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Thread: some people should never have a computer

  1. #1
    baccyman's Avatar n00b BT Rep: +11BT Rep +11BT Rep +11
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    IF YOU THINK YOU ARE SLIGHTLY COMPUTER ILLITERATE, READ THIS,
    YOU'LL FEEL
    BETTER.



    Take heart, anyone among you who believes he or she is
    technologically
    challenged, you "ain't seen nuthin" yet. This is an excerpt from a
    Wall
    Street Journal article:

    1. Compaq is considering changing the command "Press Any Key" to
    "Press Return Key" because of the flood of calls asking where the "Any"
    key is.

    2. AST technical support had a caller complaining that her mouse
    was hard to control with the dust cover on. The cover turned out to be the
    plastic bag the mouse was packaged in.

    3. Another Dell customer called to say he couldn't get his
    computer to fax anything. After 40 minutes of troubleshooting, the technician
    discovered the man was trying to fax a piece of paper by holding it in front of
    the monitor screen and hitting the "Send" key.

    4. Yet another Dell customer called to complain that his keyboard no longer
    worked. He had cleaned it by filling up his bathtub with soap and
    water and soaking the keyboard for a day, then removing all the keys and
    washing them individually.

    5. A Dell technician received a call from a customer who was
    enraged because his computer had told him he was "Bad and an invalid." The tech
    explained that the computer's "bad command" and "invalid" responses
    shouldn't be taken personally.

    6. A confused caller to IBM was having trouble printing documents.
    He told the technician that the computer had said it "couldn't find
    printer." The user had also tried turning the computer screen to face the
    printer-but that his computer still couldn't "see" the printer.

    7. An exasperated caller to Dell Computer Tech Support couldn't
    get her new Dell Computer to turn on. After ensuring the computer was plugged
    in, the technician asked her what happened when she pushed the power
    button. Her response, "I pushed and pushed on this foot pedal and nothing
    happened." The "foot pedal" turned out to be the computer's mouse...

    8. Another customer called Compaq tech support to say her brand
    new computer wouldn't work. She said she unpacked the unit, plugged it in and
    sat there for 20 minutes waiting for something to happen. When asked what
    happened when she pre ssed the power switch, she asked, "What power switch?"

    9. Another IBM customer had trouble installing software and rang
    for support. "I put in the first disk, and that was OK. It said to put
    in the second disk, and had some problems with the disk. When it said to
    put in the third disk, I couldn't even fit it in..." The user hadn't realized that
    "Insert Disk 2" implied removing Disk 1 first.

    10. A story from a Novell NetWare SysOp:
    CALLER: "Hello, is this Tech Support?"
    TECH: "Yes, it is. How may I help you?"
    CALLER: "The cup holder on my PC is broken -and I am within my warranty
    period. How do I go about getting that fixed?"
    TECH: "I'm sorry, but did you say a cup holder?"
    CALLER: "Yes, it's attached to the front of my computer."
    TECH: "Please excuse me. If I seem a bit stumped, it's because I
    am. Did you receive this as part of a promotional at a trade show? How did
    you get this cup holder? Does it have any trademark on it?"

    CALLER: "It came with my computer. I don't know anything about a
    promotional. It just has '4X' on it." At this point, the Tech Rep had to mute the caller because he couldn't stand it. He was laughing too hard. The caller had been using the load
    drawer of the CD-ROM drive as a cup holder and it had snapped it off the drive.

    11. A woman called the Canon help desk with a problem with her
    printer.The tech asked her if she was "running it under windows." The
    woman responded, "No, my desk is next to the door. But that is a good
    point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window and his
    printer is working fine."

    12. And last but not least:
    TECH SUPPORT: "O.K. Bob, let's press the control and escape keys at the same
    time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now
    type the letter "P" to bring up the Program Manager."
    CUSTOMER: "I don't have a 'P'".
    TECH SUPPORT: "On your keyboard, Bob."
    CUSTOMER: "What do you mean?"
    TECH SUPPORT: " 'P' on your keyboard, Bob."
    CUSTOMER: "I'm not going to do that!"

  2. Funny S**t   -   #2
    Skiz's Avatar (_8(I)
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    12. And last but not least:
    TECH SUPPORT: "O.K. Bob, let's press the control and escape keys at the same
    time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now
    type the letter "P" to bring up the Program Manager."
    CUSTOMER: "I don't have a 'P'".
    TECH SUPPORT: "On your keyboard, Bob."
    CUSTOMER: "What do you mean?"
    TECH SUPPORT: " 'P' on your keyboard, Bob."
    CUSTOMER: "I'm not going to do that!"



    ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒΕ
    The FST Last.fm group

  3. Funny S**t   -   #3
    Virtualbody1234's Avatar Forum Star BT Rep: +2
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    A woman working in a bank calls tech support downtown and asks:

    "Is there a fire in the downtown office? Because there is smoke coming out of the back of my computer."

  4. Funny S**t   -   #4
    maebach's Avatar Team FST Captain
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    they're probably americans... thats really good post man. always look forward to your posts since 'a bit of a laugh' pt1 and 2

  5. Funny S**t   -   #5
    ziggyjuarez's Avatar Poster
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    Quote Originally Posted by Skizo
    12. And last but not least:
    TECH SUPPORT: "O.K. Bob, let's press the control and escape keys at the same
    time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now
    type the letter "P" to bring up the Program Manager."
    CUSTOMER: "I don't have a 'P'".
    TECH SUPPORT: "On your keyboard, Bob."
    CUSTOMER: "What do you mean?"
    TECH SUPPORT: " 'P' on your keyboard, Bob."
    CUSTOMER: "I'm not going to do that!"
    gold'n

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