Your Ad Here Your Ad Here
Page 1 of 7 1234 ... LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 62

Thread: Twenty very difficult months

  1. #1
    megabyteme's Avatar RASPBERRY RIPPLE BT Rep: +19BT Rep +19BT Rep +19BT Rep +19
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    Using Mrs. Nussbaum's CC#
    Posts
    17,096
    I made my step-dad a promise that he would never go back to a nursing facility again. I kept that promise. It was an awful 20 months that caused severe stress and tension on my family and myself. Instead of appreciating that he had a kind family willing to take care of him, we got a mix of bitterness, manipulation, drug addiction and withdrawal, subversion, and that doesn't even begin to include the physical work it takes to care for someone with advanced Parkinson's disease.

    My lack of presence and humor we among many costs of the past (almost) two years.

    His sister requested that I send her half of his ashes so that she could spread them in his hometown. I struggled with how I would eventually deal with the awful ways he treated my mother during her last few years and his desire to be scattered with her. I have decided that the half in my possession are all of the good things he used to be: a provider for my mother for over 30 years, a hard worker, a generous and caring man, and the man who got me out of a bad childhood twice when he had no obligation to do so at all.

    The good parts of him will rest at Lake Crescent on the Washington coast with my mother. Chances are good our Postal Service will lose/scatter the rest of him on the way to Oregon.
    Quote Originally Posted by IdolEyes787 View Post
    Never go in against a Canadian when maple syrup is on the line.

  2. Lounge   -   #2
    Stehle's Avatar Poster
    Join Date
    May 2013
    Location
    Earth ...(Sometimes)
    Posts
    2,659
    You and your family should be commended for all that patience. A noble act of kindness well done.

    (Went though something similar many years ago with an Alzheimer’s afflicted family member... I joined FST soon after.)
    “Life has become immeasurably better since I have been forced to stop taking it seriously.” ― Hunter S. Thompson

  3. Lounge   -   #3
    megabyteme's Avatar RASPBERRY RIPPLE BT Rep: +19BT Rep +19BT Rep +19BT Rep +19
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    Using Mrs. Nussbaum's CC#
    Posts
    17,096
    Thank you. Both Parkinson's and Alzheimer's are horrible. Very sorry for you and your loved one.

    I've done my best to make amends for the turmoil my family were brought into without really being allowed to choose. Apologies and money only make up for so much.

    Definitely a lot of healing to do ahead of us. Heck, even the house looks like a tornado tore through the interior.
    Quote Originally Posted by IdolEyes787 View Post
    Never go in against a Canadian when maple syrup is on the line.

  4. Lounge   -   #4
    Caballero's Avatar Hung Like A Horse
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    Posts
    1,220
    You are a saint. It did not rise to the same level, but I can definitely see parallels to the later years of my grandmothers before they passed.

    Hope you and yours have some time to focus on yourselves and your own needs going forward.

  5. Lounge   -   #5
    megabyteme's Avatar RASPBERRY RIPPLE BT Rep: +19BT Rep +19BT Rep +19BT Rep +19
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    Using Mrs. Nussbaum's CC#
    Posts
    17,096
    Ngl Saint Meg has a nice ring to it

    Truth is that he passed on May 2 and I am just now coming out of a dark shell. There was no emotion that fit with the experience. Nothing feels right about it.

    In my mind I pictured somehow making him happy. That's not always possible, it seems. And constantly trying to do so and failing takes a HUGE toll.

    I have a few legal things to take care of then we're all headed to stay in the West Wing of Idol's mansion.
    Quote Originally Posted by IdolEyes787 View Post
    Never go in against a Canadian when maple syrup is on the line.

  6. Lounge   -   #6
    IdolEyes787's Avatar Persona non grata
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Location
    State of Grace
    Posts
    30,537
    Quote Originally Posted by megabyteme View Post
    I made my step-dad a promise that he would never go back to a nursing facility again. I kept that promise. It was an awful 20 months that caused severe stress and tension on my family and myself. Instead of appreciating that he had a kind family willing to take care of him, we got a mix of bitterness, manipulation, drug addiction and withdrawal, subversion, and that doesn't even begin to include the physical work it takes to care for someone with advanced Parkinson's disease.

    My lack of presence and humor we among many costs of the past (almost) two years.

    His sister requested that I send her half of his ashes so that she could spread them in his hometown. I struggled with how I would eventually deal with the awful ways he treated my mother during her last few years and his desire to be scattered with her. I have decided that the half in my possession are all of the good things he used to be: a provider for my mother for over 30 years, a hard worker, a generous and caring man, and the man who got me out of a bad childhood twice when he had no obligation to do so at all.

    The good parts of him will rest at Lake Crescent on the Washington coast with my mother. Chances are good our Postal Service will lose/scatter the rest of him on the way to Oregon.
    Your stepfather was a nurse in Lake Crescent?
    PS Reading comprehension isn't really my thing.
    PPS There goes my theory that this was some sort of leftist plot to have shay replace you.
    Respect my lack of authority.

  7. Lounge   -   #7
    megabyteme's Avatar RASPBERRY RIPPLE BT Rep: +19BT Rep +19BT Rep +19BT Rep +19
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    Using Mrs. Nussbaum's CC#
    Posts
    17,096
    Your reading comprehension isn't inherently bad, you have simply developed a condition known as Shaylexia.
    Quote Originally Posted by IdolEyes787 View Post
    Never go in against a Canadian when maple syrup is on the line.

  8. Lounge   -   #8
    It also told you that all relatives are close to hott to look after him, both you and your sister in the same manner, otherwise it happens that often this responsibility goes to one person

  9. Lounge   -   #9
    IdolEyes787's Avatar Persona non grata
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Location
    State of Grace
    Posts
    30,537
    In my experience, except for baby polar bears, the world is a pretty bleak place.



    Of course mature polar bears will happily disembowel you but that's a story for another day.
    Respect my lack of authority.

  10. Lounge   -   #10
    megabyteme's Avatar RASPBERRY RIPPLE BT Rep: +19BT Rep +19BT Rep +19BT Rep +19
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    Using Mrs. Nussbaum's CC#
    Posts
    17,096
    Interesting...I never realized that I sit up just like a baby polar bear.
    Quote Originally Posted by IdolEyes787 View Post
    Never go in against a Canadian when maple syrup is on the line.

Page 1 of 7 1234 ... LastLast

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •