WOMAN'S PERFECT BREAKFAST
>
>She's sitting at the table with her gourmet
>coffee. Her son is on the cover of the Wheaties
>box. Her daughter is on the cover of Business Week.
>Her boyfriend is on the cover of Playgirl. And her
>husband is on the back of the milk carton.
>
>WOMEN'S REVENGE
>
>"Cash, check or charge?" I asked, after
>folding items the woman wished to purchase. As she
>fumbled for her wallet I noticed a remote control
>for a television set in her purse. "So, do you
>always carry your TV remote?" I asked. "No," she
>replied, " but my husband refused to come shopping
>with me, so I figured this was the most legal evil
>thing I could do to him."
>
>UNDERSTANDING WOMEN (A MAN'S PERSPECTIVE)
>
>I know I'm not going to understand women. I'll
>never understand how you can take boiling hot wax,
>pour it onto your upper thigh, rip the hair out by
>the root, and still be afraid of a spider.
>
>MARRIAGE SEMINAR
>
>While attending a Marriage Seminar dealing
>with communication, Tom and his wife Grace listened
>to the instructor, "It is essential that husbands
>and wives know the things that are important to each
>other." He addressed the man, "Can you describe
>your wife's favorite flower?" Tom leaned over,
>touched his wife's arm gently and whispered, "It's
>Pillsbury, isn't it? The rest of the story gets
>rather ugly, so I'll stop right here.
>
>CIGARETTES AND TAMPONS
>
>A man walks into a pharmacy and wanders up and
>down the aisles. The sales girl notices him and asks
>him if she can help him. He answers that he is
>looking for a box of tampons for his wife. She
>directs him down the correct aisle. A few minutes
>later, he deposits a huge bag of cotton balls and a
>ball of string on the counter. She says, confused,
>"Sir, I thought you were looking for some tampons
>for your wife? He answers, " You see, it's like
>this, yesterday, I sent my wife to the store to get
>me a carton of cigarettes, and she came back with a
>tin of tobacco and some rolling papers; cause it's
>sooooooooooo much cheaper. So, I figure if I have
>roll my own ............ so does she. (Of course . .
>. I figure this guy is the one on the milk carton!
>:-)
>
>WIFE VS. HUSBAND
>
>A couple drove down a country road for several
>miles, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had
>led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede
>their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules,
>goats, and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically,
>"Relatives of yours?" "Yep," the wife replied, "in-laws."
>
>WORDS
>
>A husband read an article to his wife about
>how many words women use a day... 30,000 to a man's
>15,000. The wife replied, "The reason has to be
>because we have to repeat everything to men...
>The husband then turned to his wife and asked,
>"What?"
>
>
>CREATION
>A man said to his wife one day, "I don't know
>how you can be so stupid and so beautiful all at the
>same time. " The wife responded, "Allow me to explain.
>God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me;
>God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!
>
>BEAST
>Husband and wife were in the midst of a
>violent quarrel, and hubby was losing his temper.
>"Be careful," he said to his wife. "You will
>bring out the beast in me." "So what?" his wife shot
>back. "Who is afraid of a mouse?"
>
>WHO DOES WHAT
>
>A man and his wife were having an argument
>about who should brew the coffee each morning. The
>wife said, "You should do it, because you get up
>first, and then we don't have to wait as long to get
>our coffee."The husband said, " You are in charge of
>cooking around here and you should do it, because
>that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee." Wife
>replies, "No, you should do it, and besides, it is
>in the Bible that the man should do the coffee."
>Husband replies, "I can't believe that, show me."
>
>So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New
>Testament and showed him at the top of several
>pages, that it indeed says.........."HEBREWS"
>
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