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Thread: Redneck love poem

  1. #1
    hippychick's Avatar Memo, what memo? BT Rep: +5
    Join Date
    Dec 2003
    In a State Of Confusion
    The Classic Redneck Love Poem

    Collards is green, my dog's name is Blue
    And I'm so lucky to have a sweet thang like you.
    Yore hair is like corn silk a-flapping in the breeze.
    Softer than ole Blue's and without all them fleas.

    You move like the bass, which excite me in May.
    You ain't got no scales but I luv you anyway.
    Yo're as satisfy'n as okry jist a-fry'n in the pan.
    Yo're as fragrant as "snuff" right out of the can.

    You have some'a yore teeth, for which I am proud;
    I hold my head high when we're in a crowd.
    On special occasions, when you shave under yore arms,
    Well, I'm in hawg heaven, and awed by yore charms.

    Still, them fellers at work, they all want to know,
    What I did to deserve such a purdy, young doe.
    Like a good roll of duct tape, yo're there fer yore man,
    To patch up life's troubles and fix what you can.

    Yo're as cute as a junebug a-buzzin' overhead.
    You ain't mean like those far ants I found in my bed.
    Cut from the best cloth like a plaid flannel shirt,
    You spark up my life more than a fresh load of dirt.

    When you hold me real tight like a padded gunrack,
    My life is complete; Ain't nuttin' I lack.
    Yore complexion, it's perfection, like the best vinyl sidin'.
    Despite all the years, yore age, it keeps hidin'.

    Me 'n' you's like a Moon Pie with a RC cold drank,
    We go together like a skunk goes with stank.
    Some men, they buy chocolate for Valentine's Day;
    They git it at Wal-Mart, it's romantic that way.

    Some men git roses on that special day
    >From the cooler at Kroger. That's impressive," I say.
    Some men buy fine diamonds from a flea market booth.
    "Diamonds are forever," they explain, suave and couth.

    But for this man, honey, these won't do.
    Cause yor'e too special, you sweet thang you.
    I got you a gift, without taste nor odor,
    More useful than diamonds......


  2. Funny S**t   -   #2
    Cheese's Avatar Poster
    Join Date
    Sep 2003
    is everything.


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