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Thread: Canada busy sending back Bush-dodgers

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    Canada busy sending back Bush-dodgers

    The flood of American liberals sneaking across the border into Canada has intensified in the past week, sparking calls for increased patrols to stop the illegal immigration.

    The re-election of President Bush is prompting the exodus among left-leaning citizens who fear they'll soon be required to hunt, pray and agree with Bill O'Reilly.

    Canadian border farmers say it's not uncommon to see dozens of sociology professors, animal-rights activists and Unitarians crossing their fields at night.

    "I went out to milk the cows the other day, and there was a Hollywood producer huddled in the barn," said Manitoba farmer Red Greenfield, whose acreage borders North Dakota.

    The producer was cold, exhausted and hungry.

    "He asked me if I could spare a latte and some free-range chicken. When I said I didn't have any, he left. Didn't even get a chance to show him my screenplay, eh?"

    In an effort to stop the illegal aliens, Greenfield erected higher fences, but the liberals scaled them. So he tried installing speakers that blare Rush Limbaugh across the fields.

    "Not real effective," he said. "The liberals still got through, and Rush annoyed the cows so much they wouldn't give milk."

    Officials are particularly concerned about smugglers who meet liberals near the Canadian border, pack them into Volvo station wagons, drive them across the border and leave them to fend for themselves.

    "A lot of these people are not prepared for rugged conditions," an Ontario border patrolman said. "I found one carload without a drop of drinking water. They did have a nice little Napa Valley cabernet, though."

    When liberals are caught, they're sent back across the border, often wailing loudly that they fear retribution from conservatives. Rumors have been circulating about the Bush admin! istration establishing re-education camps in which liberals will be forced to drink domestic beer and watch NASCAR.

    In the days since the election, liberals have turned to sometimes ingenious ways of crossing the border.

    Some have taken to posing as senior citizens on bus trips to buy cheap Canadian prescription drugs. After catching a half-dozen young vegans disguised in powdered wigs, Canadian immigration authorities began stopping buses and quizzing the supposed senior-citizen passengers.

    "If they can't identify the accordion player on The Lawrence Welk Show, we get suspicious about their age," an official said.

    Canadian citizens have complained that the illegal immigrants are creating an organic broccoli shortage and renting all the good Susan Sarandon movies.

    "I feel sorry for American liberals, but the Canadian economy just can't support them," an Ottawa resident said. "How many art-history majors does one country need?"

    In an effort to ease tensions between th! e United States and Canada, Vice President Dick Cheney met with the Canadian ambassador and pledged that the administration would take steps to reassure liberals, a source close to Cheney said.

    "We're going to have some Peter, Paul & Mary concerts. And we might put some endangered species on postage stamps. The president is determined to reach out."


    By Joe Blundo who is a Columbus Dispatch columnist, in the morning edition on Nov. 16, 2004

  2. Funny S**t   -   #2
    vidcc's Avatar there is no god
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    itís an election with no Democrats, in one of the whitest states in the union, where rich candidates pay $35 for your votes. Or, as Republicans call it, their vision for the future.

  3. Funny S**t   -   #3
    Aren't we in the trust tree, thingey?

  4. Funny S**t   -   #4
    NikkiD's Avatar Yen?
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    LMAO



    *goes to watch the lake for signs of illegals*
    Last edited by NikkiD; 11-27-2004 at 03:10 AM.

  5. Funny S**t   -   #5
    cpt_azad's Avatar Colonel
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    lol

    *grabs gun and runs to back porch and keeps a vigil eye on backyard

    Jeff Loomis: He's so good, he doesn't need to be dead to have a tribute.

  6. Funny S**t   -   #6
    Arm's Avatar Poster
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    Ah first the poor Mexicans went to America and now the liberal Americans are going to Canada.

  7. Funny S**t   -   #7
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    I received this via e-mail the other day. I replied, telling my friend it is a good thing I am happy where I am at because I am way too set in my ways for a re-education camp.

  8. Funny S**t   -   #8
    Keikan's Avatar ........
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    really how hard is it to legally get into canada you don't have to sneak in
    Ohh noo!!! I make dribbles!!!

  9. Funny S**t   -   #9
    spinningfreemanny's Avatar I'm everything you want
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    Quote Originally Posted by Arm
    Ah first the poor Mexicans went to America and now the liberal Americans are going to Canada.

    Ok, heres my plan...

    Its called "Liberals for Latinos"...catchy, no?

    for every three Liberals (The number's really subjective) who wants passage into Canada, We bring a latino who wants to come to the U.S.


    Hey, its win win, I would choose a construction worker to a art history major to boost the economy anytime
    Do you know everything? do you know 3% of everything? Could it be that what you don't believe in is in the other 97%?

  10. Funny S**t   -   #10
    cpt_azad's Avatar Colonel
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    lol

    Jeff Loomis: He's so good, he doesn't need to be dead to have a tribute.

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