Your Ad Here Your Ad Here
Results 1 to 2 of 2

Thread: Ordering Pizza In 2008

  1. #1
    MagicNakor's Avatar On the Peripheral
    Join Date
    Nov 2002
    Posts
    5,401
    Operator:
    "Thank you for calling Domino's Pizza.
    May I have your national ID number?"

    Customer:
    "Hi, I'd like to place an order."

    Operator:
    "I must have your NIDN first, sir?"

    Customer:
    "My National ID Number, yeah, hold on, uh, it's
    6102049998-45-54610."

    Operator:
    "Thank you, Mr. Sheehan. I see you live at 1742 Meadowland Drive,
    and the phone number's 494-2366.
    Your office number over at Lincoln Insurance is 745-2302
    and your cell number's 266-2566.
    Email address is sheehan@ home.net
    Which number are you calling from, sir?"

    Customer:
    "Huh? I'm at home. Where d'ya get all this information?"

    Operator:
    "We're wired into the HSS, sir."

    Customer:
    "The HSS, what is that?"

    Operator:
    "We're wired into the Homeland Security System, sir.
    This will add only 15 seconds to your ordering time"

    Customer:
    (Sighs) "Oh, well, I'd like to order a couple of your
    All-Meat Special pizzas."

    Operator:
    "I don't think that's a good idea, sir."

    Customer:
    "Whaddya mean?"

    Operator:
    "Sir, your medical records and commode sensors indicate that
    you've got very high blood pressure and extremely high cholesterol.
    Your National Health Care provider won't allow such an unhealthy
    choice."

    Customer:
    "What?!?! What do you recommend, then?"

    Operator:
    "You might try our low-fat Soybean Pizza. I'm sure you'll like
    it."

    Customer:
    "What makes you think I'd like something like that?"

    Operator:
    "Well, you checked out 'Gourmet Soybean Recipes' from your local
    library last week, sir. That's why I made the suggestion."

    Customer:
    "All right, all right. Give me two family-sized ones, then.

    Operator:
    "That should be plenty for you, your wife and your four kids,
    and your 2 dogs can finish the crusts, sir. Your total is
    $49.99."

    Customer:
    "Lemme give you my credit card number."

    Operator:
    "I'm sorry sir, but I'm afraid you'll have to pay in cash.
    Your credit card balance is over its limit."

    Customer:
    "I'll run over to the ATM and get some cash before your driver
    gets here."

    Operator:
    "That won't work either, sir. Your checking account's overdrawn
    also."

    Customer:
    "Never mind! Just send the pizzas. I'll have the cash ready.
    How long will it take?"

    Operator:
    "We're running a little behind, sir. It'll be about 45
    minutes,sir.
    If you're in a hurry you might want to pick 'em up while you're
    out getting the cash, but then, carrying pizzas on a motorcycle can
    be a little awkward."

    Customer:
    "Wait! How do you know I ride a scooter?"

    Operator:
    "It says here you're in arrears on your car payments, so your car
    got repo'ed. But your Harley's paid for and you just filled the
    tank yesterday"

    Customer:
    Well I'll be a "@#%/$@&?#!"

    Operator:
    "I'd advise watching your language, sir. You've already got a
    July 4, 2006 conviction for cussing out a cop and another one I
    see here on September for contempt at your hearing for cussing at
    a judge." "Oh yes I see here that you just got out from a 90 day
    stay in the State Correctional Facility.
    Is this your first pizza since your return to society?

    Customer:
    (Speechless)

    Operator:
    "Will there be anything else, sir?"

    Customer:
    "Yes, I have a coupon for a free 2 liter of Coke."

    Operator:
    "I'm sorry sir, but our ad's exclusionary clause prevents us from
    offering free soda to diabetics. The New Constitution prohibits
    this.

    Thank you for calling Domino's Pizza!"

    things are quiet until hitler decides he'd like to invade russia
    so, he does
    the russians are like "OMG WTF D00DZ, STOP TKING"
    and the germans are still like "omg ph34r n00bz"
    the russians fall back, all the way to moscow
    and then they all begin h4xing, which brings on the russian winter
    the germans are like "wtf, h4x"
    -- WW2 for the l33t

  2. Lounge   -   #2
    bigboab's Avatar Poster BT Rep: +1
    Join Date
    Jul 2003
    Posts
    30,399
    Colud you just send me a Waldorf Salad instead please?
    The best way to keep a secret:- Tell everyone not to tell anyone.

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •