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Thread: The Aol Car

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Feb 2003
    1. The AOL car would have a top speed of 40 mph yet have

    a 200 mph speedometer.

    2. The AOL car would come equipped with a new and

    fantastic 8-track tape player.

    3. The car would often refuse to start and owners

    would just expect this and try again later.

    4. The windshield would have an extra dark tint to

    protect the driver from seeing better cars.

    5. AOL would sell the same model car year after year

    and claim it\'s the new model.

    6. Every now and then the brakes on the AOL car would

    just \"lock-up\" for no apparent reason.

    7. The AOL car would have a very plain body style but

    would have lots of pretty colors and lights.

    8. The AOL car would have only one door but it would have

    5 extra seats for family members.

    9. Anyone dissatisfied could return the car but must continue

    to make payments for 6 months.

    10. If an AOL car owner received 3 parking tickets AOL would

    take the car away from them.

    11. The AOL car would have an AOL cell phone that can only

    place calls to other AOL car cell phones.

    12. AOL would pass a new car law forbidding AOL car owners

    from driving near other car dealerships.

    13. AOL car mechanics would have no experience in car repair.

    14. Younger AOL car drivers would be able to make other peoples

    AOL cars stall just for fun.

    15. It would not be possible to upgrade your AOL car stereo.

    16. AOL cars would be forced to use AOL gas that cost 20% more

    and gave worse mileage.

    17. Anytime an AOL car owner saw another AOL car owner he would

    wonder, m/f/age?

    18. It would be common for AOL car owners to divorce just to marry

    another AOL car owner.

    19. AOL car owners would always claim to be older or younger than

    they really are.

    20. AOL cars would come with a steering wheel, and AOL would claim

    no other cars have them.

    21. Every time you close the door on the AOL car it would say \"good-

    22. The AOL car owner would only see other cars on the street if

    they are on their AOL car buddy list.

    23. The AOL car owner could block themselves out from other AOL car

    making it impossible to see where the other cars are going.

    24. If an AOL car is stolen, AOL would do nothing to get it back.

    B) For all you who are currently driving the AOL, it time to find a new car

  2. Lounge   -   #2
    And if microsoft made cars?

    1. Every time they repainted the lines on the road, you'd have to buy a new car.
    2. Occasionally your car would just die on the motorway for no reason, and you'd have to restart it. For some strange reason, you'd just accept this, restart and drive on.

    3. Occasionally, executing a manoeuvre would cause your car to stop and fail to restart and you'd have to re-install the engine. For some strange reason, you'd just accept this too.

    4. You could only have one person in the car at a time, unless you bought a "Car 95" or a "Car NT". But then you'd have to buy more seats.

    5. Amiga would make a car that was powered by the sun, was twice as reliable, five times as fast, twice as easy to drive - but it would only run on five percent of the roads.

    6. Macintosh car owners would get expensive Microsoft upgrades to their cars which would make their cars go much slower.

    7. The oil, engine, gas and alternator warning lights would be replaced with a single "General Car Fault" warning light.

    8. People would get excited about the "new" features in Microsoft cars, forgetting completely that they had been available in other cars for many years.

    9. We'd all have to switch to Microsoft gas and all auto fluids but the packaging would be superb.

    10. New seats would force everyone to have the same size butt.

    11. The airbag system would say "Are you sure?" before going off.

    12. If you were involved in a crash, you would have no idea what happened.

    13. They wouldn't build their own engines, but form a cartel with their engine suppliers. The latest engine would have 16 cylinders, multi-point fuel injection and 4 turbos, but it would be a side-valve design so you could use Model-T Ford parts on it.

    14. There would be an "Engium Pro" with bigger turbos, but it would be slower on most existing roads.

    15. Microsoft cars would have a special radio/cassette player which would only be able to listen to Microsoft FM, and play Microsoft Cassettes. Unless of course, you buy the upgrade to use existing stuff.

    16. Microsoft would do so well, because even though they don't own any roads, all of the road manufacturers would give away Microsoft cars free, including IBM!

    17. If you still ran old versions of car (ie. CarDOS 6.22/CarWIN 3.11), then you would be called old fashioned, but you would be able to drive much faster, and on more roads!

    18. If you couldn't afford to buy a new car, then you could just borrow your friends, and then copy it.

    19. Whenever you bought a car, you would have to reorganise the ignition for a few days before it worked.

    20. You would need to buy an upgrade to run cars on a motorway next to each other.

  3. Lounge   -   #3
    Join Date
    Dec 2002
    HELL-you will be too_$oon enough
    lol @ both of you
    thanks I needed that

  4. Lounge   -   #4
    Join Date
    Feb 2003
    thanx 1-800-NOCOPYS, Just think if AoL & microsoft join forces to make one super shit car

  5. Lounge   -   #5
    scribblec's Avatar Poster
    Join Date
    Jan 2003
    aol is not that bad

  6. Lounge   -   #6
    Originally posted by solidsnake@9 March 2003 - 16:36
    aol is not that bad
    lol. That must be because you 'drive' one, solidsnake. Hahaha.

  7. Lounge   -   #7
    SideSwiped's Avatar LB 3880
    Join Date
    Feb 2003
    Snake? You been smokin' crack?

    My mind works like lightning. One brilliant flash, and it's gone.

  8. Lounge   -   #8
    Originally posted by solidsnake@9 March 2003 - 22:36
    aol is not that bad
    OMG...So he's the one on AOL

  9. Lounge   -   #9
    scribblec's Avatar Poster
    Join Date
    Jan 2003
    not on aol no more moved to broadband
    but i meen they aint as bad as poeple make out

    have to stop smokin that shit


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