Talking Openly In A Way That Does Not Hurt?

[internet.news]

Originally posted by Chame1eon+4 December 2003 - 19:00--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (Chame1eon @ 4 December 2003 - 19:00)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'> <!--QuoteBegin-SniperInTheShadows@4 December 2003 - 08:46
I believe it stem&#39;s from fear and compassion (in some peep&#39;s cases) -

1. We fear what other peep&#39;s will think of us if we say something that they don&#39;t want to hear, so we try to make it sound like we&#39;re on their side and sugar coat things.

2. We fear that someone will tell us something that we don&#39;t want to hear so we sugar coat thing&#39;s in the hopes that others will know that we tried not to hurt them before and they&#39;ll try to do the same for us.

3. Compassion. When we care for someone we don&#39;t want to hurt them yet we do want to help them or tell them something that we believe they need to hear, so we try to make it less painful for them in the hope of helping them out.

- I don&#39;t like telling peep&#39;s thing&#39;s that need to be said sometimes and I usualy just keep my gob shut but when I do tell peep&#39;s thing&#39;s that need to be said I try to let them know that I do understand their side (if the instance is an arguement or something similair) and am only trying to help. Very rarely will I actualy be blunt and tell them without trying to be compassionate, the only times I tend to do that are when there&#39;s been problem&#39;s for a while and nothing else has gotten through to them.

Sniper. (Telling you, politely and not wanting to hurt your feelings, this threads silly lol Only joking there, it&#39;s a good thread really dude&#33;&#33; )

Are people really afraid of knowing ohters opinions. IMO i would rather knw what people think and what I am missing. It&#39;s definatley better to know&#33; maybe it&#39;s nice to avoid being rude or intentionally or pointlessly hurtfull, but when your just sugar coating your warping the truth and people know it.
Well anyway i thing tht people mainly do it to aviod uncomfrotable situations or fights, but iwonder what would happen if people stopped. I wonder if we would become more desensitied and better able to handle the truth without getting defensive or feeling bad. Knowlledge opinions and constructive critisicsm could flow more freely&#33;, and people could become more acepting of there flaws [/b][/quote]
true true - I could see it on myself - I got on side uncomfortable feelings when
the mods here told me I spam in some ways, but it was one of their open thoughts
and I said to myself: I should just ignore my uncomfortable feelings - it is good
that they told openly - that is why this forum exist, that is also good offline

[internet.news]

Originally posted by B.Helto@4 December 2003 - 19:18
We faih&#39; whut otha&#39; sucka&#39;s will think o&#39; us if we say sump&#39;n dat they duzn&#39;t
wanna haih&#39;, so&#39;s we try t&#39; make it sound likes we be on deir side an&#39; sugah&#39;
coat shit.

We faih&#39; dat somecat will tell us sump&#39;n dat we duzn&#39;t wanna haih&#39; so&#39;s we
sugah&#39; coat shit in da hopes dat otha&#39;s will know dat we tried not t&#39; hurt them
b4 an&#39; they gonna try t&#39; do da same 4 us.

When we care 4 somecat we duzn&#39;t wanna hurt them yet we do wanna help them o&#39;
tell them sump&#39;n dat we recon&#39; they need t&#39; haih&#39;, so&#39;s we try t&#39; make it less
painful 4 them in da hope o&#39; helpin&#39; them out.

I duzn&#39;t likes tellin&#39; sucka&#39;s shit dat need t&#39; be said sometimes an&#39; I
usua-like plum keep mah mout&#39; shut but when I do tell sucka&#39;s shit dat need t&#39;
be said I try t&#39; let them know dat I do dig deir side an&#39; be only tryin&#39; t&#39;
help. Real damn rare-like will I actua-like be blunt an&#39; tell them without
tryin&#39; t&#39; be compassionate, da only times I tend t&#39; do dat be when dair has
been bugs-up-da-ass 4 some while an&#39; nothin&#39; else has gotten through t&#39; them.

Your answer is a little difficult to read, it is some kind of dialect or so?
I have to concentrate while reading your post... well... true...

Arcadia: What the hell is this kind of weapon? Of Mass Destruction?

[Mr. Mulder]

@internet.news

It&#39;s my "make people be nice to me" gun, all I have to do is point it at someone and then they&#39;ll like me (or piss there pants )

[Sid Hartha]

"A kind word and a gun will get you a lot further than a kind word alone".

-Al Capone

[Snee]

A weapon of "ass destruction"?

[internet.news]

Originally posted by Arcadia@4 December 2003 - 19:32
@internet.news

It&#39;s my "make people be nice to me" gun, all I have to do is point it at someone and then they&#39;ll like me (or piss there pants )

sure I try to tell something openly that does not hurt, but sometimes it is
difficult... nice gun... if it would be easy...

[internet.news]

Originally posted by SnnY@4 December 2003 - 19:35
A weapon of "ass destruction"?

wow, you make me happy laughing

above --&#62; al capone: yes, but if you kill him you would not know his thoughts
and some maybe useful to know - some thoughts might be dumbshit for you -
although every thought counts...

[LTJBukem]

Originally posted by B.Helto+ 4 December 2003 - 18:18--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (B.Helto &#064; 4 December 2003 - 18:18)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'> We faih&#39; whut otha&#39; sucka&#39;s will think o&#39; us if we say sump&#39;n dat they duzn&#39;t
wanna haih&#39;, so&#39;s we try t&#39; make it sound likes we be on deir side an&#39; sugah&#39;
coat shit.

We faih&#39; dat somecat will tell us sump&#39;n dat we duzn&#39;t wanna haih&#39; so&#39;s we
sugah&#39; coat shit in da hopes dat otha&#39;s will know dat we tried not t&#39; hurt them
b4 an&#39; they gonna try t&#39; do da same 4 us.

When we care 4 somecat we duzn&#39;t wanna hurt them yet we do wanna help them o&#39;
tell them sump&#39;n dat we recon&#39; they need t&#39; haih&#39;, so&#39;s we try t&#39; make it less
painful 4 them in da hope o&#39; helpin&#39; them out.

I duzn&#39;t likes tellin&#39; sucka&#39;s shit dat need t&#39; be said sometimes an&#39; I
usua-like plum keep mah mout&#39; shut but when I do tell sucka&#39;s shit dat need t&#39;
be said I try t&#39; let them know dat I do dig deir side an&#39; be only tryin&#39; t&#39;
help. Real damn rare-like will I actua-like be blunt an&#39; tell them without
tryin&#39; t&#39; be compassionate, da only times I tend t&#39; do dat be when dair has
been bugs-up-da-ass 4 some while an&#39; nothin&#39; else has gotten through t&#39; them.[/b]

<!--QuoteBegin-Translation
We fear what other people might think of us, if we were to pass judgement on them, so we try to be supportive and tactful.

We fear retribution, and therefore avoid passing judgement or casting aspersions on others.

When we care for someone we don&#39;t want to hurt them, but sometimes friendly advice and council may be neccessary.

I personally don&#39;t enjoy giving advice and tend to avoid such scenarios. If such a conversation is unavoidable, i will try to make it clear that i am speaking to them as a friend, and that i have their best interests at heart.

Very rarely i have found myself being very blunt in giving advice, but only if i can see no other way to get through to the recipient. [/quote]I agree.




In real life, people might bitch and complain about someone behind their back; we all do it to an extent- some more that others. Somehow, on the internet people are not only more confident, but also seem to care less about hurting other peoles feelings.

It is important to be tolerant and open minded when dealing with others, whether in real life or over the internet. Which is what i like about this forum - on the whole people are quite friendly and supportive of one another. The moderators do a really good job in maintaining a friendly enviroment, and the same can be said of the majority members.

[internet.news]

That is exactly why I join this Forum.

And please don&#39;t charge me that is just my Impression I got since 7thElement - nothing against him, I am sure he is a really nice guy - come here as an Admin: the atmosphere of the board seemed to be changed completely and Paul did not recognized it or he is more active in the other scetions and let 7th do what he want... please do not understand these false these are just my impression and I think this board should remain this opened place as it was ok, there other ppl as well but these are also just humans, unfortunately. So, let us keep this place being opened to not only registered members. And the internet is also a part of real life, I do not think if it is so different. If I talk with someone his or her character is most important for me, ok ,if a person loks awesome as well, it is nice

Thanks for translating this dialect