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Thread: *** Virus Alert ***

  1. #1
    hippychick's Avatar Memo, what memo? BT Rep: +5
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    *** VIRUS ALERT ***

    If you receive an email entitled "Fighting Canaries," delete it immediately. Do not open it! It will not only erase everything on your hard drive, but it will also delete anything on disks within 20 feet of your computer.

    It demagnetises the stripes on ALL of your credit cards.
    It reprograms your ATM access code, screws up the tracking on your VCR and uses subspace field harmonics to scratch any CD's you attempt to play.

    It will re-calibrate your refrigerator's coolness settings so all your ice cream melts and your milk curdles.
    It will program your phone autodial to call only your mother-in-law's number.

    This virus will mix antifreeze into your fish tank.
    It will drink all your beer.
    It will leave dirty socks on the coffee table when you are expecting company.

    Its radioactive emissions will cause your toe jam and bellybutton fuzz (be honest, you have some) to migrate behind your ears.
    It will replace your shampoo with Nair and your Nair with Rogaine, all while dating your current boy/girlfriend behind your back and billing their hotel rendezvous to your Visa card.
    It will cause you to run with scissors and throw things in a way that is only fun until someone loses an eye.

    It will give you Dutch Elm Disease and Tinea.
    It will rewrite your backup files, changing all your active verbs to passive tense and incorporating undetectable misspellings which grossly change theinterpretations of key sentences.

    If the "Badtimes" message is opened in a Windows95 environment, it will leave the toilet seat up and leave your hair dryer plugged in dangerously close to a full bathtub.

    It will not only remove the forbidden tags from your mattresses and pillows, but it will also refill your skim milk with whole milk.
    It will replace all your luncheon meat with Spam.
    It will molecularly rearrange your cologne or perfume, causing it to smell like dill pickles.

    It is insidious and subtle. It is dangerous and terrifying to behold. It is also a rather interesting shade of mauve.

    These are just a few signs of infection...

  2. Funny S**t   -   #2
    bujub22's Avatar THE GREAT
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  3. Funny S**t   -   #3
    100%'s Avatar ╚════╩═╬════╝
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    This is exactly what one of my friends does when he comes over.

  4. Funny S**t   -   #4

    Klite Clan : <span style='color:purple'> [ThE_Def-EndERS]</span>
    [Clan Site]

  5. Funny S**t   -   #5
    Keikan's Avatar ........
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    Have you ever heard about that virus that was going to be the next hitler or something
    Ohh noo!!! I make dribbles!!!

  6. Funny S**t   -   #6
    cpt_azad's Avatar Colonel
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    Originally posted by Keikan@14 April 2004 - 18:28
    Have you ever heard about that virus that was going to be the next hitler or something
    ? enlighten me

    Jeff Loomis: He's so good, he doesn't need to be dead to have a tribute.

  7. Funny S**t   -   #7
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    yea come on then tell us&#33;&#33;&#33;&#33;&#33;&#33;&#33;

  8. Funny S**t   -   #8
    Keikan's Avatar ........
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    Originally posted by cpt_azad+14 April 2004 - 20:09--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (cpt_azad @ 14 April 2004 - 20:09)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'> <!--QuoteBegin-Keikan@14 April 2004 - 18:28
    Have you ever heard about that virus that was going to be the next hitler or something
    ? enlighten me [/b][/quote]
    http://securityresponse.symantec.com/avcen...virus.hoax.html

    Heads up everybody. I appears that the Hitler virus is on the loose. The Hitler virus doesn&#39;t crash your system or wipe out your hard drive. No, it takes over your computer and sets out to conquer the world -- starting with you&#33; Yes, the Hitler virus is designed to bend you to its aims. It will use your PC as a power base to enslave you and put you to work duplicating the Hitler virus on your neighbor&#39;s PC. The Hitler virus will not harm you until you are no longer necessary to it&#39;s goals. Your life will be a living hell once your PC is infected. Your PC will first access the Hitler virus web site and download a gigabyte of support files. You say you don&#39;t have a gigabyte of free space? Hah&#33; You&#39;ll be marching down to the store to buy a new hard drive&#33; Once the gigabyte of support files are downloaded, your PC will be playing a lot of milaristic music and it will be shouting orders at you. And if you try to leave the house against orders, your PC will phone the police and have you arrested. I bet you&#39;re thinking that you will never become the stooge of your PC. Hah again&#33; The Hitler is unprincipled in the extreme. It will grab your bank balance and your nest egg and every other asset it can lay its electronic hands on. When your PC shows you what it&#39;s got and what it can do to you, you&#39;ll march. Yeah, you&#39;ll march and you&#39;ll follow and your PC will lead. You think the Michelangelo virus was bad? What did the Michelangelo virus ever do to you? Sure it downloaded all that pornography from the same sex newsgroup. But the Hitler virus is _mean_ and I do mean _mean_. I hope your PC isn&#39;t infected. Because the only way to remove the Hitler virus is to bomb your house into rubble...
    Ohh noo!!! I make dribbles!!!

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