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Thread: Proximity Achieved

  1. #1
    j2k4's Avatar en(un)lightened
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    I have sensed a disturbance in the Force.

    Descending from the Fortress of Solitude I have made my way to the Lair of the AntiChrist and survived intial contact.

    Wild Turkey helped.


    'Pon the eve two nights past I beheld two lites approaching as if borne by the breeze.

    The silouette behind them opened to reveal the Wizard of the Western Arc, come for (finally&#33 the much hoped-for conclave.

    Luckily, I was armed with the appropriate elixor.

    Just so.
    Amazingly, my decrepit automobile carried me without incident from my home in Denver to the Great North ( read: Hell and Gone) and safely to the abode of j2k4, where a thorough CAT scan was administered ( believe it or not, this paragon of Republican heartlessness has a decided weakness for felines....go figure). The lovely "She Who Must Be Obeyed" was already abed, but we have since met and I haven't yet been banished, so the stage was set for a much anticipated corporeal meeting.

    It is odd to finally met, face to face, a cyber-voice you have come to know solely on the interweb. Preconceptions are tough to ignore, but surprisingly, mine weren't that far off.

    He really is the ogre you all imagine....


    A thoroughly urbane and debonair gentleman emerged from the transport cocoon, but appeared to be momentarly shaken...

    I wondered how my appearance would be countenanced (my slobbering, sniffing and snorting puts some people off); my western adjunct froze momentarily (I could swear I heard him utter the words: Hobbes-save me...!

    As help was not forthcoming, he steeled himself, fixed me with his steady gaze, and thrust out his hand:

    Hi-name's Clocker, sir.

    I believe I have an reservation at the inn?


    Within a short time, we were comfortably ensconced, each with a tumbler of the firey mixture in hand, fervently solving the troublesome problems vexing man.

    We have, at this juncture, disposed of exactly 57% of them, and are weighing the efficacy of leaving some of the work for others, 'cuz we need more booze.


    Accomodations are pleasingly warm and welcoming ( provided one can ignore the cruelly rendered corpses of Liberals and flabby thinkers that litter the immediate surround...and the Shrine of Ann Coulter is a bit garish for my taste, but one adapts...) and a grand time has been had.

    We are staring at the dregs of the bottle however, a situation that demands immediate rectification.

    So adieu for now, we shall continue soon....
    “Think about how stupid the average person is, and then realize that half of 'em are stupider than that.” -George Carlin

  2. Lounge   -   #2
    chalice's Avatar ____________________
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    Nice one, J2 and Clocker.

    I wouldn't mind being a fly on the wall in that bar.

  3. Lounge   -   #3
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    Whilst you are together

    Clocker - Could you confirm that the chap is indeed sans shed.

    J2 - Could you confirm that Clocker does indeed have the shiniest napper in Christendom.

    The bald eagle finally meets the bald timepiece, Fan-tastic

  4. Lounge   -   #4
    bigboab's Avatar Poster BT Rep: +1
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    J2! If he starts calling you Anna, go to your room and lock the door.
    The best way to keep a secret:- Tell everyone not to tell anyone.

  5. Lounge   -   #5
    j2k4's Avatar en(un)lightened
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    J'Pol-

    The pate is not what it seems-

    I am informed previous imagery was the result of an inaccurate reading of an "effects" book, which did not translate well to the digital camera used.

    What shed, again?

    It's slipped my sieve-like mind.

    JP,
    Sniper fire from the adjoining property owners has rendered a leisurely perusal of the grounds ah...erm...problematical. Perhaps the onset of darkness will afford me the cover necessary to ascertain if a shed does in fact exist.


    Boab-

    Too late; he's done that, and the lock malfunctioned.

    Luckily, no harm was done.

    BB,
    Anna has more body hair than j2. Mistaken identity will require more alcohol than is presently onboard.



    (None I could discern, anyway)

    Chalice-

    You mean that's not you?

    Clocker-go ahead and swat it.

    Being a fly on the wall here is an extremely hazardous proposition....the cats are very agile and aggressive.
    Would you care to employ a different cliche?
    “Think about how stupid the average person is, and then realize that half of 'em are stupider than that.” -George Carlin

  6. Lounge   -   #6
    chalice's Avatar ____________________
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    Sorry, J2, that's the only cliché I know.

    I've changed my mind. I'd rather be a malaria-bearing mosquito on the wall (with a penchant for purple prose inclined protected species).

  7. Lounge   -   #7
    j2k4's Avatar en(un)lightened
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    Originally posted by chalice@20 March 2004 - 02:45
    Sorry, J2, that's the only cliché I know.

    I've changed my mind. I'd rather be a malaria-bearing mosquito on the wall (with a penchant for purple prose inclined protected species).
    Well done, there!
    “Think about how stupid the average person is, and then realize that half of 'em are stupider than that.” -George Carlin

  8. Lounge   -   #8
    j2k4's Avatar en(un)lightened
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    I have been grievously misled.
    Spring has not sprung here at all.

    In fact, the body of Spring was found in an alley.
    Spring may never come to this God-forsaken spot.....

    Image Resized
    [img]http://server6.uploadit.org/files/clocker-Visitpost.jpg' width='200' height='120' border='0' alt='click for full size view'>

    We have been so occupied with exploring the sedative effect of Bacardi Select (Dark) Rum, that we almost forgot to post the evidence that would enable us to avoid the potential accusation of emulating NASA's effort's to mislead the world WAAAAAAY back on July 20th 1969.

    Here is irrefutable proof; we believe our endeavor to have trumped the "Pub Crawl" owing to the foresight we demonstrate by imbibing as we post; also the mileage factor must be recognized (1500 mi./2415 K.).

    J2 "imbibes", I savor...
    “Think about how stupid the average person is, and then realize that half of 'em are stupider than that.” -George Carlin

  9. Lounge   -   #9
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    J2

    Run, run like the wind (or should that be rum like the wind). This man is an impostor. He does not have the necessary chromeness of dome.

    You will have to look down on his head from above to confirm his identity. It's a dirty job but someone has to do it.

    Clocker

    Perhaps with your glasses not in front of your eyes you had not noticed, but J2 has commenced to disrobe, he may wish to look at your head soon. I would just let him, it is probably best in the long run.

  10. Lounge   -   #10
    From the Neighbors' spyhole

    Image Resized
    [img]http://server6.uploadit.org/files/clocker-Visitpost.jpg' width='200' height='120' border='0' alt='click for full size view'>

    "Knock again, Clocker, maybe she didn't hear you?"

    I can hear someone on the other side of the door. Hear that, someone is dialing a phone.

    Only 3 numbers? Must have forgetten the rest.

    J2 forgive me for being a naive Colorado boy, but you appear to have disrobed on the walk over here, is that the custom?

    Oh don't worry, it's no big deal. In fact this guy with a really cool car, flashing lights and all, comes and takes you to this "club", for a day or 2, and they feed you for free.

    Oh really, lets go back to your place and get you a new outfit on, I can meet your Mother later. Again, I'm not complaining, but she did take a shot at me last night out by the shed.

    Oh, you just got to get to know her, trick is living long enough to do so.
    Aren't we in the trust tree, thingey?

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