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Thread: Insomnia

  1. #1
    I haven't seen a disfunctional family in years. Why do I say this? Because we're all in the same boat, with the same stories, of the same Christmas dinner every year. We all know what it's like to watch mom and dad fight over money, hear dad yell when the new puppy pisses on the floor again, have your aunts argue over who was right in 1964. I don't think it's even a matter of question whether Sandy actually wants those good marks and that place as the cheerleading captain or it's her mother Nacy watching so snidely which pushes her to do it all. I don't think it's a question anymore of why daddy spends so much time at the office working with his new secretary and why they just don't go ahead and fuck on the dining room table in front of the whole family.
    There are no questios of who's wrong anymore, it's not even a mystery that we all are. I still have some questions though. Whatever happened to the Brady Buch familes and the leave it to Beavers? Did they all overdose many years ago when their seaons were cancelled and the cash stopped flowing?
    With so much understanding floating around why can't it sink in on a father when he hears his daughter's knocked up, or on a mother when she finds out her son does weed? Do they forget the fear, and the release and the cries for help? But what about the kids who get knocked up and do the weed. Have they forgotten the values they were told to know and love? Did they forget that they're supposed to love Jesus without a cause? Or did it just come early to realize that no one gives a fuck anymore? Another Sunday, another forced belief, another fake smile. We're so used to it that we go nuumb when it happens. We sit and watch while everything we've come to believe is ate away by obligation. How we plug our ears and hum when introduced to a rational thought and chant " hear no evil, see no evil, speak no evil. Knowledge is what damned us in the first place so I'm not taking that chance again".
    We're both sinning as you read this and as I type. I've sinned a million times over already this morning. So what's to happen to me and my salvation? Apparently I have to have an invitation to experience it and the mail man's already too late. It's not even that I have a choice in the matter. The prophecy's already been writen and I'm not the hero of the story. But apparently I still have free will just as long as it fits along with everything I'm told to do.
    God's a control freak and it's as simple as that. God's the kind of guy who always gets his way and if not he goes on a tantrum till we hand over the goods. He's the kid in the supermarket who everyone wants to kill. I don't question it...I know. NO offence to him but we haven't gotten along for a while.
    Me and God, we used to be pretty tight. Call him twice a day tell him what I fucked up and what he should fix....he was a good listener but he never really gave a shit. It was a one way relationship of what I have to do to make him happy.....I knew it wasn't going to work between us mostly because after fifteen years of calling he never called back. Jesus wasn't as bad. He knew what it was like to have no control over what would happen but he was a real doormat. Lucifer wasn't crazy.... he was just fucked up. Held a lot of grudges and thought everyone was against him. Mostly Gods fault if you ask me.
    Yeah I used to know them all but they all slowly turned into something I didn't understand. Apparently God isnt' so loving on the other side of the world. Actually he's an all out prick. He's pretty choosy about who he wants to be around but try and tell that to him. I guess I saw God as a father figure for a while. That was before he let me down with his mixed messages and his hypocritical ways. I think a lot of it rubbed off on me.
    I think religion is like cartoon shows. Some people grow out of them while others never do and that's just something we'll have to accept. Maybe someday they'll take a long look at that screen and realize it's all immature and maybe after that long look they'll clap and ask for more. Funny thing about people is that they can change at any time.
    So maybe there are more questions then just the ones I mentioned but so what? The great thing about me not talking about them is that you get to figure them out for yourself. Not everyone has the same priorities as the next person and that's what makes a person who they are. Just have fun figuring out who you are along the way.

  2. The Drawing Room   -   #2
    Wow.

    TD
    Peace of mind Findnot

    No time to work out? Try Folding instead.

  3. The Drawing Room   -   #3
    Snee's Avatar Error xɐʇuʎs BT Rep: +1
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    Sorry, too busy sinning to read that mess of a text block.

    And btw, Thorazine- look into it.

  4. The Drawing Room   -   #4
    ElvisLover's Avatar Gepper #1
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    I used to find it was down to too much amphetamines

  5. The Drawing Room   -   #5
    Originally posted by SnnY@13 July 2004 - 18:31
    Sorry, too busy sinning to read that mess of a text block.

    And btw, Thorazine- look into it.
    It is called a "word brick".

    I think I'll wait for the movie.
    Aren't we in the trust tree, thingey?

  6. The Drawing Room   -   #6
    Give me a break, I just wanna download the hottest song and movie with my kazaa lite 2.43, and after that, I will go to sleep
    ban band ban

  7. The Drawing Room   -   #7
    I wrote that when I was suffering from insomnia (hence the title of the thread) due to some hard times I was going through. But while thinking of it I realized that everyone at some point in their life has gone through the exact same troubles. Every family has problems and anyone who says theirs doesn't is lying. It's nothing to be ashamed of. Actually it's best to get it out of the way and get past it. Or that's the way I see it anyways.

  8. The Drawing Room   -   #8
    Originally posted by Anabelle@14 July 2004 - 04:02
    I wrote that when I was suffering from insomnia (hence the title of the thread) due to some hard times I was going through. But while thinking of it I realized that everyone at some point in their life has gone through the exact same troubles. Every family has problems and anyone who says theirs doesn't is lying. It's nothing to be ashamed of. Actually it's best to get it out of the way and get past it. Or that's the way I see it anyways.
    can't you realize there is no god in nature? if there is no human, there is no God. God is just the production of human beings' inferiority and fear. Every problem of yours is the effect of your own action. some come immediately, some come later. so you are not only responsible for yourself you are responsible for the society, when you realize everything is regulated by the nature law of cause and effect(think about it carefully, nothing is independent), you understand the reason doing good deed, not for god, but for yourself and others. the quality of joy helping others who need help is the best if you have ever done that and compared the joy with other joys such playing video games carefully. I learned these from Buddhism.

    well, I am not that great state of mind though I know it.
    ban band ban

  9. The Drawing Room   -   #9
    Snee's Avatar Error xɐʇuʎs BT Rep: +1
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    Originally posted by elitek+14 July 2004 - 05:54--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (elitek @ 14 July 2004 - 05:54)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'> <!--QuoteBegin-Anabelle@14 July 2004 - 04:02
    I wrote that when I was suffering from insomnia (hence the title of the thread) due to some hard times I was going through. But while thinking of it I realized that everyone at some point in their life has gone through the exact same troubles. Every family has problems and anyone who says theirs doesn&#39;t is lying. It&#39;s nothing to be ashamed of. Actually it&#39;s best to get it out of the way and get past it. Or that&#39;s the way I see it anyways.
    can&#39;t you realize there is no god in nature? if there is no human, there is no God. God is just the production of human beings&#39; inferiority and fear. Every problem of yours is the effect of your own action. some come immediately, some come later. so you are not only responsible for yourself you are responsible for the society, when you realize everything is regulated by the nature law of cause and effect(think about it carefully, nothing is independent), you understand the reason doing good deed, not for god, but for yourself and others. the quality of joy helping others who need help is the best if you have ever done that and compared the joy with other joys such playing video games carefully. I learned these from Buddhism.

    well, I am not that great state of mind though I know it. [/b][/quote]
    Now you are just getting all technical.

  10. The Drawing Room   -   #10
    its the only way I can control my emotion

    I found out most of the emotions are useless especially anger and hatred even love
    they are the reasons of why people get involved into this world and the causes of inequality, "I love watching movie, I like this movie I don&#39;t like that movie" actually, if you are not interested in watching movie, you will have no comment or discrimination on both movies. yep, all of us discriminate unless you lose your emotion

    emotionless is not indifference, one can be caring while he&#39;s emtionless, if you are indifferent, you are no more than a walking stone, according to cause and effect, you will be ingored by others. only when you are emotionless but caring, you will be cared. no one can ever evade the nature law. what is nature? nature itself doesn&#39;t have emotion, to understand it, you will have to lose all your emotion. it seems difficult but its possible.
    ban band ban

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