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Thread: Morning wood explained

  1. #1
    Cheese's Avatar Poster
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    What is morning wood?

    While many people will give you some goofy definition for morning wood that sounds like something out of a pornographic horror film, the true answer to the question "what is morning wood" is rather simple and mundane.

    Lumbermen for years have bemoaned the problems associated with morning wood. Many a lumberjack has delayed starting the days work-- out of fears he had morning wood.

    While it is widely known that the best hours to be roaming about in the forest is early in the morning, this is the very worst time of the day to cut timber.

    It is a biological fact that plant cells undergo certain changes as the daytime progresses along. For most species of tree, the cells in the wood fibers undergo some rather dramatic changes during the first few hours of the day.

    As you can see from the photos at left, trees that were felled early in the morning have a very poor grain structure and are weaker when used in construction.

    Nowadays, you rarely find morning wood. Most lumberjacks have discovered that a douse with some cold water typically eliminates the problem. By the time the lumber reaches the consumer, any morning wood has been culled out or doused with curative cold water.

    For those who are determined to see some morning wood for themselves, they should seek out their local county building inspector and ask to see some samples of morning wood. Most county inspectors are glad to help educate the public on this matter.

  2. Lounge   -   #2
    Mr. Mulder's Avatar pepper your angus BT Rep: +10BT Rep +10
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    bone own

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    Snee's Avatar Error xɐʇuʎs BT Rep: +1
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    Quote Originally Posted by Withcheese
    Nowadays, you rarely find morning wood.
    I beg to differ.

    I'm free tomorrow, so I'm offering one, no three lucky ladies, to share my secret stash.

  4. Lounge   -   #4
    Tool
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    Are you really sure you have enough to go round?

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    Snee's Avatar Error xɐʇuʎs BT Rep: +1
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    It'll be tricky, but I'll damn well give it my very best try.

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    TheDave's Avatar n00b
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    For those who are determined to see some morning wood for themselves, they should seek out their local county building inspector and ask to see some samples of morning wood. Most county inspectors are glad to help educate the public on this matter.
    i should try this

  7. Lounge   -   #7
    manker's Avatar effendi
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    pornographic horror film
    Anyone got a torrent link?
    I plan on beating him to death with his kids. I'll use them as a bludgeon on his face. -

    --Good for them if they survive.

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    Snee's Avatar Error xɐʇuʎs BT Rep: +1
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    It's a wonder neither Jonno, nor Yogi has posted in here yet.

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    Mathea's Avatar The Blonde Alibi BT Rep: +5
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    i hope I didnt miss the fun.....

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    Snee's Avatar Error xɐʇuʎs BT Rep: +1
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    Would you, by any chance like to be one of three very lucky ladies?

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