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Thread: From A Man's Perspective

  1. #1
    hippychick's Avatar Memo, what memo? BT Rep: +5
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    No sex tonight?

    I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing.

    I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.

    FOR EXAMPLE:

    One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed.
    Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me."

    I said "WHAT????!!! What was that?!" So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear..."You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical

    needs as a man."

    She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?" Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

    The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried

    on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take so I told her we'll just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit.

    We went onto the jewellery department where she picked out a pair of gold earrings. Let me tell you...she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing

    me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey."

    She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier."


    I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it."
    Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled "WHAT???!!!"

    I then said, "Really honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman."


    And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"


    Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either.

  2. Funny S**t   -   #2
    TheDave's Avatar n00b
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    nice one

  3. Funny S**t   -   #3
    Monkeee's Avatar Post Whore
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    lmfao i gotta say that if the situtation ever comes up

  4. Funny S**t   -   #4
    Autumn Fox's Avatar n00b
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    Originally posted by Monkeee@17 August 2004 - 05:03
    lmfao i gotta say that if the situtation ever comes up
    Same here

  5. Funny S**t   -   #5
    cpt_azad's Avatar Colonel
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    i'm gonna use that later on

    Jeff Loomis: He's so good, he doesn't need to be dead to have a tribute.

  6. Funny S**t   -   #6
    tesco's Avatar woowoo
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    that's soo great!

  7. Funny S**t   -   #7
    Darth Sushi's Avatar Sushi Lord
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    This is brilliant!

  8. Funny S**t   -   #8
    99shassan's Avatar Poster BT Rep: +1
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    LOL
    Changed SPAN settings in sig a YEAR after it was removed

  9. Funny S**t   -   #9
    ziggyjuarez's Avatar Poster
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  10. Funny S**t   -   #10
    Spicker's Avatar AKA jaigandhi5 BT Rep: +7BT Rep +7
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    Originally posted by ziggyjuarez@18 August 2004 - 19:58
    stop it with that its scary


    that was funny

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