Your Ad Here Your Ad Here
Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 13

Thread: How to shower...

  1. #1
    hippychick's Avatar Memo, what memo? BT Rep: +5
    Join Date
    Dec 2003
    Location
    In a State Of Confusion
    Posts
    3,506
    How To Shower Like a Woman

    Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.

    Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.

    Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.

    Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah,
    wide loofah and pumice stone.

    Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.

    Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean. Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced.

    Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.

    Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
    Rinse conditioner off hair.

    Shave armpits and legs. Turn off shower. Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower. Spray mold spots with Tilex.

    Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country.

    Wrap hair in super absorbent towel. Check entire body for zits, tweeze hairs.

    Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.

    If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.



    How To Shower Like a Man

    Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.

    Walk naked to the bathroom.

    If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the 'woo-woo' sound.

    Look at your manly physique in the mirror.

    Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your behind.

    Get in the shower. Wash your face. Wash your armpits.

    Blow you' re nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.

    Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.

    Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.

    Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.

    Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.

    Pee.

    Rinse off and get out of shower. Partially dry off.

    Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was
    hanging out of tub the whole time.

    Admire wiener size in mirror again.

    Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.

    Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife,
    pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the 'woo-woo' sound again.

    Throw wet towel on bed.

  2. Funny S**t   -   #2
    natedogg's Avatar R.I.P. Nate Dogg :(
    Join Date
    Dec 2003
    Location
    Castro Valley, California
    Posts
    3,053
    i pee when i get in the shower

  3. Funny S**t   -   #3
    ...
    Join Date
    Oct 2003
    Location
    ...
    Age
    28
    Posts
    1,291
    Quote Originally Posted by hippychick
    If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the 'woo-woo' sound.


  4. Funny S**t   -   #4
    maskawaih's Avatar Custom User Title BT Rep: +3
    Join Date
    Aug 2004
    Location
    Malaysia
    Age
    33
    Posts
    713
    If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the 'woo-woo' sound.
    like how? and how about with expressions?

  5. Funny S**t   -   #5
    did you get this from funny.com

  6. Funny S**t   -   #6
    hippychick's Avatar Memo, what memo? BT Rep: +5
    Join Date
    Dec 2003
    Location
    In a State Of Confusion
    Posts
    3,506
    Quote Originally Posted by sebastian_insua
    did you get this from funny.com
    Ummm no...I get most my jokes from friends that e-mail me...but now I will check out funny.com lol...

  7. Funny S**t   -   #7
    Quote Originally Posted by hippychick
    Ummm no...I get most my jokes from friends that e-mail me...but now I will check out funny.com lol...
    Funny.com is an awesome site, I wonder if there are any jokes on it which haven't been posted on this site?...

  8. Funny S**t   -   #8
    Retired
    Join Date
    Feb 2003
    Posts
    14,058
    If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the 'woo-woo' sound.

  9. Funny S**t   -   #9
    Darth Sushi's Avatar Sushi Lord
    Join Date
    Sep 2002
    Location
    Corisant
    Posts
    5,813
    I prefer "woo-hoo" ala Homer Simpson style.

  10. Funny S**t   -   #10
    Rat Faced's Avatar Broken
    Join Date
    Aug 2002
    Location
    Newcasil
    Age
    52
    Posts
    9,076
    Am i the only one to miss hippychicks old avatar?


    An It Harm None, Do What You Will

Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •