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Thread: How To Shower...

  1. #1
    99shassan's Avatar Poster BT Rep: +1
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    How to Shower Like a Woman

    1. Take off clothing and place in sectioned laundry hamper according
    to lights and darks.

    2. Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see husband/boyfriend along the way, cover up any exposed areas.

    3. Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to
    do more sit-ups

    4. Get in shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah,
    wide loofah, and pumice stone.

    5. Wash hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added
    vitamins.

    6. Wash hair again to make sure it's clean.

    7. Condition hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced with
    natural avocado oil. Leave on hair for 15 minutes.

    8. Wash face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until
    red.

    9. Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and Jaffa cake body wash.

    10. Rinse conditioner off hair.

    11. Shave armpits and legs.

    12. Turn off shower.

    13. Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower. Spray mold spots with
    Tilex.

    14. Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country.
    Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.

    15. Check entire body for zits, tweeze hairs.

    16. Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.

    17. If you see husband/boyfriend along the way, cover up any exposed areas.


    How To Shower Like a Man

    1. Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave
    them in a pile.

    2. Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see wife along the way, shake
    wiener at her making the 'woo-woo' sound.

    3. Look at your manly physique in the mirror. Admire the size of your
    wiener and scratch your ass.

    4. Get in shower.

    5. Wash face

    6. Wash armpits.

    7. Blow nose in your hands and let water rinse them off.

    8. Make fart noises (real or artificial) and laugh at how loud they
    sound in the shower.

    9. Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.

    10. Wash butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.

    11. Shampoo hair.

    12. Make shampoo Mohawk.

    13. Pee.

    14. Rinse off and get out of shower.

    15. Partially dry off. Fail to notice water on floor because curtain
    was hanging out of tub the whole time.

    16. Admire wiener size in mirror again.

    17. Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.

    18. Return to bedroom with towel around your waist. If you pass wife,
    pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the 'woo-woo' sound
    again.

    19. Throw wet towel on bed.
    Changed SPAN settings in sig a YEAR after it was removed

  2. Lounge   -   #2
    S!X's Avatar L33T Member BT Rep: +5
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  3. Lounge   -   #3
    Love it!
    Q6600 @ 3.42Ghz | Gigabyte EP35-DS3R | EVGA 8800GT 721/1802/2006 w/ Accelero S1 | 4gb Crucial DDR2 @ 760mhz | 750gb Hitachi 7k1000 | Corsair 520HX | 2 x Samsung SyncMaster T240 24" | Windows 7 Ultimate

  4. Lounge   -   #4
    Monkeee's Avatar Post Whore
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    Originally posted by 99shassan@22 June 2004 - 23:52
    How To Shower Like a Man
    2. Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see wife along the way, shake
    wiener at her making the 'woo-woo' sound.

    12. Make shampoo Mohawk.

    13. Pee.

    16. Admire wiener size in mirror again.

    18. Return to bedroom with towel around your waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the 'woo-woo' sound again.
    HAHAHA NICE ONE

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