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Thread: Newsflash! Senior K-lite "member"

  1. #1
    j2k4's Avatar en(un)lightened
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    AP-Ottumwa, Iowa (for immediate release)

    Sources here report an un-named Mexican, um....movie star has consented to perform in an independent production of an as yet un-named and un-scripted re-make of an un-named movie.

    Her participation was secured by a promise on the part of the un-named producers of the un-named film to use an un-named member of an un-named internet forum to star opposite her in a challenging (however, un-scripted) role.

    Details are scarce, but sources say that although the un-named mystery co-star is ancient, he cleans up well.

    Further details will be provided as they become available...

    (Ends)
    “Think about how stupid the average person is, and then realize that half of 'em are stupider than that.” -George Carlin

  2. Lounge   -   #2
    internet.news
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    Very interesting to hear - is this member here - I would really appreciate to talk with her I know it always - there is hope for K-Lite!

  3. Lounge   -   #3
    j2k4's Avatar en(un)lightened
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    AP-Deadwood, South Dakota (for immediate release)

    Sources here report a motley collection of characters has taken a block of rooms at the Best Western Hickok House at 137 Charles St. in order to conduct screen testing of local talent in an attempt to cast supporting roles in an as-yet untitled and extremely small-budget movie scheduled to begin shooting some time in March in, um.....not Hollywood, but a small town like, or possibly near, Hollywood.

    At least that's what they are saying.

    Locals are welcome to test, the producer says, as long as they can bring something unique, feature or talent-wise, to the test, and be ready to commit to performing or featuring it on film.

    The producer says he'll have a busload of future "stars" with him when he crosses the California border, where, he explained, his cortege of talent will be introduced to the stars of his cinematic extravaganza.

    He brags that he has "one of the most beautiful women in the whole world" ready to strut her stuff in his endeavor, and in order to lock up her commitment, must merely detour south a bit on his way to the Golden State to take in tow his male star, whose talents, while never before immortalized on the silver screen, have been the talk of beerhalls, bistros and bars all across the globe.

    The producer promises Oscar-worthy performances from both his stars, and guarantees an award winning "score".

    Successful tests will be reported in the local newspaper's sports section next to the week's bowling results.

    (Ends)
    “Think about how stupid the average person is, and then realize that half of 'em are stupider than that.” -George Carlin

  4. Lounge   -   #4
    kAb's Avatar Poster
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    who is the senior k-lite mexican member?

  5. Lounge   -   #5
    Afronaut's Avatar Xenu
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    ...interesting.
    I am anxious. Cant wait for all the Gossip and Scandals,
    not even mentioning The Un-Movie...
    Finally a Real Reason to browse The Lounge.

    Cheers:
    -GS-
    Spoiler: Show

  6. Lounge   -   #6
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    GREAT

  7. Lounge   -   #7
    j2k4's Avatar en(un)lightened
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    Originally posted by kAb@5 December 2003 - 03:09
    who is the senior k-lite mexican member?
    All I know for sure is it's not me.

    I don't think he's Mexican, either.

    I just occasionally find these "press releases" in my inbox.

    It's all very mysterious.

    Rumor has it the un-named male lead's K-lite mem........I mean, the male lead's member has been altered or enhanced, somehow, perhaps surgically.

    Naming names would surely simplify things, but this so-called "producer" won't give up his pretense.
    “Think about how stupid the average person is, and then realize that half of 'em are stupider than that.” -George Carlin

  8. Lounge   -   #8
    Illuminati's Avatar Simple Bystander BT Rep: +7BT Rep +7
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  9. Lounge   -   #9
    j2k4's Avatar en(un)lightened
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    AP-Fort Collins, Colorado (wire copy-general)

    Public Safety personnel responded to a roadside fire reported on Interstate 25 about 3 miles north of the city limits late this afternoon.

    When firefighters arrived on the scene, they found the still-smoldering shell of a 1986 model Bluebird bus, suspected to have been stolen ten days ago from a maintenance garage owned by the Ottumwa school district in Ottumwa, Iowa.

    Onlookers said the bus pulled to the side of the roadway, where approximately 15 people disembarked before the bus burst into flame.

    The former passengers were last seen entering a small copse about 100 yards from the highway.

    Investigators have no clues as to their identities or whereabouts.

    The incident remains under investigation, and authorities ask anyone who may have witnessed events at the scene contact the Fort Collins Dept. of Public Safety.

    (Ends)
    “Think about how stupid the average person is, and then realize that half of 'em are stupider than that.” -George Carlin

  10. Lounge   -   #10
    J2,

    I am not sure if this has any bearing on your story, but I received this unusual E-mail simply titled "Promo".

    It contained the following:




    "the CLOCK is ticking, just a matter of time. I am the walrus and the new Johnny Wad" was the only text.
    Aren't we in the trust tree, thingey?

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