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Thread: Proof Of The Non-existence Of Santa Claus

  1. #1
    ashutosh_cool16's Avatar Internet Addict
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    Is there a Santa Claus?
    No known species of reindeer can fly. BUT there are
    300,000 species of living organisms yet to be
    classified, and while most of these are insects and
    germs, this does not COMPLETELY rule out flying
    reindeer which only Santa has ever seen.

    There are 2 billion children (persons under 18) in the
    world. BUT since Santa doesn't (appear) to handle the
    Muslim, Hindu, Jewish and Buddhist children, that
    reduces the workload to 15% of the total - 378 million
    according to Population Reference Bureau. At an
    average (census) rate of 3.5 children per household,
    that's 91.8 million homes. One presumes there's at
    least one good child in each.

    Santa has 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks
    to the different time zones and the rotation of the
    earth, assuming he travels east to west (which seems
    logical). This works out to 822.6 visits per second.
    This is to say that for each Christian household with
    good children, Santa has 1/1000th of a second to park,
    hop out of the sleigh, jump down the chimney, fill the
    stockings, distribute the remaining presents under the
    tree, eat whatever snacks have been left, get back up
    the chimney, get back into the sleigh and move on to
    the next house. Assuming that each of these 91.8
    million stops are evenly distributed around the earth
    (which, of course, we know to be false but for the
    purposes of our calculations we will accept), we are
    now talking about .78 miles per household, a total
    trip of 75-1/2 million miles, not counting stops to do
    what most of us must do at least once every 31 hours,
    plus feeding and etc.

    This means that Santa's sleigh is moving at 650 miles
    per second, 3,000 times the speed of sound. For
    purposes of comparison, the fastest man-made vehicle
    on earth, the Ulysses space probe, moves at a poky
    27.4 miles per second; a conventional reindeer can
    run, tops, 15 miles per hour.

    The payload on the sleigh adds another interesting
    element. Assuming that each child gets nothing more
    than a medium-sized lego set (2 pounds), the sleigh is
    carrying 321,300 tons, not counting Santa, who is
    invariably described as overweight. On land,
    conventional reindeer can pull no more than 300
    pounds. Even granting that "flying reindeer" (see
    point #1) could pull TEN TIMES the normal anoint, we
    cannot do the job with eight, or even nine. We need
    214,200 reindeer. This increases the payload - not
    even counting the weight of the sleigh - to 353,430
    tons. Again, for comparison - this is four times the
    weight of the Queen Elizabeth.

    353,000 tons traveling at 650 miles per second creates
    enormous air resistance - this will heat the reindeer
    up in the same fashion as spacecrafts re-entering the
    earth's atmosphere. The lead pair of reindeer will
    absorb 14.3 QUINTILLION joules of energy. Per second.
    Each. In short, they will burst into flame almost
    instantaneously, exposing the reindeer behind them,
    and create deafening sonic booms in their wake. The
    entire reindeer team will be vaporized within 4.26
    thousandths of a second. Santa, meanwhile, will be
    subjected to centrifugal forces 17,500.06 times
    greater than gravity. A 250-pound Santa (which seems
    ludicrously slim) would be pinned to the back of his
    sleigh by 4,315,015 pounds of force.
    [IMG]http://img272.echo.cx/img272/9836/band8sw.gif[IMG]

  2. Funny S**t   -   #2
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    They don't exist lol


    <span style='font-family:Geneva'><span style='font-size:8pt;line-height:100%'><span style='color:red'> &quot;Its all fun and games till someone looses an eye......THEN its a sport&#33;&#33;&quot;
    - danyj</span></span></span>

  3. Funny S**t   -   #3
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    Ok, geek u could haf just told us in 1 sentence that he doesnt exist. No need 4 the super hard calculations.

























































    The most addicktive music in the world is...William hung&#39;s&#33;&#33; Nah jk he can just suck my hotdog.

  4. Funny S**t   -   #4
    tesco's Avatar woowoo
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    Originally posted by destroyerofevil@30 April 2004 - 20:29
    Ok, geek u could haf just told us in 1 sentence that he doesnt exist. No need 4 the super hard calculations.
    ~~~~~~~~~

    thats what makes it funny

  5. Funny S**t   -   #5
    Arm's Avatar Poster
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    Bullshit Santa Claus exists. But thanks to the United States he is not in custody for 600 billion counts of breaking and entering and hundreds of millions of counts of theft of food(usually milk and cookies).

    Operation Red Dawn

  6. Funny S**t   -   #6
    Smith's Avatar Since 1989.. BT Rep: +1
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    lol, someone in my class did this for his speech last year

  7. Funny S**t   -   #7
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    Anyways ash, where did u get this from?
    The most addicktive music in the world is...William hung&#39;s&#33;&#33; Nah jk he can just suck my hotdog.

  8. Funny S**t   -   #8
    ashutosh_cool16's Avatar Internet Addict
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    Originally posted by destroyerofevil@9 May 2004 - 02:35
    Anyways ash, where did u get this from?
    got it in a fwded mail.
    [IMG]http://img272.echo.cx/img272/9836/band8sw.gif[IMG]

  9. Funny S**t   -   #9
    Autumn Fox's Avatar n00b
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    Not a bad one

  10. Funny S**t   -   #10
    Aaron_T's Avatar A duck is watching.
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    not funny tho
    Those who dont learn from the past are doomed to repeat It.

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