Your Ad Here Your Ad Here
Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 16

Thread: Headlines from the year 2029

  1. #1
    hippychick's Avatar Memo, what memo? BT Rep: +5
    Join Date
    Dec 2003
    Location
    In a State Of Confusion
    Posts
    3,506
    Headlines from the year 2029

    Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest country in the world,

    Mexifornia formally known as California. White minorities still trying to have English recognized as Mexifornia's third language.

    Spotted Owl plague threatens northwestern United States crops and livestock.

    Baby conceived naturally . scientists stumped.

    Couple petitions court to reinstate heterosexual marriage.

    Last remaining Fundamentalist Muslim dies in the American Territory of the Middle East (formerly known as Iran, Afghanistan, Syria and Lebanon).

    Iraq still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least 10 more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.

    France pleads for global help after being taken over by Jamaica.

    Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking.

    George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036.

    Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesdays only.

    85-year, $75.8 billion study: Diet and Exercise is the key to weight loss.

    Average weight of Americans drops to 250 lbs.

    Japanese scientists have created a camera with such a fast shutter speed, they now can photograph a woman with her mouth shut. (hey! I just sent it. I didn't write it!)

    Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative. Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil rights.

    Average height of NBA players now nine feet, seven inches.

    New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly swatters and rolled-up newspapers must be registered by January 2036.

    Congress authorizes direct deposit of formerly illegal political contributions to campaign accounts.

    Capitol Hill intern indicted for refusing to have sex with congressman.

    IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75 percent.

    Florida voters still having trouble with voting machines.

  2. Funny S**t   -   #2
    ziggyjuarez's Avatar Poster
    Join Date
    Mar 2004
    Location
    Portland, Oregon
    Age
    28
    Posts
    25,160
    0_o

  3. Funny S**t   -   #3
    Barbarossa's Avatar mostly harmless
    Join Date
    Jun 2002
    Location
    Over here!
    Posts
    19,631
    Quote Originally Posted by hippychick
    Japanese scientists have created a camera with such a fast shutter speed, they now can photograph a woman with her mouth shut.

  4. Funny S**t   -   #4
    Arm's Avatar Poster
    Join Date
    Jul 2003
    Location
    a well
    Age
    29
    Posts
    1,461
    Quote Originally Posted by hippychick
    Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative. Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil rights.
    Even though most of those were right-wing bullshit, that one kicks ass.

  5. Funny S**t   -   #5
    Formula1's Avatar Poster
    Join Date
    Sep 2003
    Location
    USA
    Posts
    3,786
    Yeah gotta agree

  6. Funny S**t   -   #6
    cpt_azad's Avatar Colonel
    Join Date
    Aug 2003
    Location
    Surrey, BC
    Posts
    6,741
    Right wing whaaaaaaaaaaaaat LOL

    France pleads for global help after being taken over by Jamaica.
    LMFAO oh man that's hilarious

    Jeff Loomis: He's so good, he doesn't need to be dead to have a tribute.

  7. Funny S**t   -   #7
    ahctlucabbuS's Avatar <
    Join Date
    Jan 2003
    Location
    Oslo
    Posts
    2,008
    Quote Originally Posted by Arm
    Even though most of those were right-wing bullshit, that one kicks ass.
    Well, that one is right up there with the rest.

  8. Funny S**t   -   #8
    ziggyjuarez's Avatar Poster
    Join Date
    Mar 2004
    Location
    Portland, Oregon
    Age
    28
    Posts
    25,160
    I suggest a Ban on hippychick for fact #1 shes a hippy #2 she is not funny
    Last edited by ziggyjuarez; 04-01-2005 at 07:17 AM.

  9. Funny S**t   -   #9
    hippychick's Avatar Memo, what memo? BT Rep: +5
    Join Date
    Dec 2003
    Location
    In a State Of Confusion
    Posts
    3,506
    Quote Originally Posted by ziggyjuarez
    I suggest a Ban on hippychick for fact #1 shes a hippy #2 she is not funny
    Ziggy dont like me no muh and wants to ban me :crying:
    I dont write the jokes I just post em
    And come to think about I do need a new name. I'm no longer a hippy, hmm any ideas???

  10. Funny S**t   -   #10
    TheDave's Avatar n00b
    Join Date
    Apr 2003
    Location
    yorkshire, england
    Age
    31
    Posts
    6,982
    resourcefulchick

Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •