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Thread: Tech support

  1. #1
    Skiz's Avatar (_8(I)
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    BEWARE OF THE FOLLOWING:

    Dear Tech Support:

    Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources. In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now monitors all other system activity. Applications such as Poker Night 10.3, Football 5.0, Hunting and Fishing 7.5, and Racing 3.6 no longer run, crashing the system whenever selected.

    I can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run my favorite applications. I'm thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but the uninstall doesn't work on Wife 1.0. Please help!

    Thanks,
    A Troubled User.

    -------------------------------------------------------

    REPLY:
    Dear Troubled User:

    This is a very common problem that men complain about.

    Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking that it is just a Utilities and Entertainment program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by its Creator to run EVERYTHING!!! It is also impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and to return to Girlfriend 7.0. It is impossible to uninstall, or purge the program files from the system once installed.

    You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed to not allow this. Look in your Wife 1.0 manual under
    Warnings-Alimony-Child Support. I recommend that you keep Wife1.0 and work on improving the situation. I suggest installing the background application "Yes Dear" to alleviate software augmentation.

    The best course of action is to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE because ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the system will return to normal anyway.

    Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance. Wife 1.0 comes with several support programs, such as Clean and Sweep 3.0, Cook It 1.5 and Do Bills 4.2.

    However, be very careful how you use these programs. Improper use will cause the system to launch the program Nag Nag 9.5. Once this happens, the only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase additional software. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds 5.0 !

    WARNING!!! DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Secretary With Short Skirt 3.3. This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and will cause irreversible damage to the operating system.

    Best of luck,
    Tech Support

    Jerry S.



    ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒΕ
    The FST Last.fm group

  2. Lounge   -   #2
    S!X's Avatar L33T Member BT Rep: +5
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    Did you make that up?

  3. Lounge   -   #3
    Rip The Jacker's Avatar Retired
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    Why didn't you post this in the Funny Stuff section?

  4. Lounge   -   #4
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    Have you yet installed Secretary With Short Skirt 3.3?
    It seems to be the only way to get rid of Wife 1.0

    Love
    T-O

  5. Lounge   -   #5
    Mr. Mulder's Avatar pepper your angus BT Rep: +10BT Rep +10
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  6. Lounge   -   #6
    clocker's Avatar Shovel Ready
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    Installing Lolita Babysitter v1.6 will also cause Wife 1.0 to crash, but only if you run both apps at once.

    Mac users need to be aware that trying to keep Boyfriend 2.5 (experimental version) hidden in System Files will NOT work, as Wife 1.0 has Admin priviledges and is in the closet constantly.
    Not only will this lead to major system instability, the user will also develop an interest in Liza Minelli and/or Seigfried and Roy.
    "I am the one who knocks."- Heisenberg

  7. Lounge   -   #7
    bigboab's Avatar Poster BT Rep: +1
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    Why is there no automatic updates.
    The best way to keep a secret:- Tell everyone not to tell anyone.

  8. Lounge   -   #8
    clocker's Avatar Shovel Ready
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    Quote Originally Posted by bigboab
    Why is there no automatic updates.
    Because Wife 1.0 w/ SP2 disables them by default.
    As yet there is no known workaround for this issue, but Lawyer 2.1 looks promising.
    "I am the one who knocks."- Heisenberg

  9. Lounge   -   #9
    Guillaume's Avatar Kentish old lady BT Rep: +8BT Rep +8
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    Anybody got a serail for Menageątrois 1.01?
    Please PM me.

  10. Lounge   -   #10
    clocker's Avatar Shovel Ready
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    I see that Best Buy has a sale on Happy Hooker rev.J (the Pretty Woman/Julia Roberts Platinum Edition).

    This can be a viable alternative to either Wife 1.0 OR GF .7...especially if you enable all of the options (nudge,nudge,wink,wink).
    Last edited by clocker; 05-06-2005 at 09:16 PM.
    "I am the one who knocks."- Heisenberg

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