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Thread: Old blonde jokes

  1. #1
    hippychick's Avatar Memo, what memo? BT Rep: +5
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    Why do blondes like lightning?
    They think someone is taking their picture.

    Why did it take the blonde an hour to eat breakfast?
    Because the orange juice carton instructions said Concentrate ! !

    What do you do if a blonde throws a grenade at you?
    Pull the pin and throw it back at him.

    How did the blonde fall on the floor?
    He tripped over the cordless phone.

    How did the blonde try to kill a bird?
    He threw it off a mountain cliff !

    Why did the blonde climb the glass wall ?
    To see what was on the other side!

    How do you confuse a blonde?
    Put him in a round room and tell him to sit in one corner!

    Hear about the blonde that got an AM radio?
    It took him a month to realize he could play it at night.

    Why did the blonde going to the airport turn around and go home?
    Because he saw the sign that said "Airport Left".

    Two blondes were walking through the woods and they came to some tracks.
    The first blonde said "These look like deer tracks,"
    and the other blonde said, "No, they look like moose tracks."
    They argued and argued, and they were still arguing when the train hit them.

    Why can't a blonde dial 911?
    He can't find the 11 on the phone!

    How do you keep a blonde in suspense?
    I'll tell you tomorrow!

  2. Lounge   -   #2
    DanB's Avatar Smoke weed everyday
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    old but funny, bit like my gran

  3. Lounge   -   #3
    sparsely's Avatar °¤°¤°¤°¤°¤°¤°
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    blonde & brunette in a bar
    a cell phone rings
    Brunette (to blonde): Isn't that your phone ringing?
    Blonde: Couldn't be. Nobody knows I'm here.

    :|

    this post is guaranteed 100% parrot-free

  4. Lounge   -   #4
    DanB's Avatar Smoke weed everyday
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  5. Lounge   -   #5

    Cool

    LOL nice.....hey i got one too

    Why did the blonde gurl fuck a mexican?????
    because the teacher told her to do an essay!!

  6. Lounge   -   #6
    Quote Originally Posted by Sparsely
    blonde & brunette in a bar
    a cell phone rings
    Brunette (to blonde): Isn't that your phone ringing?
    Blonde: Couldn't be. Nobody knows I'm here.

    :|
    great

  7. Lounge   -   #7
    thedazman's Avatar WaReZeR
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    2 blondes are talking. One says to the other "which is closer, London or the Moon?
    the other blonde replies "Duh! The Moon, you can't see London from here".


    Three women are about to be executed. One's a brunette, one's a redhead, and one's a blonde. Two guards brings the brunette forward, and the executioner asks if she has any last requests.
    She says no, and the executioner shouts, "Ready . . . Aim . . ."

    Suddenly the brunette yells, "earthquake!!"

    Everyone is startled and looks around. She manages to escape.

    The angry guards then bring the redhead forward, and the executioner asks if she has any last requests.

    She says no, and the executioner shouts, "Ready . . . Aim . . ."

    The redhead then screams, "tornado!!"

    Yet again, everyone is startled and looks around. She too escapes execution.

    By this point, the blonde had figured out what the others did. The guards bring her forward, and the executioner asks if she has any last requests.

    She also says no, and the executioner shouts, "Ready . . . Aim . . ."

    The blonde shouts, "fire!!"

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