Last one to post wins the internets

[megabyteme]

Nothing to see here

[megabyteme]

If all else fails, we can settle our differences on the battlefield like men: crossbows at 10 paces.

[IdolEyes787]

It's all fun and games until someone gets a bolt in the throat.

[IdolEyes787]

If it will placate Trump, you can have one of our Ryans. Your choice as long as it's Gosling.

[chalice]

I would care. I like Canada.


In other news, looks like I don't have lung cancer after all. Just a fractured spine which has barely healed over eight years, without, I might add, developing an opioid dependency like the rest of you yankee bum boys. Oh, and a folic acid deficiency, absolutely no sex drive, blinding cataracts (which have destroyed my ability to play video games) and a morbid fear and hatred of other people in the same vein as Sartre, which took shape acutely while I was interned in bed for a year and a half, utterly unable to move. I've been on the waiting list for new eyeballs for the past ten years. I'm typing this by muscle memory.

I can promise youse this, though, we are absolutely not going to achieve sense and pragmatism in the $20 thread on a board which is literally undead, populated and observed by Russian bots. No way, no how. The three of you fools (at least Idol sees the irony) are addicted to this board. I sympathise, I've been there myself.

Go and find a proper addiction, like hoarding or self-harm, you big self-important, ineffective zomboids. At least in the old days we had bittards and Dave to harsh. Kinda made it worth it.

This is just contributing to my burgeoning depression and anxiety. And I'd love to see how long you'd all last on a thriving board again. Reddit doesn't count cos that voting system is designed to destroy cunts like me. The better, more honest the post, the more likely it is to be downvoted into tard oblivion.

That said, tomorrow is a new day boys. Resurrect that razor wit and cut a dickhead's throat with it.

[megabyteme]

Talk about anticlimactic. You led off with delusions of lung cancer, now it's difficult to muster sympathy for an old hazy-eyed misanthrope with a limp dick and a back ache.
At least Mister Magoo got out of the house on occasion. Do yourself a favor, eat a few eggs and a couple salads, talk to your doctor about blue pills, and while you're at it pop a couple Tylenol.

I can't tell if you're more of a white cane or guiding pooch kind of guy but one way or the other it's time to get some fresh air and face the big scary world. Harden the fuck up. I'm sure if you rummage deep enough in your laundry pile you can find your big boy pants.

[IdolEyes787]

I can promise youse this, though, we are absolutely not going to achieve sense and pragmatism in the $20 thread on a board which is literally undead, populated and observed by Russian bots. No way, no how. The three of you fools (at least Idol sees the irony) are addicted to this board. I sympathise, I've been there myself.

I am Hachiko and one day you will come here and find me frozen to death.

[OlegL]

How are you, guys?

[anon]

In other news, looks like I don't have lung cancer after all. Just a fractured spine which has barely healed over eight years, without, I might add, developing an opioid dependency like the rest of you yankee bum boys. Oh, and a folic acid deficiency, absolutely no sex drive, blinding cataracts (which have destroyed my ability to play video games) and a morbid fear and hatred of other people in the same vein as Sartre, which took shape acutely while I was interned in bed for a year and a half, utterly unable to move. I've been on the waiting list for new eyeballs for the past ten years. I'm typing this by muscle memory.

Bad deal. Should've stuck with the cancer. At least that shit has a chance of spontaneous remission.

[mjmacky]

Adopted voluntary celibacy about 4 years ago. Haven't even had a wank in three years.

I've been celibate for about 7-8 years now, but that was more a byproduct of not getting into any more relationships since my asexual nature complicates them too much. I entertained trysts outside of relationships, but it was more like I forced myself to try something that I wasn't into, and I had no subsequent change of heart. I have not missed it.

I do wank though because I fear for what might happen to my sphincter if it doesn't get the exercise. It's not frequent though. I'm not worried about anything else like cardiovascular health or the like, I just know that if I happen to go longer than a week or so without drawing out some goo, I feel like the productive poos go on break. It's not something I need to think about, but why would you go cold turkey on handling your wattle?