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Thread: sex & calories

  1. #1
    hippychick's Avatar Memo, what memo? BT Rep: +5
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    REMOVING HER CLOTHES:

    With her consent: 12 calories
    Without her consent 2187 calories

    OPENING HER BRA:

    With both hands: 8 calories
    With one hand: 12 calories
    With your teeth: 485 calories

    PUTTING ON A CONDOM:

    With an erection: 6 calories
    Without an erection: 3315 calories

    POSITIONS:

    Missionary: 12 calories
    69 Lying down: 78 calories
    69 Standing up: 812 calories
    Wheelbarrow: 216 calories
    Doggy Style: 326 calories
    Italian chandelier: 2912 calories

    ORGASMS:

    Real: 112 calories
    Fake: 1315 calories

    POST ORGASM:

    Lying in bed hugging: 18 calories
    Getting up immediately: 36 calories
    Explaining why you got out of bed immediately: 816 calories

    GETTING A SECOND ERECTION: If you are:

    20 - 29 years 36 calories
    30 - 39 years 80 calories
    40 - 49 years 124 calories
    50 - 59 years 1972 calories
    60 - 69 years 7916 calories
    70 and over Results are still pending

    DRESSING AFTERWARDS:

    Calmly: 32 calories
    In a hurry: 98 calories
    With her father knocking at the door: 5218 calories
    With your wife knocking at the door: 13,521 calories

  2. Funny S**t   -   #2
    DanB's Avatar Smoke weed everyday
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  3. Funny S**t   -   #3
    maskawaih's Avatar Custom User Title BT Rep: +3
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    DRESSING AFTERWARDS:

    With your wife knocking at the door: 13,521 calories

  4. Funny S**t   -   #4
    ...
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    wow this is so old, i remmeber i read this joke when i was like 5 yrs old.

  5. Funny S**t   -   #5
    cpt_azad's Avatar Colonel
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    Quote Originally Posted by maskawaih
    hahahahah lmfao best one i've seen this month (list)

    keep it up h. chick!

    Jeff Loomis: He's so good, he doesn't need to be dead to have a tribute.

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