of Darkness 1
Wolfmight 1
Voetsek 1
PauDoce 1
sir waffle 1
teju2k 1
Rotten_Apple 1
ziggyjuarez 1
jetje 1
Mr. Elmo 1
Homme 1
FuNkY CaPrIcOrN 1
twister203 1
test2speed 1
RGX 1
free2bp2p 1
danyj 1
h121589 1
destroyerofevil 1
Neo 721 1
spazola 1

Thanks.