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Thread: Man Code

  1. #1
    Mr. Mulder's Avatar pepper your angus BT Rep: +10BT Rep +10
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    the g/f just sent me this, thought it was pretty funny ...not sure where its from though

    THE MALES VERSION OF THE CHICK CODE

    1. If you don't have anything good to say then don't say it, so basically shut up all the time.

    2. Every meal must be promptly prepared to the desired specifications at a reasonable time

    3. Take 1 Advil before bed to prevent headache

    4. Clean the house, apartment, and/or dorm regularly

    5. Sunday is considered a holy day. Church is not required but at least 6 hours of football is (fall only all other season require drinking in place of football)

    6. Never ask "do I look fat"

    7. Never ask "What are you thinking"

    8. Feel free to comment on another girls ass

    9. Do not comment on the attractiveness of another guy

    10. Your man is allowed to cheat on you as long as an invitation for you to join in is offered.

    11. All sleepovers must include a pillow fight in their panties

    12. All sleepovers must be accompanied by high definition video documentation

    13. After sex the proper reply is "that was the best I ever had would you like a sandwich"

    14. Road head is required on any road trip over 30 minutes long

    15. Never cry or get emotional during sex

    16. Do not piss the bed after sex (it has happened)

    17. Video taping sex is required at least once per relationship, upon termination of said relationship the tape becomes property of the man

    18. You can not get mad at your man for not wanting to go to the mall with you

    19. The guy has the right to one guy's night out per week

    20. Three things must be done after dinner. Make desert, have sex, do the dishes! The choice of order is yours

    21. Never point out flaws in guys. (We already know about them)

    22. The way to a man's heart is not through his stomach it is through his zipper

    23. Wearing sunglasses on the top of your head signifies "high maintenance bitch"

    24. Likewise wearing combat boots and army fatigues signifies lesbian.

    25. Feminists are bad

    26. Tuesday is national topless day

    27. Thongs must be worn all the time except on special occasions panties may not be worn

    28. Oprah or any other crappy female show is not permitted to be watched.

    29. If it's "that time of the month", even though you can't have sex at least please your man orally

    30. Feel free to offer a threesome to your boyfriend at any time during the relationship

    31. Don't fake an orgasm, we usually don't care as long as we get off.

    32. If you don't know anything about sports, don't waste your time with questions- you wont understand the answer anyway

    33. If your family has a secret recipe for the worlds greatest cinnamon bread it is your duty to provide your boyfriend and his friends with an adequate supply of it

    34. If your boyfriend asks you to jump on the trampoline braless, you must oblige

    35. Never make your tofu crappy health meals, steak and a potato is what we want

    36. When your done going to the bathroom, put the toilet seat up for us!

    37. When we ask if your day was alright, just say yes and get it over with because we won't pay attention if you told us your problems anyway

    38. Shaving down below is required, or at least a very nice trim job

    39. If it's a hot day, feel free to walk around topless to cool off

    40. If were watching TV and not talking, don't ask if were mad at you, cause are response to the question is going to be yes, since you just interrupted are attention

    41. If our beer looks like its almost out, get us another bottle without us asking you to

    42. You cannot get mad at us for having porn movies, were just ….ummm…. learning how to please you better---yeah that's it!

    43. Never ever use the line "Well Cosmo said you should be more…"

    44. Please don't ask "Does my ass look big in this?"---the response can only lead to bad repercussions.

    45. A strip tease must be performed for your boyfriend once a week.

    46. Never ask "Where do you see this relationship going?"- if we didn't like you we wouldn't be with you(unless you give great chewies)

    47. At least take it in the mouth

    48. Never ask us to go to a chick flick.

    49. If you ask us to have a threesome it better be with your hot girlfriend

    50. If you go down on us, it does not require a reciprocate action

    51. When we wake up in the morning we expect our coffee, eggs and bacon already cooked for us.

    52. Masturbate often. Feel free to ask for assistance.

    If any of these laws are violated, you may not wear make-up for a day, and you may not wear pink for a week.

  2. Lounge   -   #2
    13. After sex the proper reply is "that was the best I ever had would you like a sandwich"
    make me a sandwich bitch

  3. Lounge   -   #3
    DanB's Avatar Smoke weed everyday
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    29. If it's "that time of the month", even though you can't have sex at least please your man orally

    Sounds about fair to me

  4. Lounge   -   #4
    RGX's Avatar Unstoppable
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    Originally posted by Arcadia@9 March 2004 - 12:06

    13. After sex the proper reply is "that was the best I ever had would you like a sandwich"

    14. Road head is required on any road trip over 30 minutes long

    15. Never cry or get emotional during sex

    17. Video taping sex is required at least once per relationship, upon termination of said relationship the tape becomes property of the man

    19. The guy has the right to one guy's night out per week

    22. The way to a man's heart is not through his stomach it is through his zipper

    25. Feminists are bad

    26. Tuesday is national topless day

    27. Thongs must be worn all the time except on special occasions panties may not be worn

    30. Feel free to offer a threesome to your boyfriend at any time during the relationship

    31. Don't fake an orgasm, we usually don't care as long as we get off.

    36. When your done going to the bathroom, put the toilet seat up for us!

    37. When we ask if your day was alright, just say yes and get it over with because we won't pay attention if you told us your problems anyway

    38. Shaving down below is required, or at least a very nice trim job

    39. If it's a hot day, feel free to walk around topless to cool off

    40. If were watching TV and not talking, don't ask if were mad at you, cause are response to the question is going to be yes, since you just interrupted are attention

    41. If our beer looks like its almost out, get us another bottle without us asking you to

    42. You cannot get mad at us for having porn movies, were just ….ummm…. learning how to please you better---yeah that's it!

    45. A strip tease must be performed for your boyfriend once a week.

    47. At least take it in the mouth

    49. If you ask us to have a threesome it better be with your hot girlfriend

    52. Masturbate often. Feel free to ask for assistance.
    My favorites, all either true or should be

  5. Lounge   -   #5
    Aaron_T's Avatar A duck is watching.
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    Those who dont learn from the past are doomed to repeat It.

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