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Thread: Bob Monkhouse Dies

  1. #1
    zacspeed's Avatar Pheasant plucker
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    http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/t...dio/3353445.stm

    Didn't know whether to put this in "Funny Stuff" or here.
    This guy was a comedy genius.
    What a great loss

    From The BBC news site:

    "The late Bob Monkhouse, who has died at the age of 75, had a huge catalogue of gags and one-liners that he could call upon for any situation.

    Here is a sample of some of his one-liners:

    "I got my start in silent radio."

    "The last time I was in Spain I got through six Jeffrey Archer novels. I must remember to take enough toilet paper next time."

    "Personally, I don't think there's intelligent life on other planets. Why should other planets be any different from this one?"

    "My wife's see-through nightie is now bi-focal."

    "Growing old is compulsory - growing up is optional."

    "If you don't go to other peoples funerals, they won't go to yours."

    "A miniature village in Bournemouth caught fire and the flames could be seen nearly three feet away."

    "I swam in the dead sea when it was only critically ill."

    "My father only hit me once - but he used a Volvo."

    "They laughed when I said I was going to be a comedian. They're not laughing now."

    "What's a geriatric? A German footballer scoring three goals."

    "I tend to sleep in the nude. Which isn't a bad thing except for maybe on those long flights."

    "I remember when safe sex was a padded headboard."

    "Real happiness is when you marry a girl for love and find out later she has money."

    "I'm not saying my wife's a bad cook, but she uses a smoke alarm as a timer."

    "My mother tried to kill me when I was a baby. She denied it. She said she thought the plastic bag would keep me fresh."

    He will be sadly missed.

  2. The Drawing Room   -   #2
    Rat Faced's Avatar Broken
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    Damn, they're going down in droves at the moment.

    As a comedian, he was one of the best...wont mention all those naff gameshows though, and many younger people only know him as a Gameshow Host..

    An It Harm None, Do What You Will

  3. The Drawing Room   -   #3
    Double Agent
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    never heard of the dude

    well at least his troubles are over...

    the world is still a mess...

  4. The Drawing Room   -   #4
    Originally posted by Rat Faced@30 December 2003 - 17:53


    Damn, they're going down in droves at the moment.

    As a comedian, he was one of the best...wont mention all those naff gameshows though, and many younger people only know him as a Gameshow Host..
    I Only Knew Of Him Really As A Gamehost. There was a show that i cant remember the name but i remember he did wipeout

    Peace

  5. The Drawing Room   -   #5
    I never even knew he was ill

    He was a great comedian and presenter, for both the old and new generations.

    A true legend.

  6. The Drawing Room   -   #6
    BANNED
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    I ..the movie he played a dentist with the secret toothpaste was pretty amusing.




    I prefered the yanks thou like jerry lewis.

  7. The Drawing Room   -   #7
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    Didn't like him, seemed two faced, false, but that's only my opinion. sad to see a well known comedian go, too many have gone never to be replaced.
    Man U fer eva

  8. The Drawing Room   -   #8
    Omg, I never thought he was 75, he looked a lot younger.

  9. The Drawing Room   -   #9
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    Originally posted by PhloX@31 December 2003 - 15:07
    Omg, I never thought he was 75, he looked a lot younger.
    You'd have a bloody shock if u saw most entertainers first thing in the mornings
    before the have makeup on
    Man U fer eva

  10. The Drawing Room   -   #10
    : <- Pamela Anderson w/o makeup.

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