Eeeekkkk!

[Honey]

Originally posted by JONNO_CELEBS@2 December 2003 - 21:47
@Andie and Honey.......Please please please don't take this the wrong way cos you know I luvs ya's

I don't think it's our place to tell lilmiss to leave her b/f, I think all we should do is offer her support, it's not right to tell people what to do, if she needs to leave him then it should be 100% her desicion.....so can we please not be saying these things?

Sorry if I'm wrong, just my opinion

Jonno B)

Jonno babe ... luv you too... but not once did i tell lilmiss to leave her b/f... just said what I would do...

comes down to choices, what means the most to you

i cant see anything wrong with that... my choices are mine... her choices are hers...

nuff said...

[JONNO_CELEBS]

Sowwee

Just seems in a round about type of way thats what you're all saying, probably just me reading it wrong..........I am a bloke

Jonno B)

[ang3968]

I can see your point Jonno.....

but....(aint there always a but)

the guy im with is a drunken, stoney, ungrateful bitch, who doesnt treat me right or give me affection.

it's hard not to say leave him if this is the way she feels.... she can and should do better....

from what I have read of her posts she is a lovely, fun, outgoing, sweet angel with a devil sitting there on her shoulder to have fun with so why put up with that???


then again... I can say some pretty yucky things when I get cranky with the ones I love the most...and not always mean it....
it's called a woman's prerogative

[Rat Faced]

Originally posted by hobbes@2 December 2003 - 01:40
Male friends have no problem hanging out with female friends and their boyfriends if the bf is "cool" (treating you right). But we can see right through the bullshit because we know how other men think. We can spot the abusive relationship and the emotionally torn female in a heartbeat.

I think your friends see smoke and are trying to drag you kicking and screaming from a fire you cannot perceive.

The only real bit of information lacking here is whether your male friends are true friends or are "suitors waiting in the wings". Each looking to be the hero and rescue from your current bf, in hopes that you will finally show him the attention which he has been desiring for so long.

Tips: If your friends are always picking on all your boyfriends, even if you have made no complaint about him (like a fight which made you cry). If you explain to them that your boyfriend is nice and treats you well and they keep looking to hen-pecking, they might have ulterior motives.

When Harry Meet Sally is a rather accurate film. Men do not have female friends that they do not find attractive.

I agree with everything except the end sentence..

I have lots of female friends, some are attractive and some arent.



lillmiss, it may not seem like it now....but your lucky to have friends that care enough that they will leave their comfort zone without even being asked, in order to try and help you.

They may be wrong in some peoples eyes, but they obviously care.

[Honey]

ack Jonno... nuthin to be sorry for...

but unfortunately oil and water dont mix... and maybe decisions have to be made if she's unhappy with what she has now..

i dunno.. coz its not me.. just an opinion...

hi ang too.. *hugs*

[SniperInTheShadows]

Hi Ozbabe Honey :* Hope your having a great day :* *hugz*

Hi everyone Hope your all having a great day too *hugz to the ladies *

Hi lilmiss *hugz*

Reading what everyones said, they've all made alot of good point's, and i'm not sure if this is the right thing to do but here goes -

As a few peep's here know, i've recently split up from my ex after going through two year's of hell (I was with her for four years but the first two were the most amazing time of my life).

She treated me like absolute shit, treated me as if I didn't exist and wasn't important, and made me feel like I was literaly (plz no spelling correction there Skweeky lol ) going crazy by telling me one thing and then changing what she said and then making out that I was imagining thing's and that's when she actually !did! talk to me :.(

I spent about 75% of my time with her waiting and waiting for her to talk to me only to recieve single word replies to thing's I shared with her most of the time, but when I was busy or couldn't think clearly and I took more than a minute or two to reply to her she got in a shit and would treat me even worse (funny given i'd be waiting 10 to 30 minutes for a reply sometimes, even over 60 minutes on a few occasions).

She would blame me for not talking about thing's i'd actually been talking with her about, subject's i'd bring up such as marriage and having children but she only ever brought them up when she was having a go at me for not bringing them up :.(

She promised me alot of thing's, mainly, and I lost track of how many times she did this, that she would be coming to visit only for something to suddenly come up and ending up not visiting :.( I tried so many times to get the money together to visit her but i'm on a very low income and every penny is accounted for and I could never get even close to being able to afford to, and last year she said she'd pay for travel costs (I arranged to borrow some money long-term from my mother for spends that i'd need) and then when i'd arranged to borrow a little cash she turned around and said I was unable to visit (was supposed to be a Christmas visit which made this worse) and now she say's that !I! never even tried to visit her :.(

Shit, this is longer than i'd planned, soz

Basically, even though i've been through hell emotionally since the split I know it was the right thing to do for !ME! and that i'm going to be ok even though I don't know how long it will be until I do get over it.

I believe that you need to think about what !YOU! want and how thing's are affecting you as they stand, and decide wether what your going through is worth it or not, and know that !if! you do decide to end thing's with him then it will most likely be very difficult for a while but that in the end it will possibly be better for you emotionally and physically (being a wreck emotionally does take it's toll on the body).

Do what you believe in your heart is the right thing for yourself, and know that there are others that have been through hard times similair to what your going through and that those peep's will be there to help you through the difficult times if you want them to be there

I've decided, after along time of hurting. that I want to start enjoying life again soon, and to find someone closer to home that I can love and be loved by, but i've also decided that the first thing I want to do is lose my damned virginity as if I don't soon then i'm going to become a Monk or just chop the damn thing off LOL

*comfort hugz*
Sniper. (Is very soz for the very long and boring post )

[AussieSheila]

Originally posted by JONNO_CELEBS@2 December 2003 - 23:47
@Andie and Honey.......Please please please don't take this the wrong way cos you know I luvs ya's

I don't think it's our place to tell lilmiss to leave her b/f, I think all we should do is offer her support, it's not right to tell people what to do, if she needs to leave him then it should be 100% her desicion.....so can we please not be saying these things?

Sorry if I'm wrong, just my opinion

Jonno B)

Yeah, you can say that Jonno. But we were asked for our opinions, based on quite a bit of experience. Lilmiss will use the advice she's been given as she sees fit. It strikes me she has a brain. So no offence meant and none taken, but I will give her the advice I would give my own daughter.

[hobbes]

Originally posted by Ozbabe@2 December 2003 - 07:06
lilmiss... for what its worth...

if this guy is treating you like this now...  there's 99.9% chance that he always will..  unfortunately we fall into the trap of thinking we can change them, but it doesnt happen, if anything the behaviours only get worse coz we empower them to keep doing it... 

This post contains a nugget of wisdom that many women would do well to learn.

I have been the bad guy before. Not abusive, but just rather selfish. The relationship was run by my convenience. Why? Because I didn't real care about her. If she wanted to breakup I would just say "whatever".

She chose me because she thought I was "cute", I used her for the convenient sex and she kept believing I would change, I never did. The more I kept her at arms length, the more she struggled to possess me. I finally told her to get on with her life and she immediately got into another emotionally disasterous relationship.

We must all decide how we need to be treated by our partners, and sure we will get in arguments from time to time, but if the general theme is neglect or abuse, we must walk away. Some people lack the self confidence to do this, some women feel inadequate if they don't have a bf.

Learn to be emotionally self sufficient, and then you can view relationships as a life enhancement and not a necessity.

Whatever you do, don't make any emotional decisions while under the influence of drugs and alcohol, I think you made the best choice by sleeping on it.

[j2k4]

Originally posted by hobbes@2 December 2003 - 11:30
Learn to be emotionally self sufficient, and then you can view relationships as a life enhancement and not a necessity.

This is what it comes down to.

Well and succinctly put, Hobbes.

[AussieSheila]

Hobbes is cute?????? Yeah??????

B) How YOU doin'