A Bit Of A Laugh

[cpt_azad]

lmao, stick that tree up your ass

[baccyman]

A man is driving home late one Halloween night and is feeling very horny. As he is passing a pumpkin patch, his mind starts to wander. He thinks to himself, you know a pumpkin is soft and squishy inside, and there is no one around here for miles.
He pulls over to the side of the road, picks out a nice juicy looking pumpkin, cuts the appropriate size hole in it, and begins to screw the pumpkin. After a while he is really into it, and doesn't notice the police car pulling up.

The cop walks over and says, "Excuse me sir, but do you realize that you are screwing a pumpkin?"

The man looks at the cop in complete horror, thinks fast and says, "A pumpkin? Is it midnight already?"



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A dentist was getting ready to clean an elderly lady's teeth. He noticed that she was a little nervous, so he began to tell her a story as he was putting on his surgical gloves...
"Do you know how they make these rubber gloves?"

"No," she said.

"Well," spoofed the dentist, "down in Mexico they have this big building set up with a large tank of latex, and the workers are all picked according to hand size. Each individual walks up to the tank, dips their hands in, and then walk around for a bit while the latex sets up and dries right onto their hands! Then they peel off the gloves and throw them into the big 'Finished Goods Crate' and start the process all over again."

The old woman just sat there and didn't laugh a bit!

Five minutes later, during the procedure, the dentist had to stop cleaning her teeth because she burst out laughing.

The old woman blushed and exclaimed, "I just suddenly thought about how they must make condoms!"

[baccyman]

Two Arab terrorists are in a locker room taking a shower after their bomb making class, when one notices the other has a huge cork stuck in his butt.
"If you do not mind me saying," said the second, "that cork looks very uncomfortable. Why do you not take it out?"

"I regret I cannot", la mented the first Arab. "It is permanently stuck in my butt."

"I do not understand," said the other.

The first Arab says, "I was walking along the beach and I tripped over an oil lamp. There was a puff of smoke, and then a huge old man in an American flag attire with a white beard and top hat came boiling out. He said, 'I am Uncle Sam, the Genie. I can grant you one wish.'"

I said, "No shit?"

God Bless America!



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Three guys and a woman are stuck in an elevator. While they are stuck they strike up a conversation.
The first guy says, "I'm a Y.U.P.P.I.E you know.... Young, urban, professional, peacefull, intelligent, ecologist."

The second guy says, "I'm a D.I.N.K.Y, you know... Double Income, No kids, Yet!"

The third guy says. "I'm a R.U.B, you know.... Rich, Urban , Biker."

They turn to the woman and ask her , "What are you?"

She replies: "I'm a W.I.F.E., you know.... Wash, Iron, F*ck, Etc.."

[cpt_azad]

She replies: "I'm a W.I.F.E., you know.... Wash, Iron, F*ck, Etc.."

hahahahahhahahhahaha

[whip22]

more more more!

[Lindsay<3]

haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahaaaaaaaaaaaaaahaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Sweetiepie]

[tehrani20]

Very Funy more please

[peat moss]

Why you never question a drunk................

I was shopping at the local supermarket where I selected the following
A litre of milk
A carton of eggs
A carton of orange juice
A 250 gram package of bacon
A head of lettuce
A 1 kilo can of coffee
As I was unloading my items on the conveyor belt to check out, a
drunk standing behind me watched as I placed the items in front of the Cashier.
While the cashier was ringing up the purchases, the drunk calmly stated, 'You must be single.'
I was a bit startled by this proclamation, but I was intrigued by
the derelict's intuition, since I was indeed single. I looked at the
six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about my
selections that could have tipped off the drunk to my marital status.
Curiosity getting the better of me, I said: 'Well, you know what,
you're absolutely right. But how on earth did you know that?'
The drunk replied, 'Cause you're ugly.'

[petra1210]

Why you never question a drunk................

I was shopping at the local supermarket where I selected the following
A litre of milk
A carton of eggs
A carton of orange juice
A 250 gram package of bacon
A head of lettuce
A 1 kilo can of coffee
As I was unloading my items on the conveyor belt to check out, a
drunk standing behind me watched as I placed the items in front of the Cashier.
While the cashier was ringing up the purchases, the drunk calmly stated, 'You must be single.'
I was a bit startled by this proclamation, but I was intrigued by
the derelict's intuition, since I was indeed single. I looked at the
six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about my
selections that could have tipped off the drunk to my marital status.
Curiosity getting the better of me, I said: 'Well, you know what,
you're absolutely right. But how on earth did you know that?'
The drunk replied, 'Cause you're ugly.'

yeah so true, drunk ppl r crazy