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Thread: Man commits suicide after learning harry potter spoiler

  1. #1
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    Something off topic a bit... but on another forum someone posted that someone (who I checked how far from me... is like 1h39m away) went and killed himself due to hearing a spoiler...

    Originally Posted by http://www.borowitzreport.com/archiv...?rec=1169&srch
    MAN COMMITS SUICIDE AFTER LEARNING HARRY POTTER SPOILER
    ‘I No Longer Have a Reason to Live,’ Says Despondent Potter Fan

    A rabid Harry Potter fan took his life yesterday after inadvertently learning a plot spoiler from the soon-to-be-released J.K. Rowling opus, “Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince.”

    Jude Ralston, 32, of Hudson, Ohio left a suicide note indicating that since overhearing the plot spoiler at a shopping mall earlier in the day, “I no longer have a reason to live.”

    Family and friends who gathered for a candlelight memorial outside Mr. Ralston’s house remembered a man who seemed to live only for Harry Potter – and wondered if they could have done anything to prevent his tragic fate.

    “When Jude got that vanity license plate that said ‘Hogwarts,’ that seemed harmless enough,” said Polly Clovis, who attended Model U.N. with Mr. Ralston while the two were in high school. “But when he started wearing that wizard hat around town, we really should have seen that as a cry for help.”

    According to friends of Mr. Ralston, the Potter fanatic had done everything in his power to protect himself from stumbling across Potter plot spoilers, even disconnecting his computer from the Internet and avoiding his favorite vintage comic book store.

    Ms. Clovis said that she hoped Mr. Ralston’s death would cause federal authorities to tighten the flow of Harry Potter plot information to prevent similar tragedies from taking place.

    “In my heart I believe that could have saved Jude’s life, even if he didn’t have one,” she said.

    Elsewhere, President Bush called the jailing of a New York Times reporter “a positive step,” but warned that many other reporters were still at large.

  2. Lounge   -   #2
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    /split post

  3. Lounge   -   #3
    Guillaume's Avatar Kentish old lady BT Rep: +8BT Rep +8
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    Haha very funny.

    But this doesn't belong here, IKE, move it to funny stuff.

  4. Lounge   -   #4
    vidcc's Avatar there is no god
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    Perhaps the story is true...perhaps not...people commit suicide for what can often seem very silly reasons. I do think it may be just a bit of silliness written in response to the silly reactions to the Potter series.... I do think Karl Rove should be investigated to make sure he definitely has "no involvement" in the leak

    it’s an election with no Democrats, in one of the whitest states in the union, where rich candidates pay $35 for your votes. Or, as Republicans call it, their vision for the future.

  5. Lounge   -   #5
    MCHeshPants420's Avatar Fake Shemp
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    Harry Potter sucks.








    ^^Spoiler Above^^

  6. Lounge   -   #6
    Snee's Avatar Error xɐʇuʎs BT Rep: +1
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    Man commits suicide after learning harry potter spoiler
    I once sat through one of the movies, I can understand killing yourself over that, but a spoiler can't be that bad

  7. Lounge   -   #7
    manker's Avatar effendi
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    Quote Originally Posted by MCHeshPants420
    Harry Potter sucks.








    ^^Spoiler Above^^


    Spoiler above jokes rawk.
    I plan on beating him to death with his kids. I'll use them as a bludgeon on his face. -

    --Good for them if they survive.

  8. Lounge   -   #8
    MCHeshPants420's Avatar Fake Shemp
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    I saw the headline on BBC News " Rowling 'dreading' end of Potter".

    Of course she fucking is, she won't be able to make any more obscene amounts of money once she's finished writing the series and then she'll be exposed for the fraud she is when she tries to write something else.
    Last edited by MCHeshPants420; 07-18-2005 at 10:33 PM.

  9. Lounge   -   #9
    bigboab's Avatar Poster BT Rep: +1
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    Is Harry Potter a new make of car?
    The best way to keep a secret:- Tell everyone not to tell anyone.

  10. Lounge   -   #10
    sArA's Avatar Ex-Moderatererer
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    I don't see anything fraudulent about being a one (?) hit wonder...I just find it a little sad.

    Of course, that bloke was nuts if true...but it will just feed the 'bonkers' people's paranoia...and I really do wish that those evangelical do-gooders would pack it in and loosen up a bit.

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