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Thread: Canada day overhang

  1. #1
    peat moss's Avatar Software Farmer BT Rep: +15BT Rep +15BT Rep +15
    Join Date
    May 2003
    Delta B.C. Canada
    Well I thought of this thread when I got this old joke in an email.

    Hey I'm #2 but VB and Ross are at least a 3, Nikkid I'm not sure !

    One Star Hangover (*)
    No pain. No real feeling of illness.
    You're able to function relatively well.
    However, you are still parched. You
    can drink 5 sodas and still feel this way.
    For some reason, you are craving a steak & fries.

    Two Star Hangover (**)
    No pain, but something is definitely amiss.
    You may look okay, but you have the mental
    capacity of a staple gun. The coffee you are
    chugging is only increasing your rumbling gut,
    which is still tossing around the fruity pancake
    from the 3:00 A.M. Waffle House excursion.
    There is some definite havoc being wreaked
    upon your bowels.

    Three Star Hangover (***)
    Slight headache. Stomach feels like shit. You are
    definitely not productive. Anytime a girl walks
    by you gag because her perfume reminds you of
    the flavored schnapps shots your alcoholic friends
    dared you to drink. Life would be better right now
    if you were home in your bed watching Friends
    reruns. You've had 4 cups of coffee, a gallon of
    water, 3 iced teas and a diet Coke --- yet you
    haven't pissed once.

    Four Star Hangover (****)
    Life sucks. Your head is throbbing. You can't speak
    too quickly or else you might puke. Your boss has
    already lambasted you for being late and has given
    you a lecture for reeking of booze. You wore nice
    clothes, but that can't hide the fact that you only
    shaved one side of your face. (For the ladies, it
    looks like you put your make-up on while riding the
    bumper cars.) Your eyes look like one big red vein,
    and even your hair hurts. Your sphincter is in
    perpetual spasm, and the first of about five shits you take
    during the day brings water to the eyes of everyone who
    enters the bathroom.

    Five Star Hangover (*****)
    You have a second heartbeat in your head, which is
    actually annoying the employee who sits in the next
    cube. Vodka vapor is seeping out of every pore and
    making you dizzy. You still have toothpaste crust in
    the corners of your mouth from brushing your teeth in
    an attempt to get the remnants of the poop fairy out.
    Your body has lost the ability to generate saliva so your
    tongue is suffocating you. You don't have the foggiest
    idea who the hell the stranger was passed out in your
    bed this morning. Any attempt to defecate results in a
    fire hose like discharge of alcohol-scented fluid with a
    rare 'floater' thrown in. The sole purpose of this 'floater'
    seems to be to splash the toilet water all over your ass.
    Death sounds pretty good right about now....
    Last edited by peat moss; 07-02-2005 at 08:00 AM.

  2. Lounge   -   #2
    Virtualbody1234's Avatar Forum Star BT Rep: +2
    Join Date
    Oct 2003
    Quote Originally Posted by peat moss
    Hey I'm #2 but VB and Ross are at least a 3, Nikkid I'm not sure !
    I have zero (0) hangover.

  3. Lounge   -   #3
    Guillaume's Avatar Kentish old lady BT Rep: +8BT Rep +8
    Join Date
    May 2003
    Hehe. That's a keeper.

    The saddest part is, the older you get the easier getting at stage 5 is, even when you don't drink a lot.

  4. Lounge   -   #4
    NikkiD's Avatar Yen?
    Join Date
    Nov 2002
    Port Dover, Ontario
    I'm about a three... weird thing is I didn't drink. Well I drank water, but I was too busy cooking and babysitting everyone's kids all day. For some reason, the whole lot of them flock to me.


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