Stupid Story's

**bujub22** · 05-07-2004, 08:41 PM

Lower Bail
Norristown, Pennsylvania
Accused of selling drugs, Howard Jones's attorney sought to lower his client's bail from $150,000 insisting that Jones would not think about fleeing. At that very instant, Jones sprinted out of the front door of the courtroom. He was caught fifty minutes later and his bail was raised to $500,000.

Cigarettes and Joints
New Jersey
New Jersey Trooper Glenn Lubertazzi stopped a car for speeding and began asking the three passengers routine questions. When of the them got a cigarette from them glove compartment, the officer noticed that the pack contained a marijuana joint. A search of the car turned up $32,000 of drug money and several pounds of marijuana.

Settled Scores
Washington DC
Two men called the local television station and said they had a score to settle with President Clinton. They swore to cut him from ear to ear. The Secret Service was called in. After tracing the call, the Service went to the men's homes where they discovered 200 marijuana plants. The men were charged with both crimes.

Dumb Criminal's Mother
Unknown
Police officer questioned a drug dealer's mother after her son was already in custody. The police wanted to know why the woman had thirty-thousand dollars in the glove compartment of her truck. The woman said she was saving it to put a prosthetic leg for her son. Her son, had both legs; he had used them to run from the police earlier that day.

Golf Trip
England
A German tourist supposedly on vaction showed up to customs with his golf bag. While making conversation about golf, the customs official realized that the man did not know what a handicap was. The official then ask the man to demonstrate his swing; the man swung the club backwards. Quickly grabbing the golf bag, officials discovered a substantial amount of heroine and marijuana.

Gas Company
Mexico
A group of drug traffickers cleverly decided to use a propane tanker to cross the border from Mexico to El Paso, Texas. They released the propane and concealed within the truck 6,240 pounds of marijuana. The men did not realize, however, that they had misspelled the name of the gas company.

**bujub22** · 05-07-2004, 08:44 PM

Less Than Before
Unknown
A man walked into a convenience stores and placed a twenty dollar bill on the counter, asking for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the robber pulled out a gun, demanding all the cash in the register. Quickly, the clerk acquiesced and the man fled, leaving the twenty on the counter. The total amount of money he got from the cash register was less than fifteen dollars.

What He Should Have done
Oklahoma City, OK
Dennis Newton was on trial for the armed robbery of a convenience store when he decided to fire his attorney. Oklahoma City District Attorney said Newton was doing a decent job until the store manage testified that Newton was indeed the robber. Newton jumped up, accused the woman of lying and then said, " I should have blown your f***ing head off" The defendant paused then added "If I had been the one that was there." The jury deliberated for twenty minutes before returning a verdict of guilty and recommended a sentence of thirty years.

Hot Weapons
Trenton, New Jersey
Carl Rankin, 35, is awarded with using the most original weapon in a robbery. Ranking allegedly threw a cup of hot coffee at the face of a clerk, reached into the register, grabbed the cash, and made his getaway. He was later arrested.

Look Who Is Beside You
Unknown
A man went into a convenience store and bought a bottle of beer. Standing at the counter to pay, he tells the clerk to give him all the money she has. Standing next to him was a uniformed police officer.

I'm 21!!!
Unknown
A man walked into the corner store with a shotgun and demanded all of the money from the cash register. After the cashier put the money in the bag as instructed, the man demanded the bottle of Scotch he saw behind the counter. The cashier refused to hand over the Scotch because he did not believe the man was 21. The robber swore he was, but still the clerk refused. Finally, the robber handed over his ID and proved that he was indeed twenty-one. As soon as he left, the cashier called and gave the police the name and address of the man who had just robbed the store. The suspect was arrested two hours later