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Thread: Cow Economics.....

  1. #1
    fkdup74's Avatar Pneuberator.
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    if you are too politically inclined, maybe you shouldnt read this.......
    cause it is, after all, only a joke


    Cow Economics

    DEMOCRAT
    You have two cows.
    Your neighbor has none.
    You feel guilty for being successful.
    Barbara Streisand sings for you.


    REPUBLICAN
    You have two cows.
    Your neighbor has none.
    So?


    SOCIALIST
    You have two cows.
    The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor.
    You form a cooperative to tell him how to manage his cow.


    COMMUNIST
    You have two cows.
    The government seizes both and provides you with milk.
    You wait in line for hours to get it.
    It is expensive and sour.


    CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE
    You have two cows.
    You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of cows.


    DEMOCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE
    You have two cows.
    The government taxes you to the point you have to sell both to support
    a man in a foreign country who has only one cow, which was a gift from
    your government.


    BUREAUCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE
    You have two cows.
    The government takes them both, shoots one, milks the other, pays you
    for the milk, and then pours the milk down the drain.


    AMERICAN CORPORATION
    You have two cows.
    You sell one, lease it back to yourself and do an IPO on the 2nd one.
    You force the two cows to produce the milk of four cows. You are
    surprised when one cow drops dead. You spin an announcement to the
    analysts stating you have down sized and are reducing expenses.
    Your stock goes up.


    FRENCH CORPORATION
    You have two cows.
    You go on strike because you want three cows.
    You go to lunch and drink wine.
    Life is good.


    JAPANESE CORPORATION
    You have two cows.
    You redesign them so they are one tenth the size of an ordinary cow and
    produce twenty times the milk. They learn to travel on unbelievably
    crowded trains. Most are at the top of their class at cow school.


    GERMAN CORPORATION
    You have two cows.
    You engineer them so they are all blond, drink lots of beer, give
    excellent quality milk, and run a hundred miles an hour. Unfortunately
    they also demand 13 weeks of vacation per year.


    ITALIAN CORPORATION
    You have two cows but you don't know where they are.
    While ambling around, you see a beautiful woman.
    You break for lunch.
    Life is good.


    RUSSIAN CORPORATION
    You have two cows.
    You have some vodka.
    You count them and learn you have five cows.
    You have some more vodka.
    You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
    The Mafia shows up and takes over however many cows you
    really have.


    TALIBAN CORPORATION
    You have all the cows in Afghanistan, which are two.
    You don't milk them because you cannot touch any creature's private
    parts. Then you kill them and claim a US bomb blew them up while
    they were in the hospital.


    IRAQI CORPORATION
    You have two cows.
    They go into hiding.
    They send radio tapes of their mooing.


    POLISH CORPORATION
    You have two bulls.
    Employees are regularly maimed and killed attempting to milk them.


    FLORIDA CORPORATION
    You have a black cow and a brown cow.
    Everyone votes for the best looking one.
    Some of the people who like the brown one best, vote for the black one.
    Some people vote for both.
    Some people vote for neither.
    Some people can't figure out how to vote at all.
    Finally, a bunch of guys from out-of-state tell you which is the
    best looking cow.


    CALIFORNIAN
    You have a cow and a bull.
    The bull is depressed.
    It has spent its life living a lie.
    It goes away for two weeks.
    It comes back after a taxpayer-paid sex-change operation.
    You now have two cows.
    One makes milk; the other doesn't.
    You try to sell the transgender cow.
    Its lawyer sues you for discrimination.
    You lose in court.
    You sell the milk-generating cow to pay the damages.
    You now have one rich, transgender, non-milk-producing cow. You change
    your business to beef. PETA pickets your farm. Jesse Jackson makes a
    speech in your driveway. Cruz Bustamante calls for higher farm taxes to
    help "working cows". Hillary Clinton calls for the nationalization of
    1/7 of your farm "for the children".
    Scharwzenager signs a law giving your farm to Mexico.
    The L.A. Times quotes five anonymous cows claiming you
    groped their teats.
    You declare bankruptcy and shut down all operations.
    The cow starves to death.
      The L.A. Times' analysis shows your business failure is Bush's fault.
    I am just a worthless liar. I am just an imbecile.
    I will only complicate you. Trust in me and fall as well.
    I will find a center in you. I will chew it up and leave.
    I will work to elevate you just enough to bring you down.

  2. Funny S**t   -   #2
    tesco's Avatar woowoo
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    that was good.

  3. Funny S**t   -   #3
    BANNED
    Join Date
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    i like the last one

  4. Funny S**t   -   #4
    By that was some serious fun.......I like cows

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