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Thread: Survival Tips For Lotr

  1. #1
    Cheese's Avatar Poster
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    For those of you planning on seeing the third LOTR movie at the theater her are some survival tips.

    1. Stand up halfway through the movie and yell loudly, "Wait... where the hell is Harry Potter?"

    2. Block the entrance to the theater while screaming: "YOU SHALL NOT PASS!" - After the movie, say "Lucas could have done it better."

    3. At some point during the movie, stand up and shout: "I must go! Middle Earth needs me!" and run and try to jump into the screen. After bouncing off, return quietly to your seat.

    4. Play a drinking game where you have to take a sip every time someone says: "The Ring."

    5. Point and laugh whenever someone dies.

    6. Ask the nearest ring-nut if he thinks Gandalf went to Hogwarts

    7. Finish off every one of Elrond's lines with "Mr. Anderson."

    8. When Aragorn is crowned king, stand up and at the top of your lungs sing, "And I did it.... MY way...!"

    9. At the end, complain that Gollum was offensive to Ethiopians

    10. Talk like Gollum all through the movie. At the end, bite off someone's finger and fall down the stairs.

    11. When Shelob appears, pinch the guy in front of you on the back of the neck.

    12. Dress up as old ladies and reenact "The Battle of Helms Deep" Monty Python style.

    13. When Denethor lights the fire, shout "Barbecue!"

    14. Ask people around you who they think is the next "Terminator" sent from the Middle Earth of the future to assassinate Frodo Baggins

    15. In TTT when the Ents decide to march to war, stand up and shout "RUN FOREST, RUN!"

    16. Every time someone kills an Orc, yell: "That's what I'm Tolkien about!" See how long it takes before you get kicked out of the theatre.

    17. During a wide shot of a battle, inquire, "Where's Waldo?"

    18. Talk loudly about how you heard that there is a single frame of a nude Elf hidden somewhere in the movie.

    19. Start an Orc sing-a-long.

    20. Come to the premiere dressed as Frankenfurter and wander around looking terribly confused.

    Source

    (Would have posted in the funny section but no-one goes there...)

  2. Lounge   -   #2
    bujub22's Avatar THE GREAT
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  3. Lounge   -   #3
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    Originally posted by Withcheese@2 March 2004 - 10:18
    11. When Shelob appears, pinch the guy in front of you on the back of the neck.
    ROFPMSL.
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    bujub22's Avatar THE GREAT
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    <@debaser> so
    <@debaser> i&#39;m kinda looking forward to seeing the passion
    <blister> the question is though: which bitch is going to get naked in this story (the hotty from Braveheart == win&#33
    <Azra`el> jesus died a virgin man
    <Azra`el> remember?
    <Pi> Azra`el: but Jesus got tempted like a mofo
    <Pi> so some chick&#39;s probably all "let&#39;s sex0r" and he&#39;s all "get thee behind me"
    <blister> if they did that
    <blister> i&#39;d go see it

  5. Lounge   -   #5
    DarthInsinuate's Avatar Died in battle
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    Originally posted by Withcheese@2 March 2004 - 10:18
    15. In TTT when the Ents decide to march to war, stand up and shout "RUN FOREST, RUN&#33;"

    17. During a wide shot of a battle, inquire, "Where&#39;s Waldo?"
    Fantasic
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  6. Lounge   -   #6
    Originally posted by bujub22@2 March 2004 - 14:10
    <@debaser> so
    <@debaser> i&#39;m kinda looking forward to seeing the passion
    <blister> the question is though: which bitch is going to get naked in this story (the hotty from Braveheart == win&#33
    <Azra`el> jesus died a virgin man
    <Azra`el> remember?
    <Pi> Azra`el: but Jesus got tempted like a mofo
    <Pi> so some chick&#39;s probably all "let&#39;s sex0r" and he&#39;s all "get thee behind me"
    <blister> if they did that
    <blister> i&#39;d go see it
    LMAO&#33;&#33;&#33;

  7. Lounge   -   #7
    bujub22's Avatar THE GREAT
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    Originally posted by Withcheese@2 March 2004 - 07:18

    1. Stand up halfway through the movie and yell loudly, "Wait... where the hell is Harry Potter?"

    2. Block the entrance to the theater while screaming: "YOU SHALL NOT PASS&#33;" - After the movie, say "Lucas could have done it better."

    3. At some point during the movie, stand up and shout: "I must go&#33; Middle Earth needs me&#33;" and run and try to jump into the screen. After bouncing off, return quietly to your seat.



    7. Finish off every one of Elrond&#39;s lines with "Mr. Anderson."



    9. At the end, complain that Gollum was offensive to Ethiopians


    13. When Denethor lights the fire, shout "Barbecue&#33;"





    17. During a wide shot of a battle, inquire, "Where&#39;s Waldo?"

    these ones are jus to funny my g/f was rhao&#33;&#33;

  8. Lounge   -   #8
    Skweeky's Avatar Manker's web totty
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    Originally posted by Withcheese@2 March 2004 - 12:18
    15. In TTT when the Ents decide to march to war, stand up and shout "RUN FOREST, RUN&#33;"

    16. Every time someone kills an Orc, yell: "That&#39;s what I&#39;m Tolkien about&#33;" See how long it takes before you get kicked out of the theatre.



  9. Lounge   -   #9
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    7. Finish off every one of Elrond&#39;s lines with "Mr. Anderson."
    Man... I didnt finish every line he said with it... But I did say it every time he appeared. I just couldnt help it... The wierd part is, ive been doing it for every movie...

    Oh and I watched Priscilla Queen of the Desert just so I could say I&#39;ve seen it.
    If you like Hugo Weaving as an actor NEVER WATCH THIS MOVIE.

    There&#39;s no &#39;I&#39; in &#39;team&#39;. But then there&#39;s no &#39;I&#39; in &#39;useless smug colleague&#39;, either.
    And there&#39;s four in &#39;platitude-quoting idiot&#39;. Go figure.

  10. Lounge   -   #10
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    Lol I&#39;ve read these before somewhere, but they&#39;re great to read again.

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