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Thread: Jews Threaten To Crucify Mel Gibson

  1. #1
    yxuz's Avatar Learning To Conform
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    http://www.thespoof.com/news/spoof.cfm?headline=s4i2191

    Jews Threaten To Crucify Mel Gibson


    Written by JJ Jogolo

    The call can be heard around the world, "We did not kill Christ!" This call is being voiced from every jewish synagogue in the world. And the reason for the call is Mel Gibson's latest film production "Passion of the Christ" which jews claim portrays them as the responsible party for the crucifixion of Jesus Christ.

    We spoke with Rabbi Hymen Licher of the Jewish Film Defence League (JFDL). Rabbi Licher is the spokesperson for over 10 million American jews and had the following message for Mr. Gibson. "Although we have not yet seen this film, Mr. Gibson has made claims that he followed the New Testament for his entire script. By using the Bible as his script he has included some very biased material that can only lead non-jews to conclude that the jewish people are responsible for the death of Christ."

    "We can not allow such an idea to come to the forefront of secular and religious belief, it would be crippling to the national security of our Israeli Homeland." continued Licher. "Gibson's actions can only be reviewed as anti-semetic and we as jews must not allow such actions to continue. We are therefore calling for the immediate crucifixion of Mel Gibson. If he chooses to mislead the world as Jesus did, then let him meet the same fate."

    When asked about the obvious implications of this vigilante request, Licher told us, "First, you will accuse the jews of killing Christ, we did not. Then when Gibson is nailed to the cross, jews will be accused of killing him too. But jews aren't to blame for either of these deaths. It is Mel Gibson's own actions that will cause his eventual crucifixion, just as it was Jesus' own actions that brought about his death."

    Federal authorities are keeping themselves distanced from this provocative jewish movement. BATF Agent Lon Horuchi, responsible for killing Vicki Weaver while she held her infant child at Ruby Ridge and credited with several kills at the Davidian Massacre in Waco Texas, spoke with us off of the record. "Man, Bush, Powell, Cheney, Rumsfeld... none of them will call off this crucifixion of Gibson. They're all scared shitless of the jews. But the jews got the right idea, if someone disagrees with you, kill them. I subscribe to that philosophy, Clinton subscribed to that philosophy, but these Bush folks are too scared to either support or oppose the jews. When Israel says send money, Bush says 'how much?' So now, we've been ordered by Bush to stay out of this. It's really pathetic. Bush is going to let the jews crucify Gibson."

    Mel Gibson has refused protecton from Billy Graham and Jerry Fallwell, saying only that Jesus would protect him from the coming jewish onslaught. His film, The Passion of the Christ, is still sheduled for release across the U.S. next week and is certain to provoke worldwide jewish calls for his death.

  2. Lounge   -   #2
    Double Agent
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    poor Mel has gone insane......

    i hope he has some protection......

  3. Lounge   -   #3
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    I wonder if the Jews will make Mel carry his cross as well
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    He didn't really come out of that Diane Sawyer interview looking like the poster boy for sanity that's for sure.... I suspect the pressure is really getting to him.. Thats what you get for making a movie about religion. He should have known better. He probably would have gotten less flak if he'd made another Mad Max movie, even if it was shittier than Thunderdome.

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    bujub22's Avatar THE GREAT
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    aah it ain't a big deal cuz no one really know's how jesus lived sep for what they read and all that still is hear say, so the jews jus need a chill pill

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    DarthInsinuate's Avatar Died in battle
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    apparently Mr Gibson was struck by lightning twice during filming
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    bujub22's Avatar THE GREAT
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    Originally posted by DarthInsinuate@19 February 2004 - 15:04
    apparently Mr Gibson was struck by lightning twice during filming



    hittem again don

  8. Lounge   -   #8
    Originally posted by DarthInsinuate@19 February 2004 - 14:04
    apparently Mr Gibson was struck by lightning twice during filming
    It wasn't Mel that was struck by lightning. Jim Caviezel, the actor who portrays Jesus in the film, was struck by lightning. An assistant director was also struck during filming.

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    Guillaume's Avatar Kentish old lady BT Rep: +8BT Rep +8
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    Anyway, that guy should have been crucified after "What women want..."

    edit: or after "The patriot"...

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    bujub22's Avatar THE GREAT
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    Originally posted by Gurahl@19 February 2004 - 15:24
    Anyway, that guy should have been crucified after "What women want..."

    A movie about a guy hearing women's thought... Women... Thinking... Anything strike you as odd in the sentence?



    u ever see the dave chappelle show when he did what men really want freakin hillarous

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