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Thread: Women Vs Men

  1. #1
    hippychick's Avatar Memo, what memo? BT Rep: +5
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    WOMAN'S PERFECT BREAKFAST
    >
    >She's sitting at the table with her gourmet
    >coffee. Her son is on the cover of the Wheaties
    >box. Her daughter is on the cover of Business Week.
    >Her boyfriend is on the cover of Playgirl. And her
    >husband is on the back of the milk carton.
    >
    >WOMEN'S REVENGE
    >
    >"Cash, check or charge?" I asked, after
    >folding items the woman wished to purchase. As she
    >fumbled for her wallet I noticed a remote control
    >for a television set in her purse. "So, do you
    >always carry your TV remote?" I asked. "No," she
    >replied, " but my husband refused to come shopping
    >with me, so I figured this was the most legal evil
    >thing I could do to him."
    >
    >UNDERSTANDING WOMEN (A MAN'S PERSPECTIVE)
    >
    >I know I'm not going to understand women. I'll
    >never understand how you can take boiling hot wax,
    >pour it onto your upper thigh, rip the hair out by
    >the root, and still be afraid of a spider.
    >
    >MARRIAGE SEMINAR
    >
    >While attending a Marriage Seminar dealing
    >with communication, Tom and his wife Grace listened
    >to the instructor, "It is essential that husbands
    >and wives know the things that are important to each
    >other." He addressed the man, "Can you describe
    >your wife's favorite flower?" Tom leaned over,
    >touched his wife's arm gently and whispered, "It's
    >Pillsbury, isn't it? The rest of the story gets
    >rather ugly, so I'll stop right here.
    >
    >CIGARETTES AND TAMPONS
    >
    >A man walks into a pharmacy and wanders up and
    >down the aisles. The sales girl notices him and asks
    >him if she can help him. He answers that he is
    >looking for a box of tampons for his wife. She
    >directs him down the correct aisle. A few minutes
    >later, he deposits a huge bag of cotton balls and a
    >ball of string on the counter. She says, confused,
    >"Sir, I thought you were looking for some tampons
    >for your wife? He answers, " You see, it's like
    >this, yesterday, I sent my wife to the store to get
    >me a carton of cigarettes, and she came back with a
    >tin of tobacco and some rolling papers; cause it's
    >sooooooooooo much cheaper. So, I figure if I have
    >roll my own ............ so does she. (Of course . .
    >. I figure this guy is the one on the milk carton!
    >:-)
    >
    >WIFE VS. HUSBAND
    >
    >A couple drove down a country road for several
    >miles, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had
    >led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede
    >their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules,
    >goats, and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically,
    >"Relatives of yours?" "Yep," the wife replied, "in-laws."
    >
    >WORDS
    >
    >A husband read an article to his wife about
    >how many words women use a day... 30,000 to a man's
    >15,000. The wife replied, "The reason has to be
    >because we have to repeat everything to men...
    >The husband then turned to his wife and asked,
    >"What?"
    >
    >
    >CREATION

    >A man said to his wife one day, "I don't know
    >how you can be so stupid and so beautiful all at the
    >same time. " The wife responded, "Allow me to explain.
    >God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me;
    >God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!
    >
    >BEAST
    >Husband and wife were in the midst of a
    >violent quarrel, and hubby was losing his temper.
    >"Be careful," he said to his wife. "You will
    >bring out the beast in me." "So what?" his wife shot
    >back. "Who is afraid of a mouse?"
    >
    >WHO DOES WHAT
    >
    >A man and his wife were having an argument
    >about who should brew the coffee each morning. The
    >wife said, "You should do it, because you get up
    >first, and then we don't have to wait as long to get
    >our coffee."The husband said, " You are in charge of
    >cooking around here and you should do it, because
    >that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee." Wife
    >replies, "No, you should do it, and besides, it is
    >in the Bible that the man should do the coffee."
    >Husband replies, "I can't believe that, show me."
    >
    >So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New
    >Testament and showed him at the top of several
    >pages, that it indeed says.........."HEBREWS"
    >

  2. Funny S**t   -   #2
    Hi Hippychick,Liked your jokes,kept me amused for a while.

    Its 3-50 am here and its sooo hot I cant sleep even with the air con working.

    Cant play music or anything as the rest of the family are asleep so the Forum is one way of not getting totally pissed off.

    Now gonna try to do a bit more on a PC game. Doing Alone in the Dark at the moment but im stuck at a crucial part. Hope the old brain can sort it out.!!

    Gillxx

  3. Funny S**t   -   #3
    tesco's Avatar woowoo
    Join Date
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    Canadia
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    Originally posted by hippychick@25 July 2004 - 18:56
    >CIGARETTES AND TAMPONS
    >
    >A man walks into a pharmacy and wanders up and
    >down the aisles. The sales girl notices him and asks
    >him if she can help him. He answers that he is
    >looking for a box of tampons for his wife. She
    >directs him down the correct aisle. A few minutes
    >later, he deposits a huge bag of cotton balls and a
    >ball of string on the counter. She says, confused,
    >"Sir, I thought you were looking for some tampons
    >for your wife? He answers, " You see, it's like
    >this, yesterday, I sent my wife to the store to get
    >me a carton of cigarettes, and she came back with a
    >tin of tobacco and some rolling papers; cause it's
    >sooooooooooo much cheaper. So, I figure if I have
    >roll my own ............ so does she. (Of course . .
    >. I figure this guy is the one on the milk carton!
    >:-)

  4. Funny S**t   -   #4
    cpt_azad's Avatar Colonel
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    Surrey, BC
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    that it indeed says.........."HEBREWS"
    LMFAO

    Jeff Loomis: He's so good, he doesn't need to be dead to have a tribute.

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