Your Ad Here Your Ad Here
Results 1 to 7 of 7

Thread: Old blonde jokes

  1. #1
    hippychick's Avatar Memo, what memo? BT Rep: +5
    Join Date
    Dec 2003
    Location
    In a State Of Confusion
    Posts
    3,506
    Why do blondes like lightning?
    They think someone is taking their picture.

    Why did it take the blonde an hour to eat breakfast?
    Because the orange juice carton instructions said Concentrate ! !

    What do you do if a blonde throws a grenade at you?
    Pull the pin and throw it back at him.

    How did the blonde fall on the floor?
    He tripped over the cordless phone.

    How did the blonde try to kill a bird?
    He threw it off a mountain cliff !

    Why did the blonde climb the glass wall ?
    To see what was on the other side!

    How do you confuse a blonde?
    Put him in a round room and tell him to sit in one corner!

    Hear about the blonde that got an AM radio?
    It took him a month to realize he could play it at night.

    Why did the blonde going to the airport turn around and go home?
    Because he saw the sign that said "Airport Left".

    Two blondes were walking through the woods and they came to some tracks.
    The first blonde said "These look like deer tracks,"
    and the other blonde said, "No, they look like moose tracks."
    They argued and argued, and they were still arguing when the train hit them.

    Why can't a blonde dial 911?
    He can't find the 11 on the phone!

    How do you keep a blonde in suspense?
    I'll tell you tomorrow!

  2. Funny S**t   -   #2
    DanB's Avatar Smoke weed everyday
    Join Date
    Jun 2003
    Location
    London, so fuck y'all
    Age
    38
    Posts
    22,104
    old but funny, bit like my gran

  3. Funny S**t   -   #3
    sparsely's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2002
    Location
    static hum
    Posts
    3,538
    blonde & brunette in a bar
    a cell phone rings
    Brunette (to blonde): Isn't that your phone ringing?
    Blonde: Couldn't be. Nobody knows I'm here.

    :|

    this post is guaranteed 100% parrot-free

  4. Funny S**t   -   #4
    DanB's Avatar Smoke weed everyday
    Join Date
    Jun 2003
    Location
    London, so fuck y'all
    Age
    38
    Posts
    22,104

  5. Funny S**t   -   #5

    Cool

    LOL nice.....hey i got one too

    Why did the blonde gurl fuck a mexican?????
    because the teacher told her to do an essay!!

  6. Funny S**t   -   #6
    ziggyjuarez's Avatar Poster
    Join Date
    Mar 2004
    Location
    Portland, Oregon
    Age
    28
    Posts
    25,160
    Quote Originally Posted by Sparsely
    blonde & brunette in a bar
    a cell phone rings
    Brunette (to blonde): Isn't that your phone ringing?
    Blonde: Couldn't be. Nobody knows I'm here.

    :|
    great

  7. Funny S**t   -   #7
    thedazman's Avatar WaReZeR
    Join Date
    Apr 2005
    Location
    UK
    Age
    32
    Posts
    58
    2 blondes are talking. One says to the other "which is closer, London or the Moon?
    the other blonde replies "Duh! The Moon, you can't see London from here".


    Three women are about to be executed. One's a brunette, one's a redhead, and one's a blonde. Two guards brings the brunette forward, and the executioner asks if she has any last requests.
    She says no, and the executioner shouts, "Ready . . . Aim . . ."

    Suddenly the brunette yells, "earthquake!!"

    Everyone is startled and looks around. She manages to escape.

    The angry guards then bring the redhead forward, and the executioner asks if she has any last requests.

    She says no, and the executioner shouts, "Ready . . . Aim . . ."

    The redhead then screams, "tornado!!"

    Yet again, everyone is startled and looks around. She too escapes execution.

    By this point, the blonde had figured out what the others did. The guards bring her forward, and the executioner asks if she has any last requests.

    She also says no, and the executioner shouts, "Ready . . . Aim . . ."

    The blonde shouts, "fire!!"

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •