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Thread: stella awards

  1. #1
    hippychick's Avatar Memo, what memo? BT Rep: +5
    Join Date
    Dec 2003
    In a State Of Confusion
    stella awards

    Once again, it's time to review the winners of the Annual Stella

    Awards. The Stella's are named after 81-year-old Stella Liebeck who

    spilled coffee on herself & successfully sued McDonalds. That case

    inspired the Stella Awards for the most frivolous successful lawsuits in

    the United States.


    6th place

    19-year-old Carl Truman of Los Angeles, California, won $74,000 &

    medical expenses when his neighbor ran over his hand with a Honda

    Accord. Mr. Truman apparently did not notice there was someone at the

    wheel of the car when he was trying to steal the hubcaps.

    5th place

    Terrence Dickson of Bristol, Pennsylvania, was leaving a house he had

    just finished robbing by way of the garage. He was not able to get the

    garage door to go up since the automatic door opener was malfunctioning.

    He could not reenter the house because the door connecting the house &

    garage locked when he pulled it shut. The family were on vacation & Mr.

    Dickson found himself locked in the garage for 8 days. He subsisted on a

    case of Pepsi he found & a large bag of dry dog food. He sued the

    house owners insurance claiming the situation caused him undue mental

    anguish. The jury agreed to the tune of $500,000.

    4th place

    Jerry Williams of Little Rock, Arkansas, was awarded $14,500 & medical

    expenses after being bitten on the buttocks by his next door neighbor's

    Beagle dog. The Beagle was on a chain in its owner's fenced yard. The

    award was less than sought because the jury felt the dog might have been

    a little provoked at the time, as Mr. Williams who had climbed over the

    fence into the yard, was shooting it repeatedly with a pellet gun.

    3rd place

    A Philadelphia restaurant was ordered to pay Amber Carson of Lancaster,

    Pennsylvania, $113,500, after she slipped on a soft drink & broke her

    coccyx (tailbone). The beverage was on the floor because Ms. Carson had

    thrown it at her boyfriend 30 seconds earlier during an argument

    I hope Jessica doesn't read this!

    2nd place

    Kara Walton of Claymont, Delaware, sued the owner of a night club in a

    neighboring city when she fell from the bathroom window to the floor &

    knocked out two of her front teeth. This occurred whilst Ms. Walton was

    trying to crawl through the window in the ladies room to avoid paying

    the $3.50 cover charge. She was awarded $12,000 & dental expenses.

    1st place

    This year's winner was Mr. Merv Grazinski of Oklahoma City, Oklahoma.

    Mr. Grazinski purchased a brand new Winnebago Motor Home. On his trip

    home from an OU football game, having driven onto the freeway, he set

    the cruise control at 70 mph & calmly left the drivers seat to go into

    the back & make himself a cup of coffee. Not surprisingly, the Motor

    Home left the freeway, crashed & then overturned.

    Mr. Grazinski sued Winnebago for not advising him,by reading the

    owner's manual, that he actually could not do this. The jury awarded him

    $1,750,000 plus a new Winnebago Motor Home. The company actually

    changed their manuals on the basis of this suit just in case there were

    any other complete morons buying their recreation vehicles.

  2. Funny S**t   -   #2
    cpt_azad's Avatar Colonel
    Join Date
    Aug 2003
    Surrey, BC
    LMAO, some ppl really piss me off but u gotta give em props.

    Jeff Loomis: He's so good, he doesn't need to be dead to have a tribute.

  3. Funny S**t   -   #3
    Cheese's Avatar Poster
    Join Date
    Sep 2003
    is everything.


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