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Thread: Chemistry Exam

  1. #1
    DanB's Avatar Smoke weed everyday
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    The following is supposedly an actual question given on a University of
    Washington chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.

    Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

    Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas
    cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.

    One student, however, wrote the following:

    First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we
    need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at
    which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul
    gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for
    how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different Religions
    that exist in the world today.

    Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their
    religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these
    religions, and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we
    can project that all souls go to Hell.

    With birth and death rates as they
    are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially.

    Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's
    Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay
    the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are
    added.

    This gives two possibilities:
    1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls
    enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until
    all Hell breaks loose.

    2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in
    Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

    So which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my
    Freshman year that, "it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with
    you, and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then
    number 2 must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has
    already frozen over.

    The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has
    frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is
    therefore, extinct...leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of
    a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God".
    THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A


  2. Funny S**t   -   #2
    bujub22's Avatar THE GREAT
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    good 1

  3. Funny S**t   -   #3
    tesco's Avatar woowoo
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  4. Funny S**t   -   #4
    cpt_azad's Avatar Colonel
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    lmfao

    Jeff Loomis: He's so good, he doesn't need to be dead to have a tribute.

  5. Funny S**t   -   #5
    Illuminati's Avatar Simple Bystander BT Rep: +7BT Rep +7
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    Seen it before

    Although the two places it is at has significant variations of each other - Urban Legend perchance?


  6. Funny S**t   -   #6
    ahctlucabbuS's Avatar <
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    Edit:

    google search on the name of the chick:

    http://google.startsiden.no/index.html?q=Therese+Banyan

    Obviously a well known, and well funny story.
    Last edited by Barky; 11-16-2004 at 02:12 PM.

  7. Funny S**t   -   #7
    maskawaih's Avatar Custom User Title BT Rep: +3
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    gut gut.

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