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Thread: 69 things to do at walmart lolol

  1. #1
    Aaron_T's Avatar A duck is watching.
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    * Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them and stranding them at strategic locations.
    * Ride those little electronic cars at the front of the store.
    * Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten minute intervals throughout the day.
    * Start playing football -- see how many people you can get to join in.
    * Run up to an employee (preferably a male) while squeezing your legs together and yell, ''I need some tampons!!''
    * Try on bras over top of your clothes.
    * Make a trail of orange juice on the ground, leading to the restrooms.
    * While walking around the store, sing in your loudest voice possible ''Sex and Candy''
    * Walk up to an employee and tell him in an official tone, ''I think we've got a Code 3 in Housewares,'' and see what happens.
    * Tune all the radios to a polka station, then turn them all off and turn the volumes to ''10.''
    * Play with the automatic doors.
    * Walk up to complete strangers and say, ''Hi! I haven't seen you in so long!...'' etc. See if they play along to avoid embarrassment.
    * While walking through the clothing department, ask yourself loud enough for all to hear, ''Who BUYS this shit, anyway?''
    * Repeat Number 14 in the jewelry department.
    * Put pairs of women's panties on your head and walk around the store casually.
    * Leave small sacrifices or gifts in the hands of the mannequins.
    *. Play soccer with a group of friends, using the entire store as your playing field.
    * As the cashier runs your purchases over the scanner, look mesmerized and say, ''Wow. Magic!''
    * Put M&M's on layaway.
    * Move ''Caution: Wet Floor'' signs to carpeted areas.
    * Set up a tent in the camping department; tell others you'll only invite them in if they bring pillows from Bed and Bath.
    * Contaminate the entire auto department by sampling all the spray air fresheners.
    * Nonchalantly ''test'' the brushes and combs in Cosmetics.
    * Drape a blanket around your shoulders and run around saying,''...I'm Batman. Come, Robin -- to the Batcave!"
    * TP as much of the store as possible.
    * Randomly throw things over into neighboring aisles.
    * Play with the calculators so that they all spell ''hello'' upside down. (01134)
    * When someone asks if you need help, begin to cry and ask, ''Why won't you people just leave me alone?"
    * When two or three people are walking ahead of you, run between them, yelling, ''Red Rover!''
    * Look right into the security camera, and use it as a mirror while you pick your nose.
    * Take up an entire aisle in Toys by setting up a full-scale battlefield with G.I. Joes vs. the X-Men.
    * Take bets on the battle described above.
    * Set up another battlefield with G.I. Joes vs. Barbie. (Red lipstick might give an interesting effect...)
    * While handling guns in the hunting department, suddenly ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are. Act as spastic as possible.
    * While no one's watching, quickly switch the men's and women's signs on the doors of the restrooms.
    * Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from ''Mission: Impossible.'
    * Attempt to fit into very large gym bags.
    * Attempt to fit others into very large gym bags.
    * Fill an entire cart with boxes of condoms, and watch everyone's jaws drop when you attempt to buy them.
    * Set up a ''Valet Parking'' sign in front of the store.
    * Two words: ''Marco Polo.'
    * Leave Cheerios in Lawn and Garden, pillows in the pet food aisle, etc.
    * ''Re-alphabetize'' the CDs in Electronics.
    * In the auto department, practice your ''Madonna'' look with various funnels. * Hide in the clothing racks and when people browse through, say things like ''the fat man walks alone,'' and scare them into believing that the clothes are talking to them.
    * While walking around alone, pretend someone is with you and get into a very serious conversation. Exp: The person is breaking up with you and you begin crying ''How could you do this to me? I thought you loved me! I knew there was another girl, but I thought I had won.'' Then act as though you are being beaten and fall onto the ground screaming and having convulsions.
    * When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream, ''No, no! It's those voices again!''
    * Go to an empty checkout stand and try to check people out.
    * Drag a lounge chair on display over to the magazines and relax.If the store has a food court, buy a soft drink; explain that you don't get out much, and ask if they can put a little umbrella in it.
    * Get a stuffed animal, go to the front of the store and begin stroking it lovingly, saying ''Good girl, good Bessie."
    * Go over to the shoe department and try on every pair of shoes, not putting one pair back. Take the paper from the boxes and throw it in various aisles.
    * When someone steps away from their cart to look at something, quickly make off with it without saying a word.
    * Follow people through the aisles, always staying about five feet away. Continue to do this until they leave the department.
    * Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon.
    * Test the fishing rods and see what you can ''catch'' from the other aisles.
    * In the makeup department, spray yourself with every perfume there is, then walk up to a boy who is with a girl and start flirting with him as ditisily as possible: ''Hi! (giggle) What's your sign? (giggle).'' When the boy shows no interest, start hitting on the girl the exact same way. ''Hi! (giggle) What's your sign? (giggle).''
    * Hold indoor shopping cart races.
    * Re-dress the mannequins as you see fit.
    * When there are people behind you, walk REALLY SLOW, especially through narrow aisles. * Relax in the patio furniture until you get kicked out.
    * Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift wrap. * Pay off layaways fifty cents at a time.
    * Say things like, ''Would you be so kind as to direct me to your Twinkies?''
    * Make up nonsense products and ask newly hired employees if there are any in stock, i.e., ''Do you have any Shnerples here?''
    * Ride a display bicycle through the store -- claim you're taking it for a ''test drive.''
    * Leave cryptic messages on the typewriters.
    * Get boxes of condoms and randomly slip them into peoples' carts when they aren't paying attention.


  2. Lounge   -   #2
    Aaron_T's Avatar A duck is watching.
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    anyone who reads this all the way through deserves a medal lol

  3. Lounge   -   #3
    DanB's Avatar Smoke weed everyday
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    You have a lot of experience of Walmart then?

  4. Lounge   -   #4
    Aaron_T's Avatar A duck is watching.
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    Quote Originally Posted by danb
    You have a lot of experience of Walmart then?
    yes i shop there every week

  5. Lounge   -   #5
    DanB's Avatar Smoke weed everyday
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    Didn't realise you were in America, I thought you were in Newcastle.

  6. Lounge   -   #6
    Aaron_T's Avatar A duck is watching.
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    Quote Originally Posted by danb
    Didn't realise you were in America, I thought you were in Newcastle.
    oh yes, i shop at one of the many stores nationwide.

  7. Lounge   -   #7
    DanB's Avatar Smoke weed everyday
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    You mean the shop that is called Asda?

  8. Lounge   -   #8
    manker's Avatar effendi
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    Sunderland, Dan. Azzz is from Sunderland
    I plan on beating him to death with his kids. I'll use them as a bludgeon on his face. -

    --Good for them if they survive.

  9. Lounge   -   #9
    Aaron_T's Avatar A duck is watching.
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    its Newcastle actually, well thats what my profile says anyways

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