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Thread: Blonde Jokes

  1. #1
    hippychick's Avatar Memo, what memo? BT Rep: +5
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    LOL and Imma blonde


    Did you hear about the two blondes who froze to death in a drive-in movie?
    They went to see "Closed for the Winter."


    **************


    Why did the blonde resolve to have only 3 children? She heard that 1 out of
    every 4 children born in the world was Chinese.


    ***************


    A blonde hurries into the emergency room late one night with the tip of her
    index finger shot off. "How did this happen?" the emergency room doctor
    asked her. "Well, I was trying to commit suicide," the blonde replied.
    "What?" sputtered the doctor. "You tried to commit suicide by shooting your
    finger off?" "No, Silly!" the blonde said. "First I put the gun to my chest,
    and I thought: I just paid $6,000.00 for these breast implants, I'm not
    shooting myself in the chest." "So then?" asked the doctor. "Then I put the
    gun in my mouth, and I thought: I just paid $3000.00 to get my teeth
    straightened, I'm not shooting myself in the mouth." "So then?" "Then I put
    the gun to my ear, and I thought: This is going to make a loud noise. So I
    put my finger in the other ear before I pulled the trigger."


    *****************


    Did you hear about the near-tragedy at the mall? There was a power outage,
    and twelve blondes were stuck on the escalators for over four hours.


    *****************


    A blonde was driving home after a game and got caught in a really bad
    hailstorm. Her car was covered with dents, so the next day she took it to a
    repair shop. The shop owner saw that she was a blonde, so he decided to have
    some fun. He told her just to go home and blow into the tail pipe really
    hard, and all the dents would pop out. So, the blonde went home, got down on
    her hands and knees and started blowing into her tailpipe. Nothing happened.
    So she blew a little harder, and still nothing happen. Her roommate, another
    blonde, came home and said, "What are you doing? The first blonde told her
    how the repairman had instructed her to blow into the tail pipe in order to
    get all the dents to pop out. The roommate rolled her eyes and said, "Uh,
    like hello! You need to roll up the windows first."


    ****************


    A blonde was shopping at a Target Store and came across a silver thermos.
    She was quite fascinated by it, so she picked it up and brought it over to
    the clerk to ask what it was. The clerk said, "Why, that's a thermos.....it
    keeps some things hot and some things cold." "Wow, said the blonde, "that's
    amazing....I'm going to buy it!" So she bought the thermos and took it to
    work the next day. Her boss saw it on her desk. "What's that,' he asked?
    "Why, that's a thermos.....it keeps hot things hot and cold things cold,"
    she replied. Her boss inquired, "What do you have in it?" The blond replied,
    "Two popsicles, and some coffee".

  2. Funny S**t   -   #2
    cpt_azad's Avatar Colonel
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    Did you hear about the near-tragedy at the mall? There was a power outage,
    and twelve blondes were stuck on the escalators for over four hours.
    lmfao

    Jeff Loomis: He's so good, he doesn't need to be dead to have a tribute.

  3. Funny S**t   -   #3
    Autumn Fox's Avatar n00b
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    Originally posted by hippychick@30 June 2004 - 04:04
    (...)
    Did you hear about the two blondes who froze to death in a drive-in movie?
    They went to see "Closed for the Winter."

    (...)Did you hear about the near-tragedy at the mall? There was a power outage,
    and twelve blondes were stuck on the escalators for over four hours.

    (...)"Two popsicles, and some coffee".
    #1 & #3 are good, but i don't get #2.

  4. Funny S**t   -   #4
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    fox if u dont get #2 u must be blonde ... or many it happened to you
    sig removed by Sara...much too big, please read the rules and could you activate your pm's too

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